Project 31: Day 1: Beauty

So I just started following the blog She Breathes Deeply like yesterday, but I have read several of her posts and I just really like them. She's starting this new project called Project 31. I'm not going to go into detail describing it because, well, she does a great job of it herself! I decided to join and try to write one every day or as many days as I can. I've never done a blog challenge before, so we'll see how it goes!

Day 1: What does beauty mean to you?

To define beauty in my own words would be nearly impossible to do with any amount of originality, but I'll try. Beauty, as applied to people, is an outward expression of an inward condition. I also love how Peter described it (1 Peter 3:3-4): "Your beauty should not be an external one, consisting of braided hair or the wearing of gold ornaments and dresses. Instead, it should be the inner disposition of the heart, consisting in the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which God values greatly."

As an artist, I have a trained eye for external beauty. I know about the elements of design like line, color, shape, texture, etc. I also know about the principles of design including balance, unity, repetition, and the like. The elements and principles are the tools I use to define what is beautiful in nature and in art. When applied to people, especially women, it's easy to see beauty in all different shapes, colors, and textures. Think about it. Some women are curvy, and some are tall and thin. Some are dark skinned and some are pale. Some women have beautiful wrinkles, a canvas of texture, while some have beautiful soft skin. They may not embody beauty by the definition popular culture uses, but artistically, they are beautiful.

As a Christian, I have a God-given blueprint for inner beauty as well. I know about the fruits of the spirit such as love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, to name a few. The fruits are how others should see Christ in us. Obviously, it's not always the case. But it should be. It absolutely should be. A person who is beautiful on the inside is patient with her family, loves friend and foe, and is at peace mentally and physically. It's nearly impossible for everyone to display these traits all at once and all of the time.

I feel like the elements/fruits are really the defining characteristics of beauty both physically and spiritually. Isn't it true, that as cliche as it sounds, when someone is inwardly full of joy, externally they look as though they could burst with their excitement and happiness?!? And when someone is at peace, you can tell by their whole aura.

These are a few shots of me on my wedding day, two and a half years ago. Unstaged, unprompted, natural shots.

People tell me they love these two photos. I was full of joy that day. It was unmistakeable. You can't hide the fruits of the spirit. They're evident, or should be, in your daily life. A person who "speaks" them through the way she lives her life radiates beauty. It permeates her entire being. I certainly don't exhibit all of the fruits every day. There are some I'm definitely better at than others, and there are some that I have to work very hard at. Namely patience. That one's hard for me. Not every piece of I create has all or even more than one of the elements and principles in it. Similarly, some come very naturally to me while others I have to consciously work to achieve.

Every woman wants to be told she's beautiful. I'll be the first to admit I love that. I've been told it all my life by my parents and now my husband. It never gets old. Ever. But at the end of the day, I want the reason to be more than skin deep. I want to be so full of the fruits of the spirit that I radiate inner beauty. That will enhance my outer beauty more than makeup or cute outfits ever could. I want my inner beauty to be so evident that when others see my art or read my blog, they just know without being told what kind of person I am. If I could chose a legacy to leave to my future children and grandchildren, I would want it to be that I was a beautiful person, inside and out, just like the Proverbs 31 woman.

Pre-Moving Emotions

Nate's really been taking the emotions as they come and handling them really well. As I mentioned, if I were in his shoes, I'd be a complete and utter mess. He is leaving the state and area he has known his WHOLE LIFE. I can't imagine how hard that is. Personally, I have been postponing dealing with this move emotionally. I have been too busy organizing and planning and cleaning and being practical about it that I haven't really allowed myself to really process it. Sure, I've had my semi-daily visits to Valerie and Andrew's Facebook pages to see pictures of my new charge and adorable now 8-week-old niece. Nate and I have also been immersing ourselves in everything Gateway Church, not in a cult-ish type way but just because it helps us to get excited about the awesome things we have to look forward to. Thus far, I've allowed myself to experience the exciting bits. The scary and sad bits? Not so much. I know I am going to miss people like crazy and will go through a lonely stage, but I know that the reality of the move and all of the emotions that come with it will hit me when we get to Texas. I will likely experience every emotion imaginable upon our arrival, so I guess for now I will just let myself focus on the excited bits and postpone the sob-sessions.

The [Sarcastically] Best Post EVER

When it comes to language both written and verbal, I appreciate humorous quips as much as the next girl. It took me awhile, but I started using "fail" in a sentence, though I think saying something is "epic" is still a little too "emo" for me. I guess I have a harder time harnessing my inner 17-year-old boy than others do. I jest. However, there is one colloquial saying that I just can no longer silently tolerate. It has become a huge pet peeve for me.

My [husband, daughter, mom, etc.] is the [insert superlative adjective here, e.g. best, prettiest, smartest] EVER.

I know I'm going to sound hypersensitive, but I find this SO OFFENSIVE. Seriously. When using a superlative, you are by definition making a comparison. For non-grammarian readers, a superlative is basically a descriptive word with an -est at the end of the word. It's usually fine when using it to describe inanimate objects or ideas, but it's pretty much never fine when used about people in public.* For example, when someone tells me they have the best husband ever, I know they don't intend to say that my husband is worse by comparison, but that is exactly what they are saying. My mental reaction is usually, Hmm, I think mine's pretty swell, thank you very much.

Granted, I used to use this phrase all the time to describe people, that is until I bore the brunt of this comparison enough times that it became very hurtful to me. People don't intend it, but after awhile, especially to people whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation, it's very difficult to indirectly be told you, someone you love, or something you've done is second best. As a Christian, I think I can without question say that edifying one person while demeaning another is not really what God intends. I mean it's pretty explicit in Ephesians 4:29, no matter which version you read. The New Living Translation is not usually my go-to version, but I'm a fan of it with this verse: "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

I am in no way an expert on this. I am also in no way inferring that we should walk on eggshells around people, always worrying that we might offend others. That's just plain nonsense. But think about it, would you walk into a room full of teachers and loudly proclaim to one of them, You're the best teacher EVER!!!? No, you wouldn't. Or if you did, you'd probably get a lot of scowls. Nobody wants to be second best. Now if I told you that Dr. Pepper is the best carbonated beverage EVER, I'd be right. It absolutely is. :o) And if you told me that The Office is the funniest show EVER, I'd probably tell you that you were crazy. I don't think I'll ever understand the draw of that show. But no one would be hurt. I think the Queen of Long-Winded made her point.

I just had to get that out. A huge percentage of people I know use this phrase. I think even my husband recently used it to describe me on Facebook the other day. So I want to clarify that I am not directing this at anyone in particular and don't want anyone to feel judged by me. I just think that we too easily say things we think without considering their effect on others, and I felt the need to present people with a viewpoint on a topic about which they probably haven't given much thought. People are obviously free to formulate their own opinions.

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*I totally tell my husband that he is the best ever in private but never within earshot of other people. When other people are around, I love to publicly encourage him but try to do so without superlatives.

Not my first barbeque

This is not my first barbecue. I've moved a lot. I know what it is like to get attached to people and places and the memories of events that occurred when living in a place. I know how to say goodbye and how important it is to keep in touch or else lose the friends you had (pre-Facebook, of course) but how you and the friends with which you do stay in touch can reunite and feel like no time has been lost at all. I have felt the pain of being, in essence, ripped away from your seemingly amazing life, being transplanted, and having to start all over again building new friendships, moving into a new house, new school, and new town. I've done all that. Not to say that it's always been easy. At times it really was easy, but other times it has been so, so hard. This move is falling somewhere in the middle, but it's so different than all of the past moves.

How many times have you moved, Laura?

Well I'm glad you asked.

1. 6 months. From IA to IN. I don't remember that at all, obviously.

2. 4 years. From IN to MN. Barely remember it.

3. 13 years. From MN to IN. I was so excited about this move.

4. 17 years. From IN to MI. I HATED this move in every imaginable way.

5. 24 years. From Jackson, MI to Coldwater, MI. I was very excited about this move.

6. 27 years. From Coldwater, MI to Dallas, TX. Oh boy.

In case you weren't counting, this will be my sixth move. Not that you should feel sorry for me and not that I'm bragging (because neither is the case). You should just know that my dad is/was a pastor and that should explain a few things. If not, it's a topic for another post anyway.

As for Nate, this is his first move. He's never been gone from Coldwater for longer than a semester or a summer, pretty much since he was born. I'm not suggesting that moving a lot is better than never moving. It's just different. Very different. I think it sometimes makes it impossible very difficult for us to understand each other. But, as with most topics and things about our personalities, I think it's just another way we complement each other.

As we were driving down the main drag in Coldwater today, I said to Nate, "I really cannot imagine what it must be like to have lived in a place ALL your life." I honestly can't even fathom it. I mean to see a parking space where you first practiced parallel parking and the spot where you used to sit to watch parades as a child in the same town. To have attended the same church all your life. To have gone to the same dentist since you had baby teeth and drive by the hospital where your mom has worked for as long as you can remember. It blows my mind. If I were Nate, I'd be so emotionally wrapped up in the town that I'm not sure I would ever want to move.

Conversely, Nate has a horrible time figuring out and remembering where I lived when. I learned to parallel park in southern Indiana and watched parades in Minnesota. As for churches I've called "home", I lost count at 14. (Yeah, I'm not really sure if I am proud or embarrassed about that). I've been to five different dentists (not including orthodontists) and my mom has had more totally different teaching jobs in totally different towns and cities than I can even describe to you right now. It must be so odd for Nate to try to wrap his mind around the various stages and locations of my life, but somehow, he does. I love that he tries. That means so much to me.

But I am so glad that this is our first move together. I mean we moved into this house in Michigan separately, him about six months before our wedding and me when we got married. Now that we are moving to Texas, I love that I can draw on him for strength and stability but that he has my experience from living in a wide variety of places already. Gag if you want to, but we're a great match.

Resolution-less Goals

I don't make new year's resolutions. I guess I'm just not much for making promises to myself that I don't intend to keep. But, in the back of my mind, I often find myself thinking "oh, maybe this year I'll lose weight or consistently read my Bible or check a few more items off my list of things I'd like to do before I die." Though I never really publicly proclaim them as resolutions, I think those are always the major reoccurring goals I tend to mentally renew every year.

Sometime shortly after New Year's Day 2010, Nate and I decided to seriously start losing some weight. And we did. I didn't quite reach my goal weight, but I'm happy to say that I lost 20 lbs. and have kept it off, give or take about 5 lbs. If I were to make resolutions this year, one would be to knock off the other 20 lbs. I'd like to lose.

I've always wanted to read through the whole Bible in a year, but the reading plans that pick a New Testament and an Old Testament selection every day just never worked for me. I'm too anal-retentive for that kind of chaotic reading plan. So, I downloaded a free Bible app run by YouVersion.com. It has several translations/paraphrases to choose from and countless reading plans that you can customize. I chose the chronological reading plan (in order of when events occurred not by when they were written, though that is another reading plan option). I have LOVED it. I started the plan in October, but I've read ahead so much that I will probably complete it in 9 months instead of the originally planned year. You don't have to have an iPod touch or iPhone to use YouVersion reading plans. You can sign up and use the website. If I were to make resolutions this year, one would be to finish this reading plan.

Since I was a teenager, I have kept a list of things I would like to do before I die. It sounds morbid, but the idea came from a show I saw on the Travel channel about 10 years ago. It's the same as what other people call their "Bucket List." I constantly add to my list, but I currently have about 85 things. I have completed 27 of them. Some are major accomplishments while others are pretty minor. Visit a castle. Check. Drive a tractor. Check. Dance in the rain. Check. See the Blue Man Group in Chicago. Check. Ride an elephant. Check. I checked off about 9 things in 2005 alone. I'm a little sad to say that in 2009 I only completed one: Visit Boston in the fall. In 2010, I learned how to can. While I'm thankful to have gained these wonderful experiences and to have these great memories, I know I can do better than one a year! If I were to make resolutions this year, one would be to complete at least 3 items in 2011.

But since I don't make new year's resolutions, I won't get my hopes up. I won't make any promises to myself that I can't or won't keep. I've no intention of disappointing myself. That would be just awful! On the flip-side, setting goals for oneself can be really encouraging and inspiring, so here's to a new year of setting goals and if not reaching them, being a step or two closer to them by the end of the year than I was at the beginning of it. You may say I'm getting hung up on semantics, but it's my way of setting goals for myself without falling into despair when I don't reach them.

2011 Goals

-20 lbs :: +Bible :: +3 Things

On Trend-Following or Lack Thereof

So I have decided that UGG must be short for "ugly". Some of the boots I've seen are passable, but most of them...yep, they're ugly. I can think of better ways to spend my $70, thank you very much.

Thank goodness I'm not a kid now because sillybandz are probably the lame-est trend ever. What on earth is so desirable about a colorful, non-functional rubber band? You can't tell what shape they are when you wear them, so what is the point? And kids trade them like they're valuable; "I'll trade your star for my dinosaur." *eye roll* If they are just meant to be fun-shaped bracelets, then call them sillybracelets. Now slap-bracelets – those were cool. And at least POGS were a fun game, lame as that trend was. I was a little old by the time the Pokemon craze was in full-swing, but it, at least, seemed more like a cute kids' game than a dumb trend.

If you can't tell, I've never been much of a trend-follower. That's not to say I'm a trend-setter, however, as that certainly isn't the case either. I just mean to say that I'm usually the last to succumb to a new trend. Part of the time, I'm probably blithely unaware of the comings and goings of trends, while other times I just don't care.

Rewind back to about 1992, when I was about 9 years old. Jeans were first starting to be cool (for my demographic) and stretch-pants were on the way out. I was hesitant. Given the choice between my single pair of elastic-waist stonewashed jeans and my elastic-waist stretch-pants in almost every color, I would have chosen the stretch-pants every time. They were WAY more comfy; it was almost like wearing pajamas to school. But alas, peer pressure got the best of me, and I dropped the uncool stretch-pants for the stiff and rigid jeans. That was a very rare instance though, because normally, I'd go for what I wanted and not what was popular.

Oh, bangs are in? Hmm, that's interesting. Never had them. Never wanted them. I doubt I ever will.

People are always shocked, SHOCKED, I tell you, when they find out I don't have pierced ears. Seriously, you'd think I have two heads or something by the way they look at me. But to those who ask why, my answer is usually one of the following: "Why would I intentionally inflict pain on myself?" "I would never let a complete stranger point and shoot a gun at me for any reason." "I have attached earlobes, and earrings don't really look good on me anyway." "I'm too cheap for the expense of everything that comes with pierced ears." Growing up, Mom never flatly told me that I couldn't have pierced ears, but she did instill in me a mindset of "why would I want them?" If I got them for the same reasons most of my friends did, because "everyone else was doing it," than that was for the wrong reason. She did always half-jokingly say, "If God wanted your ears pierced, he would have made them that way." Honestly, I don't really think God cares whether my ears are pierced or not, but I do think he cares if I pierce them because I want to or if it's because other people do.

I didn't get my first real haircut until I was 14. I had had lots of trims, but that was the first time it had ever been cut. I've never permed it or dyed it (save one regrettable experience in college that thankfully didn't really affect my dark hair). I rarely blow dry it and even less rarely curl it. Hairdressers are always telling me how healthy my hair is. I'm pretty proud of that, not going to lie. I have almost always had long hair, and I suppose one reason is that I have always thought my hair was pretty. I don't mean that in a vain way. Believe me, I have never had a problem with vanity. But I've been complimented on my hair so many times throughout my life that I've finally believed it.

I am pretty proud of the times I've avoided trend-following. I don't know where it came from, but I prefer to just be me: my dorky, long-haired, bangs-less, cheap living, long-winded, God-following, husband-loving, odd-ball-in-the-crowd self. But honestly, I've never found myself longing for those stretch-pants again.

The Miss List

I'm going to miss:

:: Meijer-brand low fat Chocolate Moose Tracks Ice Cream.

:: Our fenced-in backyard.

:: Los Tres Amigos.

:: The lake.

:: Living across the driveway from Nate's grandpa, Joe Ferry.

:: Being 15 minutes from Nate's parents and 1 hour from my parents.

:: Somerset Beach Campground.

:: No water or sewer bill. (We have a well and septic system.)

:: Really, really inexpensive rent.

:: Belle Tire. (We have free tire rotation, balancing, and alignment checks. Come to find out Belle Tire is only in Michigan and Ohio. FAIL.)

:: My parents. Nate's parents. Jonathan & Rebecca.

:: Allen Antique Malls.

Things I'm NOT going to miss:

:: The snow. (I'm sure I will eventually miss it, but it's going to take a long, long, long time.)

:: Not having a garage.

:: My husband's two-hour daily commute. (It's one hour each way.)

:: Being 40 miles away from the nearest Target, farmers' markets, and the like.

:: The incredibly HARD water.

:: Did I mention the cold and snow?

:: The ginormous tree growing over our house. During every thunderstorm, I'm afraid it is going to come crashing down on us.

:: Andrew & Valerie. My niece, Ellie.

:: Small town newspapers.

:: Fireworks going off randomly throughout the year and scaring my dog half to death.

:: My tiny kitchen and lack of a dishwasher.