Ten Years :: My 9-11 Memories

Everyone has their own version and their own memories of the day. Mine are not especially significant. I didn't know anyone who was affected, and I don't have anything to say that is profound or really even worth sharing. In fact, on the tenth anniversary of this historic day, I even put off thinking about it because I didn't want to remember how I felt or how sad it was. It helps me to process my thoughts by writing them down, and so that's what I shall do.

Ten years ago. I was 17. Seventeen. I've almost forgotten what it's like to be a teenager. I was recently made painfully aware of this when hearing the age (15) of a babysitter who was going to watch my niece, Ellie for me so that Nate and I could go to a comedy night at our church. I thought, fifteen is too young to babysit a nine month...oh, wait. I started babysitting when I was 12 or 13. *facepalm* But the facts are that seventeen-year-old-me and my family had just moved to Michigan like a month prior, and school had just started about two weeks before September 11. I worked at McDonald's. All of my grandparents were still living (and I now only have one living grandma). I drove myself and my 13-year-old brother to school in my parents' 1983 Chevy Celebrity. I was also enrolled at a university, where I would later earn my bachelor's degree, taking a college-level Spanish class Monday and Wednesday afternoons, but Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons were free for me to spend extra time in the lab of my favorite class, Yearbook, of which I would later be asked to be editor. This is what I wrote as it appears in my high school's 2001-2002 yearbook.
9-11
They said we'd always remember 9-11. I could never forget. Could you?
By Laura Wills, Editor of the Royal Heir 2002
      It was a normal Tuesday morning, just like any other school day. I was sitting in government class, trying to stay awake, when everything changed. Mr. Barsuhn was called out of the room, and he returned with a serious expression on his face. He told us that a terrorist-controlled plane flew into one of the towers of the World Trade Center in New York. The class sat silently in disbelief. Later, we heard that another plane flew into the other tower of the WTC.
      This experience was frightening, but God did not want us to be afraid. The Bible is full of encouragement that applied to the events of September 11, 2001. God continually tells us not to be afraid because he sees the big picture. "...'Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed; be strong and of good courage, for thus the Lord will do to all your enemies against whom you fight' (Joshua 10:25, NIV)." God has also warned us that we will have trouble in this world. "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world (John 16:33, NIV)."
      Our nation will never be the same. Good has and will come from this tragedy. Let us never forget Who this nation stands for, and let us always be thankful for the freedom to worship Him. We must remember that God is always in control.

Obviously, I wrote this after I had had a lot of time to process the events that had happened. The things I said were true and still are. I don't believe our nation has been the same since. But that day, my emotions were raw. I spent nearly the entire school day in front of the one TV our small Christian school had in the "Cafetorium" (multipurpose cafeteria/auditorium). We started watching after the first plane hit the first tower, and so we watched LIVE while the second plane hit the second tower, the other plane hit the Pentagon, and the fourth plane crashed in Pennsylvania. That day, we had no idea that that would be the end of the planned attacks. We just knew that our nation was under attack, most likely from terrorists, and it was terrifying. For all we knew, there were many more attacks to come. For the first time in my sheltered American teenage life, I didn't feel safe. That day after school, I remember going out to dinner with my dad and my little brother to a little establishment in our small town. The restaurant was full of people, but the atmosphere was hazy and quiet. With only the news on the radio, everyone was silent in complete bewilderment.

Just today, I watched video footage of the second plane hitting the second tower of the World Trade Center. It is common footage that you can find a million times over by doing a simple search on Google or YouTube, but I hadn't seen it in years. Memories of how I felt the first time I saw it came flooding back to me. Those are the snapshots that replay in my head when I think of this day. Aside from the obvious countless lives lost, the surviving friends and family, the country at war with terrorism, and the renewed sense of patriotism, here are a few things I noticed while flipping through my high school yearbook that have changed. The New York City skyline. Airline security. Security to large public places and events (including amusement parks, tourist attractions, and sports arenas). The Sears/Willis Tower. The Internet. Facebook. The software we used to design the yearbook, Pagemaker, doesn't exist anymore; it is now called InDesign, and it's in its 5th version. There are countless more, but that's all that have come to mind just now.

The world has changed and will doubtlessly continue to change in the coming years, but of one thing I'm certain: my God is greater and more powerful than any evil in this world, and He is in control.

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"I'm pressed but not crushed; persecuted not abandoned / Struck down but not destroyed. / I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure / And his joy's gonna be my strength // Though the sorrow may last for the night / His joy comes with the morning." - Trading My Sorrows, by Darrell Evans

Gateway Church :: Membership and Volunteering

As I've mentioned many times on this blog, when we moved to Texas, we knew it was where God wanted us to be. Similarly, when we started attending Gateway Church, where my brother and sister-in-law both worked, we felt at home there. We actually didn't do any "church shopping" at all because we felt like God was telling us, "This is it; this is where I want you to be. Stay at Gateway."

Gateway is not what we're used to...at all. (I'd like to write all about the size, the children's ministry, the worship, etc., but that will have to wait for another post.) But from everything we've learned about this church, it is absolutely right where we need to be. We did our homework right from the beginning. We researched the website, and at our first opportunity, attended the first of the three membership classes, which are more like seminars, called Catch the Vision.

I'm going to be really, really descriptive for this part, just because Gateway is such a different church than we've ever attended, and we'd like to dispel any rumors or apprehension any of our family and friends might have after hearing about our involvement with this new church. That being said, if you could care less, please feel free to skip to the end to read about how I'm going to be getting involved by volunteering starting in September, hopefully.

Catch the Vision
This first class was more like a seminar, a totally low-key, informational format that allowed you to make your decision on whether to become a member either immediately or later, at your leisure. I loved that there was no pressure. We watched a video about the history of the church, and it was really awesome to see how they followed God's direction at every turn. I was especially pleased to discover the church was born out of God leading our pastor to start a church rather than a group that started after breaking away from another church after a conflict. The class provided a workbook full of information including the history, vision, mission, statement of faith, and position papers (which could also be seen as their doctrine). I eagerly read it all. We prayerfully considered our decision and became members after attending for less than a month!

The Journey
The second class, called the Journey, is a lot like a class I took in college called Core 300. It focused on your personal spiritual walk, and it explained a lot of basic theology about God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. It was a good refresher for us and confirmed again that Gateway teaches what we already believe doctrinally. There was one topic, having to do with the Holy Spirit, that was and still is a struggle for me, but in a good way. Having grown up in the church and having attended a Christian university, it is easy for me to get comfortable that I already know everything I need to know about what I believe. It's foolish to think I know everything there is to know, as I could go my whole lifetime learning and still barely scratch the surface, so I like that there are a few areas, especially, that have come to my attention in this class where I have room to grow.

Discovery
The third class, called Discovery, was also a lot like a class I took in college combined with a seminar I took in college. The first was a required course called Core 400, and the seminar, called Discovering My Design, was a several-day workshop offered to sophomores. I love personality tests and learning more about who I am and how people interact with each other. It fascinates me. Needless to say, I was looking forward to this class with much excitement. Catch the Vision had emphasized the need to get plugged in to a group, a necessity in such a large church, as well as getting involved as a volunteer. I've always believed it is important to minister and to get ministered to equally. Discovery is Gateway's way of helping you get to know yourself better in order to find the best place for you to serve...and to actually enjoy every second of it, rather than doing it out of obligation. I love this concept!

Most of the workbook could not be completed in class as there was just not enough time to cover it all, so I worked on most of it at home. The finished results were to be applied to the Servant Profile. The sections covered were:
1. Life Experiences, where you were given the opportunity to write about experiences you had whether it was something difficult, relational, achievement-related, or ministry-related that might impact where you might choose to serve. One example I used was achieving my art degree, and how I wanted to use my creative skills in some fashion in ministry.
2. Passion and Interests, where you could describe the things that you most enjoyed doing, and my examples included working with kids.
3. Personality, in which I took a version of the DISC test which is also compatible with the Gary Smalley Personality Types: Lion, Otter, Golden Retriever, and Beaver. I scored exactly how I expected: S (Golden Retriever), with an ability to pull out the I (Otter) or C (Beaver) when necessary.
4. Spiritual Gifts. A questionnaire almost identical to one I took in Core 400 in college which helped you know which God-given gifts you had, which for me included Craftsmanship (creativity), Exhortation (encouragement), and Helps/Service/Hospitality (assisting others, serving others, and making others feel comfortable).
5. Strengths/Abilities/Skills. This section dealt with your natural strengths. If you are familiar with the Strength Finder test, that is basically what this was. I scored high on Input (collecting, archiving, and traveling to learn more), Learner (enjoying learning more on a variety of topics), Relator (wanting to know a few people closely), Context (fascinated with learning from the past), and Arranger (organizing complex things).

[If you've skipped to the end, start HERE.]

After completing the Servant Profile, I was connected with someone, called a Ministry Placement Coach, whose job (as a volunteer herself) is to help others find their perfect place to volunteer. I just met with my coach for the first time today after church, and I have to say I'm so excited to get involved. She explained a few ideas where she thought I might be a good fit. She told me about the Event Administration volunteers who help to decorate for events. I'm sure my face lit up when she described it, and I told her that sounded really fun. If you've ever been to Gateway for any event, you know they go all out making it a fun environment for those in attendance. I love decorating, and I'm really excited to get to do this. I'll also probably begin working in Gateway's Amazing Kids, the kids' ministry, which has a more involved application and interview process in order to help keep the kids safe in such a large church. Ideally if I pass that process, I'll begin helping with the kids groups or in the nursery on the weekends.

After meeting with my coach, I don't have to do anything else until the ministries contact me. I love that Gateway has the volunteer ministry organized so well and that it is set up so that I have a contact person. Once I start volunteering, if I'm unhappy with my placement, all I have to do is contact my coach and she'll move me. That simplifies it a lot, and makes it a lot less awkward. (There's no going to a leader of a ministry and trying to come up with excuses for why you don't want to volunteer with them anymore.)

So that's what I have to look forward to in the next few weeks...getting involved. We're also going to get involved in a group, which I will explain more about in another post when I have more information.

Mrs. Piatt's Log. Stardate: -311347.8

So I'm a Star Trek fan. Not a closet Star Trek fan. A full-fledged, seen-almost-every-episode-of-every-show, geek-speaking fan. I don't hide this fact. I mean, my external hard drive is named The Defiant, and my flash drives are all named after runabouts. I am totally okay with my geeky-ness. I've been watching TNG* since I was probably about nine years old with my dad and my brothers. Admittedly, I used to hate it. I'd complain when my dad and brothers were watching it, but they would just tell me I could go do something else if I didn't like it. So, I sucked it up, and got sucked in as a result. Over the years, my mom has even learned to enjoy the show.

This works out perfectly because my husband is also a Trekkie. (Great, you're thinking, their future kids are doomed.) Nate watched the show Star Trek: The Next Generation religiously on TV when it first aired. We're geeks. It's true. It's one of our favorite things to watch together. Because without our geek shows, we'd have a hard time finding shows we both enjoy. Generally I like period dramas, and he prefers action/comedy. It's hard impossible to find a show that fits both of those categories! So Sci-Fi it is.

A year or two ago, we borrowed TNG* on DVD from my younger brother and watched all seven seasons. We own the subsequent movies, and we watched them as well. Then we borrowed DS9* on DVD (also seven seasons) from my dad. Now that we have discovered Star Trek: Voyager on Netflix, we are excitedly watching it. Yep. You guessed it. Seven seasons. We're currently on season four.

Anyway, after all of that useless knowledge to amuse and entertain you, I was recently struck by something one of the characters said on an episode of Voyager that I recently watched. Bear with me: it pertains to this blog entry. ;o)

One of the characters was chattering on incessantly, and the other said, "You know, you really should keep a personal log. Why bore others needlessly?"

It was meant as a humorous quip, but it really struck me. I've been reevaluating my use of social networking sites lately, and I have discovered at a time in my life when social networking is my virtual circle of friends, I probably "chatter on" too much with constant posts about unnecessary things – things only a select few care about. Sites, such as Facebook, serve their purpose and I'm thankful to have them, but I think my time is probably better spent writing in a blog. I used to journal several times a week on actual paper as well as online blogs, and at certain times in my life, I have kept daily journals, such as my trip to England and Scotland in 2005. I cherish those journals as they help me remember significant events, but more importantly to me, how I was feeling and what I was thinking at the time.

That being said, I hope to keep up on this blog a little better than I have in the past few months. No promises, but it's worth a shot. Besides, this way, if I bore others, I'll be able to say that it's my personal blog, and if they are bored, they can just stop reading. :o)

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*Common Star Trek abbreviations as follows: TOS = The Original Series, TNG = The Next Generation, DS9 = Deep Space 9, VOY = Voyager

Project 31: Day 18: Personality

Day 18.  Describe your personality.


I've described my personality many times on this blog. Let's face it, I don't have a problem writing about myself. I'm going to spare you from repetition and post a list of previous blog entries on the topic of my personality.


Empathizing with the Pain of Loss is mostly about empathy, which is part of me.
Random Bits is a much more lighthearted post about my personality than the previous one.
The Best Post EVER is a not-so-popular post about my dislike for people using superlatives when talking about people.
Project 31: Day 1 talks about what beauty means to me personally.
Project 31: Day 2 goes into detail about what I think makes me unique.


That should be enough to give you a good idea.

Project 31: Day 17: Three Things

Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
This question is hard mostly because I am having trouble coming up with only three, so forgive me for turning this into nine things.

Three things that make me happy:
1. Quality Time. Spending quality time with my husband, friends, and family. Traveling, shopping, visiting new places. Makes me feel so happy.
2. Creativity. Using my right brain for anything creative makes me happy.

3. Encouragement. Giving other people encouragement is almost more exciting for me than getting encouraged. I do like to be encouraged. I cherish every word of affirmation given to me. But giving encouragement is a much bigger blessing to me. It makes me happy.

Those are the big ones, but there are a few other categories I wanted to add, just for fun.

Three places that make me happy:
1. Mackinac Island, Michigan. The best trip Nate and I have ever taken, so far. We loved it in Mackinac. It was way too cold when we went (in May 2009), but the rich history, the lack of cars on the island, the abundance of horses, gorgeous scenery, etc. It's just beautiful and relaxing and totally up our alley. If we had the money, we'd rent a house there and visit every summer.
2. Dallas, Texas. My college friends teased me when I returned to college after the summer of 2005. I had an awesome summer. Probably the best summer I've ever had. The first month was spent in England and Scotland (see place #3). The second month was spent in Dallas, Texas with my brother. The third month was spent at camp with horses. All I talked about were Dallas, England, Scotland, and horses. They called it DESH. I loved the cultural experiences I had that summer. I really had a blast and made lots of memories. I really learned about independence that summer. And now I live in Dallas. And for now, it is a place that makes me happy.
3. England and Scotland. I went on my cross-cultural trip to England and Scotland in the summer of 2005. It was amazing. I love the truly deep history of the countries, how proud they are of their heritage, and the lovely landscapes there. And London was amazing. The most exciting city I've ever visited. With Tube (the subway) passes, we felt like we could go anywhere we wanted.

Three movies that make me happy:

1. Anne of Green Gables (and the sequel). My favorite movie of all time. Certainly not a movie for everyone, but it is near and dear to my heart. It always puts me in a good mood.

2. Tie between The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings. Both are truly epic film series filled with moral themes that are applicable spiritually. I have so much respect for the creativity of both C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. The films are long but exciting to watch and very well made. The quality is worth the length, to me.

3. The Holiday. It has pretty much everything a light-hearted, romantic comedy should have, in my opinion. The four main characters are hilarious and easy-to-relate-to and fun-to-watch. Even though it is technically a Christmas movie, I can watch it any time. Favorite scene: Jack Black and Kate Winslet in Blockbuster. Love that entire scene from Jack Black saying, "Well, hello Big Dollup" to Dustin Hoffman's cameo. It doesn't hurt that Jude Law is a looker and that he and Kate Winslett have awesome British accents.

Project 31: Day 13: Self-Improvement

Day 13. Write about something you would like to change about yourself for the better.

I'm going to do this in list form. Short and sweet.

• self-motivation

• patience

• lose approximately 20 pounds

• consistency in daily quiet time

• preparing to be a good mom (even now, before I'm even pregnant)

• being a better wife

• this list could go on and on . . .

The end.

Project 31: Day 12: Exhaustion

Day 12. Write about what wears you out as a woman.

Finances are generally a source of exhaustion-causing stress. I'm not really sure it affects women differently than men, though.

Trying to look presentable at all times can be pretty exhausting. Guys don't really care about that much. Sometimes, I couldn't care less how I look when I'm around the house or running errands. But other times, I feel the need to get dressed up and "look cute" just to go to the grocery store. As a man, my husband would never think of doing that.

Being a housewife can wear one out, but I don't know if it really wears me out that much. I enjoy doing housewife-y kinds of things. I don't LOVE to cook and clean, but I take pride in it when I do. It doesn't exhaust me. If I put pressure on myself to be the perfect housewife, yeah, that wears me out. I have been known to do that, too.

I think if I were a mom, I would have a lot more to say on this topic. I think nurturing and mothering one's kids is probably the most exhausting role of womanhood. Since I am preparing to be a nanny and am currently living with the family for whom I will be a nanny (my brother and sister-in-law), I can see that exhaustion first hand. My sister-in-law bears it well. I think the feeling of complete helplessness when a child, your child, is totally inconsolable, would wear a woman out like nothing else.

As a conclusion, I would say anytime I put pressure on myself to be perfect at something rather than just doing my best, I think that pressure wears me out.

Project 31: Day 9: Virtuous

Day 9. What virtues do you value in yourself?

Virtuous is, by definition, having or showing high moral standards. I would say I have high moral standards in some areas. I found the seven heavenly virtues (as well-known in Catholicism) to put a face to the concept of virtuousness. Though I'm not Catholic, I think it helps to have specific guidelines for this topic.

1. Chastity - I saved myself for marriage. No one has ever regretted waiting. It's totally 100% worth it.

2. Temperance - When defined as moderation or self-restraint, I would say I practice temperance in some areas better than others. I am pretty good at not parting with my money unnecessarily when it comes to shopping or eating out. I like to choose the least expensive items on the menu at restaurants. As far as abstaining from alcoholic beverage, I don't drink a whole lot, but I would be lying if I said I never drank anything alcoholic. I probably drink one drink (only one any given time) once or twice every 3 months.

3. Charity - Even though my heart is definitely in it, I am not very good about this at the moment. I used to sponsor a child in the Dominican Republic, but she "graduated" from the program and I no longer sponsor her. I'm working on this.

4. Diligence - When I was in school, my teachers always commented on my progress reports that I was very diligent. I think it's still true for the most part, though I have a bit of trouble with self-motivation and procrastination. But once I do a project, I do it well. :o)

5. Patience - "Patience is a virtue; waiting won't hurt you." Um, not a virtue that I'm good at. At all.

6. Kindness - I am probably kinder than the average Joe, but I wouldn't say it is a virtue I value in myself. I don't think you can really be too kind (with the exception of being a pushover).

7. Humility - How can you possibly value humility in yourself? If you are proud of the fact that you are humble, isn't that kind of an oxymoron?

And one of my own that I'll throw in:

Profanity - I choose not to use profane language period. I do use the occasional "what the heck" or "crap" or "fricking" which are filler/alternate profanity, but I do not allow myself to even say the actual curse words. Call me childish, but I will spell out an explicative rather than say it. I know my limits and I know that if I begin to allow myself to say it in passing conversation that I will use it rashly or out of anger. I don't want my speech to be filled with obscene things. It's just a choice I've made.

Project 31: Day 8: Beauty Secret

Day 8. Have a beauty secret (e.g. hair tip, make up tip)? Share, please!

Wow. Not really. I should not be your go-to person on anything beauty/fashion/makeup related. I'm just not an expert, and I do my own thing.

I guess if I had one tip to give, it would be: sometimes mascara is all you need. Sometimes it's all you need to make you feel gorgeous on an average, ordinary day when you're just out running errands in jeans and a t-shirt. Maybe I'll post a picture later.

Project 31: Day 6: Jaded Beauty

Day 6. Jaded beauty. Has the world's definition of beauty ever jaded you?

Not really. Ok, that's not true. But really, I don't have any dramatic stories of how I used to want to look like exactly like gorgeous celebrities in magazines and how I've overcome that. I don't have a specific story to relate. But I think as women, we all struggle with wanting to change our appearance to some degree. We aren't satisfied with the way we look. We're too heavy, too thin, too short, too tall, too light-skinned, too dark-skinned, too plain, too curvy, too flat-chested, too something. I don't know a woman of any age who doesn't want to change or improve herself physically in some way.

While sometimes that is a good thing, most of the time it's not. We put too much pressure on ourselves to change ourselves for the wrong reasons. We don't love the skin we're in. I was thinking about this while I was driving a few days ago, and I concluded that we aren't born with this view of ourselves. As small children, we couldn't care less how thin, tall, or tan we are. We play with our friends, oblivious to how their appearance compares to ours. But as we grow, we learn from our culture to start comparing ourselves to other women. And something happens that makes us want to be someone we're not.

My face is too round. My legs are too short. My ears are too small and flat. My nose turns up on the end and wiggles when I talk. My stomach is too flabby. My hips are too wide. I have weird combination skin (both dry and oily).

We all do it. The details may be different, but we all have issues with ourselves. But it takes strong encouragement from loving parents, husbands, friends, etc. to break us of this. It takes us learning to see ourselves as God's princesses and wanting to improve ourselves because we want to be more like Him, not because we compare ourselves to others and want to look like them. It has taken me a long time to learn that. I have learned to embrace the things I cannot change, or if not embrace them, ignore them. The things I can change, I have learned to improve them because it is what is best for me and not out of a desire to be someone I'm not.

Project 31: Day 5: Heart Alive

Day 5: Write a blog thanking someone who has made your heart come alive.

I cannot even read this day's title without thinking of a specific individual. I know most people will write this about their husbands or about someone else very close to them. My husband has made my heart come alive, but I did not feel as though I should write this particular blog about him. Instead, I chose someone else who has very much influenced my life. The wording "your heart come alive" instantly puts the song, "Alive" by Rebecca St. James. The following lyrics especially:

You make me come alive
I found the secret
It’s only when I let go of what I want in this life
You make me come alive

Ever since I was about 13 years old, I've been a huge fan of Rebecca St. James. Her music, devotionals, testimony, concerts, etc. have influenced me more than any others. I asked Jesus into my heart and accepted his gift of salvation at a very young age, but it wasn't until I was about 13 that I really came alive. I got baptized at 13, and my spiritual life grew by leaps and bounds. I started prayer journaling, as influenced by her, and my prayer journals are among my most precious possessions.

Though she's not someone I actually "know" or someone who will ever read this, I would like to thank Rebecca St. James for following God's path for her life. She's been singing publicly since she was 14, that's almost 20 years now. She stands for what she believes and holds to that very strongly. It is so inspiring. I wish I could go out for coffee with her sometime and chat with her about life, wedding planning (she just got engaged over Christmas), and God. She is truly an amazing woman of God.

But since I can't sit down with her personally, I will let this blog serve as my thank you. She gave me someone positive to look up to, a beautiful, talented, great role model for my young, impressionable teenage life. She helped me see that a relationship with God is really what makes your heart come alive. But it doesn't stop there. She has emphasized these points so much in the past 15 years that I should have them memorized. 1) Dig into the Bible. 2) Pray. 3) Grab all the Christian friends you can. 4) Get rid of the junk in your life. 5) Get involved in church. I did those things. I'm still doing those things. Or at least learning how to keep doing those things through all of life's twists and turns. I'm so not perfect, but I'm thankful that my Jesus is. He loves me just the way I am. He is the source of my joy and my strength. He makes me come alive. Thank you, Rebecca, for showing me that.

*These are pictures that I have taken of Rebecca and as such are my property. Please do not take them and use them for anything without asking me first. Thank you!

Project 31: Day 4: Style 31

Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.

This might not be the favorite, but it is a favorite. I got the shirt on a clearance rack for $3!!! Since I've lost a little weight, I'm glad I can wear a shirt like this without looking pregnant. :o) Oh, please ignore the background and poor quality photos. These were taken at our old house like the week before we moved.

Project 31: Day 3: Inspiration

Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?

Oh boy. I'm going to have to think long and hard about this one. This might be a stream of consciousness post, just a warning. Someone I know. I am inspired by lots of people I don't know whose blogs I read. I don't think that counts. Hmm. Inspires beauty how? Inspires me to be beautiful? Inspires beauty in those around them? Inspires you to make things that are beautiful? I could take this so many ways. I'm going to stick with inspires me to be beautiful because that seems to fit the theme best. I make a quick mental list: Nate, mom, Polly (my mother-in-law), GramE. Then I pause and wonder, just one? No. It would be a disservice to the ones I left out if I chose only one. So, with that, I am going to bend the rules a little, and write about all four of the ones I mentioned.

My husband Nate inspires me to be beautiful by the way he affirms me and tells me I look beautiful even when I don't try and especially when I don't agree. He tells me I am beautiful almost daily, and sometimes I say, "Really? Today? I haven't showered. My hair's a mess. I look terrible today." He gets so irritated with me, and rightly so. One time, he really called me out on it. "Laura, you know when I tell you that you're beautiful and then you tell me you're not, you are basically calling me a liar. Your distrust in me really makes me feel disrespected." Ouch. But he was right, so right. I have since curbed my instinct to deny his compliment. This is one of the main reasons I knew we were so meant for each other. He tells me what I need to hear when I need to hear it in a loving but straightforward manner. Never harsh or hurtful. In love. I cherish him for that. Now on days when I don't feel beautiful and he tells me I am, I force a smile and thank him. Each time, it gets easier to accept. Because of the way he shows love to me, he makes me want to be even more beautiful on the inside and out.

My mom, Linda, who is one of the strongest women I've ever known, inspires me to be as strong as she is. As with many women, she has been through more than she deserves. But I know God allowed things to happen to her because he knew she would trust him through it all and it would make her a stronger person. I love that we've become such great friends now that I'm grown. She has always told me that I'm beautiful, for as long as I can remember. My parents were very good, they still are, at encouraging me and telling me I was beautiful and talented. I knew they really believed it and weren't just telling me because they had to. I think so easily we dismiss encouragement from parents because we feel they have a moral obligation to tell us things about ourselves, even things that aren't true. What a ridiculous notion that is. There are always positive things to say about someone; there is no need to lie and tell them they are good at something when they aren't. I was never told I was a great athlete. That would have been preposterous. I'm not an athlete at all. But I have always been told how talented I am at writing and art. Those are things I love and that I am good at. My mom was and still is such a beautiful mom. When I grow up, I want to be as great a mom to my kids as she was and is to me. She has inspired me to be a beautiful mom myself someday.

My mother-in-law, Polly, is another strong influence in my life who inspires me. Though I've only known her for the past 4-5 years, I have really loved the role she has played in my life so far. I am thankful we have lived close so that I could get to know her better and spend time with her. She and Nate have a great relationship, too, which I am so thankful for. I remember once or twice she has told me, "I prayed for you." When Nate was growing up, she prayed for the woman he would some day marry. That resonates with me so strongly, that years before we would ever meet, she was praying for me. My mom was also praying for Nate. I am so thankful to have prayer as a very early base for our marriage! Polly is also a breast cancer survivor. I hope she doesn't mind me posting that for the world to see, but after thinking about it, I wanted to tell people how it has impacted me. She struggled with breast cancer before I knew her, but I have seen the look on Nate's face when he's told me stories about it. He remembers how strong she was spiritually and physically and how strong she still is now that she's cancer-free! She is a fighter for sure, and I just find that so inspiring. I hope if I am ever faced with hard challenges that she has had to face that I can take them on with the same strength and trust in God that she has. She inspires me to be a fighter no matter what. She's also an amazing cook! Nate grew up with a mom who is a fantastic cook. No, seriously. I have a lot to live up to!

My eighty-six year old grandmother has such a rich history, and I love it when she shares her wonderful stories with me. She is my last living grandparent, the only one who was able to be there for my wedding. At 5'3, she's tougher than she looks! She has had just about every non-life threatening health problem there is! She's super healthy, though. I think she takes like one pill a day besides her vitamins, which I guess is crazy for someone her age. She still lives alone in an independent retirement community in Florida where she and my grandpa moved when I was four years old. She goes on walks every day, gardens, cooks, cleans - everything she's done for as long as I've known her. I am her only granddaughter, and she has doted on me more than you could imagine! I believe my strong love of my heritage comes from her (through my mom). Since my grandpa passed away in 2003, she and I have gotten much closer. Never have I seen two people more in love than my grandparents were. They were married for 53 years before he passed away. I miss him a ton, and I can't image how much she must miss him every moment of every day. She inspires me to leave a beautiful legacy to my grandchildren someday, like she has to me.

So, sorry if I cheated a little bit. I am daily inspired by so many people - many who I do not know! I hope it inspired you in some small way to read about these people who have touched me so greatly. This post is part of a blog challenge started by She Breathes Deeply. Read more about it here or click the Project 31 picture above.

Project 31: Day 2: Unique

Day 2: What makes you uniquely you?

I'm pretty excited about this topic, posed by She Breathes Deeply. I find it super easy to write about myself and the stuff I like. My uniqueness in home decorating, fashion, art, you-name-it is split almost in half by two very different styles. They are almost as different as night and day.

Romantic

Victorian. Organic. Lace. Ruffles. Beads. Ribbon. Ornamentation. Serifs. Edwardian. Anne of Green Gables. Dresses. Pink. Roses. Picnics. Experiences. Tea. Novels. Chick flicks. Coffee shops. Bookstores. Historical fiction. Country roads. Antiques. Antique stores. Old homes. Long hair. Daydreaming. Elegance. Dogs. England. Hymns. Tradition. Royalty. Tiny, white chapels. Painting. Writing. Dancing. Walking outdoors. Gardening. Gothic architecture.

Urban

IKEA. Form follows function. Organization. Labels. Futuristic. Apple products. Clean. Purposeful. Graphic design. Cities. Travel. Star Trek. San-serifs. Etsy. T-shirts and jeans. Geometric. Non-fiction books. Efficiency. Smart design. Realistic. Practical. Modern (not to be confused with post-modern of which I am not a fan). Praise choruses. Technology. Concerts. Spontaneity. Escalators. I Am Not A Paper Cup. Online shopping. Large, mega-churches. Podcasts. Biggest Loser DVD workouts. Yoga. Appliances. Sci-Fi. Scheduled.

Nate and I got all dressed up for a fall train ride for my birthday. My sweater, pastel shirt, and cameo shout the romantic side of me pretty loudly. Those who work with him would be shocked to learn that Nate likes to dress up. He loves Fedora style hats, and I love when he wears ties!

This is also a very "us" picture taken by my dear photographer friend, Danielle. We were wandering in a downtown area of a nearby city. This is pretty obviously the urban side. Also, notice my new blog design. It's very urban and modern. We are moving to Texas in a few days, so in honor of that, the new blog is very grungy.

As far as personality type, according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I am almost exactly half introvert and half extrovert. This means I get my energy both from being with people and from being alone. Personally, I think that's pretty weird and unusual. I have not yet met anyone else like that. It's like my personality can't decide which way it wants to go. I am actually pretty thankful for this because I can relate to both introverts and extroverts.

Maybe you'd call that somewhat bi-polar or say I have a split personality. I don't know that that is true, but trust me, I've tried to choose to be all romantic or all urban stylistically. It doesn't work. Similarly, if I try to be with people ALL the time, I get really cranky. If I am alone all the time, I get really depressed. So for me, finding my uniqueness has involved allowing myself to embrace both sides of me. It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to be both and to love both. I hope to keep showing both sides of my uniqueness on the blog.

Project 31: Day 1: Beauty

So I just started following the blog She Breathes Deeply like yesterday, but I have read several of her posts and I just really like them. She's starting this new project called Project 31. I'm not going to go into detail describing it because, well, she does a great job of it herself! I decided to join and try to write one every day or as many days as I can. I've never done a blog challenge before, so we'll see how it goes!

Day 1: What does beauty mean to you?

To define beauty in my own words would be nearly impossible to do with any amount of originality, but I'll try. Beauty, as applied to people, is an outward expression of an inward condition. I also love how Peter described it (1 Peter 3:3-4): "Your beauty should not be an external one, consisting of braided hair or the wearing of gold ornaments and dresses. Instead, it should be the inner disposition of the heart, consisting in the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which God values greatly."

As an artist, I have a trained eye for external beauty. I know about the elements of design like line, color, shape, texture, etc. I also know about the principles of design including balance, unity, repetition, and the like. The elements and principles are the tools I use to define what is beautiful in nature and in art. When applied to people, especially women, it's easy to see beauty in all different shapes, colors, and textures. Think about it. Some women are curvy, and some are tall and thin. Some are dark skinned and some are pale. Some women have beautiful wrinkles, a canvas of texture, while some have beautiful soft skin. They may not embody beauty by the definition popular culture uses, but artistically, they are beautiful.

As a Christian, I have a God-given blueprint for inner beauty as well. I know about the fruits of the spirit such as love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, to name a few. The fruits are how others should see Christ in us. Obviously, it's not always the case. But it should be. It absolutely should be. A person who is beautiful on the inside is patient with her family, loves friend and foe, and is at peace mentally and physically. It's nearly impossible for everyone to display these traits all at once and all of the time.

I feel like the elements/fruits are really the defining characteristics of beauty both physically and spiritually. Isn't it true, that as cliche as it sounds, when someone is inwardly full of joy, externally they look as though they could burst with their excitement and happiness?!? And when someone is at peace, you can tell by their whole aura.

These are a few shots of me on my wedding day, two and a half years ago. Unstaged, unprompted, natural shots.

People tell me they love these two photos. I was full of joy that day. It was unmistakeable. You can't hide the fruits of the spirit. They're evident, or should be, in your daily life. A person who "speaks" them through the way she lives her life radiates beauty. It permeates her entire being. I certainly don't exhibit all of the fruits every day. There are some I'm definitely better at than others, and there are some that I have to work very hard at. Namely patience. That one's hard for me. Not every piece of I create has all or even more than one of the elements and principles in it. Similarly, some come very naturally to me while others I have to consciously work to achieve.

Every woman wants to be told she's beautiful. I'll be the first to admit I love that. I've been told it all my life by my parents and now my husband. It never gets old. Ever. But at the end of the day, I want the reason to be more than skin deep. I want to be so full of the fruits of the spirit that I radiate inner beauty. That will enhance my outer beauty more than makeup or cute outfits ever could. I want my inner beauty to be so evident that when others see my art or read my blog, they just know without being told what kind of person I am. If I could chose a legacy to leave to my future children and grandchildren, I would want it to be that I was a beautiful person, inside and out, just like the Proverbs 31 woman.