Journey to Financial Peace - Part 1

Let's start at the very beginning – a very good place to start, naturally. ;o)

Early 2000s. Financial Peace University [FPU] was offered at my then church. My concept of Dave Ramsey and FPU was that this class was for middle-aged families who had major financial difficulties, as in major credit card debt, mortgage, etc. Sort of like an AA for finances. For some reason, I just had that stereotype in my head.

2009. Nate and I decided we weren't happy with our finances. We didn't have what we considered major debt, but we just knew there were a lot of things we should be doing but weren't, such as saving for retirement, and we had no idea where to start. We got Dave Ramsey's book, "The Total Money Makeover," as a gift. We excitedly read the beginning of it, and then...stopped. Not for any reason, but I don't think we had hit enough of a "rock bottom" to feel desperate enough to change our situation. Dave Ramsey says, "you have to get mad." We definitely weren't mad at that point.

2010. Toward the second half of the year, I went through a period of unemployment. I have no idea how we managed without racking up a ton of debt. Our idea of a budget was to write down the bills that we had to pay, such as our loans, etc., and then to make sure we covered them. It was an attempt, but it certainly wasn't a very good way to go about it. So suffice it to say, we weren't budgeting at the time. Right before Christmas, I was offered a job, and we moved to Texas. You can read about all that here and here.

Early 2011. We hadn't been in Texas longer than a few weeks when we felt convicted about the fact we hadn't been tithing. It's embarrassing to admit, but we hadn't tithed faithfully pretty much ever. We put in a little here and there, but the 10% God requires as per the Bible, yeah, no. We didn't. I recently heard a statistic that 5-7% of Christians tithe. I could write a whole post about this, but I'll just say that that makes it easier to admit since we obviously weren't alone. Tithing has changed our world. It requires faith. And because of that, we have been forced to get our finances under control. It's been HARD. But God is faithful.

August 2011. Remember up there where I said we hadn't hit rock bottom? Well, in August, we did. Three weeks without work in addition to three planned (but not budgeted-for) cross-country trips? If we had been budgeting properly, we could have saved the money beforehand. But, we didn't. Because of our own lack of planning stupidity, we got ourselves into consumer credit card debt for the first time. Yeah, that one is hard to admit. Ouch. This is what Dave Ramsey calls stupid tax (the price you pay for a stupid decision). Anyway, we discovered that Financial Peace University was offered at our church, and the class had already started. BUMMER. We didn't have the money for the class materials anyway. But, we "got mad" and were determined to do something about this hole we had dug for ourselves.

September 2011. We did our first real budget in September. That process is initially so hard. To scrounge up all of the info of where every single dollar you spend goes is, well, painful. But so worth it. I can honestly look back and say it was the hardest part. We also took an Equip class at our church about what the Bible says about how to handle money. Our new way of handling our finances was definitely not perfect, but we felt encouraged. I started listening to The Dave Ramsey Show hour-long podcasts, which helped keep us motivated. We researched more about the Seven Baby Steps (which we now have memorized), and we started saving for our baby emergency fund plus cost of materials for the FPU class at our church that starts in January.

October 2011. Nate and I finally understood how the zero-based budget works and wrote out our monthly cash flow plan. Thanks to bumming materials from an old FPU kit, we started using the envelope system for groceries, eating out/date nights, personal care items, vehicle care, etc. It has helped a ton to not just use the debit card for those things. Before if we had gone over our budget by $5, I would have just said, "oh well." Now, when paying with cash, I can't do that, and it really helps us stay under our budget. At the end of the month, we finished Baby Step One: the $1,000 emergency fund plus the cost of materials for FPU! We feel so encouraged. I started listening to the 3-hour-long Dave Ramsey show at work, which continues to inspire and keep me motivated to start Baby Step Two and our debt snowball.

November 2011. We wrote our zero-based budget/monthly cash flow plan at the beginning of the month, as we will continue to do. As we are right now, we are scheduled to pay off our consumer credit card debt by the beginning of March 2012, though we would love it if we could beat that. We have budgeted for a teeny-tiny Christmas, and we will hopefully be able to scrounge up some extra income in the next few months. Nate and I are so in-sync about this, which is apparently not the case for most married couples in our situation. I am so thankful for that. Our next goals are, in this order, to pay off: our truck, my student loan, our car, and then Nate's student loan. These are based on pay-off amounts (as the interest rates are all very close to the same). Right now it looks like it will take up to two years, but then we will be finished with Baby Step Two, and we can be DEBT FREE.

You can read all about Dave Ramsey and everything he teaches on his website, but just for quick reference, the Seven Baby Steps are: 1 - $1000 emergency fund, 2 - pay off debt using the debt snowball (except the house, if applicable), 3 - build full emergency fund (3-6 months expenses), 4 - invest 15% of income in retirement, 5 - save for kids' college, 6 - pay off house, and 7 - build wealth. Since we don't have a house or kids yet, we will adjust this to fit us as recommended by Dave. Having kids and buying a house will probably fall somewhere between step 2 and step 4, depending on how quickly we can pay things off and save for other things appropriately.

I know personal finances are a very private thing for most people, and since this is the Internet, I will not share tons of details. But, Nate and I are so excited about this. We are embarrassed about the stupidity and ignorance that got us to where we were, but we don't even mind talking about it because we are on the path to get out of it. I will continue to update on our progress, probably after we start the class!

Eight Months

We've officially been in Texas for eight months now. Minus this infernal, eternal summer heat, we pretty much love it here. There are lots of people and places we miss back in Michigan, but I am constantly reminded how much we are supposed to be here right now, at this exact time in our lives. It just feels so right.

I feel like I should kind of summarize what life has been like for us these past eight months, so if you've not been keeping up with us, you'll know what we've been up to. Can I really squeeze the past eight months into one post? I'm going to try . . . and GO.

January 2011
January was basically a whole month of packing and saying goodbye. The month culminated with the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad actual trip. We drove: Nate, a huge moving truck pulling our car on a trailer, and me, our truck with our dog in the passenger seat and his dog house in the bed. The weather was awful. But we prevailed. It took us 2 and a half days (when we can normally do it in 17 hours), but we made it.

February 2011
Nate job hunted, while I spent the time getting to know the ins and outs of life with an infant, and I began working as Ellie's nanny on Valentine's Day. Ellie turned 12 weeks old that day. I was also working part time doing some graphic design for a business in Michigan via the Internet. We were living with my brother, his wife, and their baby, so it was close quarters for awhile. But, we made it work. We had our meals together and divided up the chores. It was communal living at its finest, and I have fond memories of our time together. I think it especially helped Nate and Valerie, the in-laws, get to know each other better.

March 2011
Nate found a job, actually two jobs, and began working at our church and for my brother's IT company. We found an apartment about ten minutes away from my brother's house. It was so nice to finally have a place that was ours to call home. When we weren't working, we began slowly moving our things to our apartment and out of the rental storage unit where all our worldly possessions lived while we were staying with my brother. By the end of the month, the transition was complete, and we were moved in. The biggest highlight of March, for me, was getting my first pair of glasses. I knew I would have to get my eyes tested to get my license, and I knew without glasses, that I would have failed that test. So, off to the optometrist it was. I can't believe I went so long without getting my eyes tested. But, I am pretty used to them now, and I really like the frames. I'm thankful the adjustment wasn't too difficult for me.

April 2011
Now that we finally had a permanent address, we started making the adjustment of getting our vehicles licensed and registered in the State of Texas. It was a miserable experience, to be sure. I've moved lots of times, but this was the first time I've moved out of state as a vehicle owner. We jumped through the myriad of required hoops and finally got everything taken care of by the beginning of May, I think it was. We celebrated Easter with my brother's family, which was different, but in a good way. We're so thankful to have family near us so that we don't have to celebrate holidays alone.

May 2011
After the move and all of the necessary expenses involved with becoming residents and getting settled in our new house, we didn't have much left over for our yearly anniversary trip. I always like to go somewhere, just the two of us. I love to travel, and our anniversary is just the best time of year for us to do it. Since we were new to this area, we decided the best option was to have a Staycation. The only thing I regret about it was that we didn't take more pictures! We really did have the best time together. The first day, we went to breakfast at iHOP (Nate's very favorite place to eat) and then spent the day at Six Flags, which is literally about 10 minutes from our house. That night, we enjoyed the pool and hot tub at our apartment. It was the first time we had been to the pool, and it felt like we were staying at a hotel. It was lovely. The next day, our actual anniversary, we went to the Dallas Museum of Art. I've been to lots of art museums, and this certainly wasn't the finest I'd ever been too. Still, they had ancient Egyptian pieces that Nate enjoyed seeing, and I enjoyed visiting regardless. Afterward, we went to the Hard Rock Cafe, where they had a few guitars belonging to Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top. This was significant to us, as we had just gotten hooked on the show Bones, in which Gibbons occasionally guest-stars. After dinner, we wandered over to the historic site where President Kennedy was shot. Everything was closed, but we visited the monument and walked down the street where it occurred. All in all, we enjoyed our Staycation.

June 2011
My little brother's wedding was at the beginning of the month, so we took the opportunity to head to Michigan early to visit. We spent the first few days with Nate's mom and stepdad before heading to my parents' house. It had been in the triple digits weather-wise when we had left Texas, but with the humidity in Michigan combined with the lack of air conditioning most places, it was horribly hot! A few days before the wedding, I visited an old coworker of mine who I had arranged to have cut my hair. I had been growing it out since our wedding three years prior, and I was ready to have it cut. I wanted to donate to a non-profit organization, such as Locks of Love, but I didn't want it super-short. It was the shortest I've ever had it, but it turned out awesome. Kelsey did a great job. :o) My brother's wedding festivities were amazing. I had a blast hanging out with the girls, especially Becca, my new sister-in-law, and our friend and fellow bridesmaid, Angie. This wedding will always be especially memorable to me because I got to walk with my husband, as he was a groomsman. How often does that happen? It was so fun.

July 2011
The hottest month of my life. Literally. Our area of Texas was in close-to-record-breaking heat for number of consecutive days over 100 degrees. The previous record was I think 42 (or 43?) days, set in 1980. We missed the record by a few days due to a minor storm front that passed through and dropped the temperature to the upper 90s for like a day or two. We also had extreme drought conditions as we had had very little rain. We just learned to stay inside most of the time. Since everywhere is air conditioned, it didn't seem to be so terrible. The last weekend of the month, I flew to Michigan to throw a shower and bachelorette party for my best friend, Laura. (Yes, we have the same name. Yes, we're used to it. No, it's not weird for us.) It was a small gathering, but we had a great time. We went to a Tiger's game (where it was miserably hot) and then went to Hard Rock for dinner. It was a whirlwind trip for me, but it was unforgettable.

August 2011
A few weeks later, Nate and I flew back to Michigan to attend my best friend, Laura's wedding. I spent the week with Laura while Nate went to see his parents for a few days. In the past nine years of our friendship (has it really been that long?!?!), I have come to know her family and friends. It really feels like they are an extension of my family and friends. Laura and I are like the sisters each of us never had, and I love the friendship we have worked very hard to build and maintain. It has been so worth it. I told Laura the weekend after I met Andrew (but several years before they began dating), that I wanted her to end up with a guy like Andrew. I had no idea she would actually marry him, but I am so glad she did. They are perfect for each other, and I just love that they are now Mr. and Mrs. After the wedding, we came right back to Texas to take part in Ellie's dedication at church. It was awesome to go to God in prayer, together, to ask him to bless her little life and to help us be a godly example to her. As her aunt and nanny, I was honored to be a part of it. I definitely teared up. She means so very much to me, and I constantly thank God for allowing me to be a part of her life.

That brings us to the present. Thanks for being interested in our lives. We have some new things planned for September, including me getting involved volunteering at church as well as both of us attending an Equip class (a month long topical Bible study on Wednesday nights) and joining a small group at our church. Stay tuned!

Project 31: Day 19: Comfort Food

Day 19.  Write about your favorite comfort food (we are women - we ALL have comfort food!)

I wish my comfort foods were healthy. Alas, they are not.

1. Dr. Pepper. I've said this before, and I'll say it again. I would swear off soda/pop completely if it weren't for Dr. Pepper. The only way Dr. Pepper could be improved is if they came up with a natural sugar version with fewer calories. Pepsi has experimented with this, so it must be possible. A Dr. Pepper free of artificial sugars (including high fructose corn syrup, aspartame, and sucralose [Splenda]) and not so high in calories would be a dream for me. I could do without the caffeine, though that isn't as important to me. This is the part of the show where I show you a slightly an extremely embarrassing but funny picture of me from a trip to England/Scotland, Land of Scarce Dr. Pepper, in 2005.

Call me addicted, but I am just thankful to now live in Texas, Land of ABUNDANT Dr. Pepper. It's everywhere! Seriously, if you don't live in Texas, have you ever seen Dr. Pepper machines anywhere where you live? Pepsi? Yes. Aquafina? Yes. Coke? Yes. Mt. Dew? Yes. Dr. Pepper? NEVER.

2. Snickers Peanut Butter. Have you seen this yet? I was in Target Saturday when they were giving out free samples. Snickers were already my very favorite candy bar, but the only thing that could possibly be better than Snickers would be a Snickers/Reese's Cup combo. That's exactly what this is. To die for. I'm surprised I didn't take the lady's whole stash of samples. My waistline is thankful that I didn't. At 7 g of fat per snack, they aren't even remotely low fat.


Dove Chocolates - dark chocolate - are another favorite.

3. Moose Tracks Ice Cream. I've had it in peanut butter ice cream, mint ice cream, and chocolate ice cream. It doesn't matter. I love them all. My personal favorite has to be low fat chocolate moose tracks ice cream. Same great taste with fewer fat and calories. Whenever I'm in a bad mood or grumpy, this is my first go-to snack food. Healthy? Of course not. Soothing? Oh, yes it is. I usually limit myself to ONE scoop, though, so I don't feel too guilty.

Project 31: Day 17: Three Things

Day 17. Write about 3 things that make you happy.
This question is hard mostly because I am having trouble coming up with only three, so forgive me for turning this into nine things.

Three things that make me happy:
1. Quality Time. Spending quality time with my husband, friends, and family. Traveling, shopping, visiting new places. Makes me feel so happy.
2. Creativity. Using my right brain for anything creative makes me happy.

3. Encouragement. Giving other people encouragement is almost more exciting for me than getting encouraged. I do like to be encouraged. I cherish every word of affirmation given to me. But giving encouragement is a much bigger blessing to me. It makes me happy.

Those are the big ones, but there are a few other categories I wanted to add, just for fun.

Three places that make me happy:
1. Mackinac Island, Michigan. The best trip Nate and I have ever taken, so far. We loved it in Mackinac. It was way too cold when we went (in May 2009), but the rich history, the lack of cars on the island, the abundance of horses, gorgeous scenery, etc. It's just beautiful and relaxing and totally up our alley. If we had the money, we'd rent a house there and visit every summer.
2. Dallas, Texas. My college friends teased me when I returned to college after the summer of 2005. I had an awesome summer. Probably the best summer I've ever had. The first month was spent in England and Scotland (see place #3). The second month was spent in Dallas, Texas with my brother. The third month was spent at camp with horses. All I talked about were Dallas, England, Scotland, and horses. They called it DESH. I loved the cultural experiences I had that summer. I really had a blast and made lots of memories. I really learned about independence that summer. And now I live in Dallas. And for now, it is a place that makes me happy.
3. England and Scotland. I went on my cross-cultural trip to England and Scotland in the summer of 2005. It was amazing. I love the truly deep history of the countries, how proud they are of their heritage, and the lovely landscapes there. And London was amazing. The most exciting city I've ever visited. With Tube (the subway) passes, we felt like we could go anywhere we wanted.

Three movies that make me happy:

1. Anne of Green Gables (and the sequel). My favorite movie of all time. Certainly not a movie for everyone, but it is near and dear to my heart. It always puts me in a good mood.

2. Tie between The Chronicles of Narnia and The Lord of the Rings. Both are truly epic film series filled with moral themes that are applicable spiritually. I have so much respect for the creativity of both C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. The films are long but exciting to watch and very well made. The quality is worth the length, to me.

3. The Holiday. It has pretty much everything a light-hearted, romantic comedy should have, in my opinion. The four main characters are hilarious and easy-to-relate-to and fun-to-watch. Even though it is technically a Christmas movie, I can watch it any time. Favorite scene: Jack Black and Kate Winslet in Blockbuster. Love that entire scene from Jack Black saying, "Well, hello Big Dollup" to Dustin Hoffman's cameo. It doesn't hurt that Jude Law is a looker and that he and Kate Winslett have awesome British accents.

Project 31: Day 16: Dear Ellie

Day 16.  Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.

Dear Ellie,
You turned just 11 weeks old yesterday, but I already know we are going to have a special relationship. I'm not your mama. You have a very special mama, though, and sometimes when I look at you, I know you are the spitting image of her. She has gorgeous red hair and a very genuine and infectious smile. Though I'm not your daddy, I'm your daddy's sister. You have a very special daddy, too. He was the best big brother a girl like me could ever have hoped for. He took care of me, and we were best buds. Sometimes when I look at you, I can't see anyone else but him in you. But I'm not your mama or your daddy. I'm your aunt.

Your mama asked me what I want you to call me. That's kind of a confusing topic as I am also going to be your nanny, starting on the day you turn 12 weeks old. I hope you'll eventually learn to call me Aunt Laura. Your mama came up with a baby sign for you to call me as soon as you can learn it. I don't really care what you call me when you first learn to talk. I'm sure whatever it is will melt my heart. I've never had a close relationship with any of my aunts (I've only met one of the three). Uncle Nate has two fantastic aunts who I really look up to, so maybe I can go to them for advice on how to be a good aunt. For now, I'm just going to be the best aunt I can be.

I'm not sure how long I will be your nanny. I'm not sure how long it will be until you have a baby brother or sister or a baby cousin to share my time with you. But I will always be your aunt. Always. I know I'm not your only aunt. You have some fabulous aunts on your mama's side. I hope you cherish the time you get to spend with them since for now they live so very far away. Aunt Becka, on your daddy's side, is pretty great, too, though you haven't met her yet. (She and Uncle Jonathan are getting married this summer, and you get to go meet them!) But I hope that you and I have a special relationship based on the foundation we'll have from me being your nanny as well. I am so looking forward to the times we'll spend together, much more than you can possibly imagine right now. I hope I'm able to teach you lots of new things and instill in you some lasting qualities. I don't feel qualified to teach you anything, but I believe with all my heart that God called me to move to Texas to be your nanny. I know that he doesn't call the qualified but qualifies the called. I know that concept is way over your 11-week-old head, but I pray that someday when you get to read this that you'll get it. I don't have to be "able" to be your nanny. God will give me the knowledge and skills I need. I just have to be available and faithful to be used by him.


There's one more thing I want to tell you. Among all of the important things your parents and I want to teach you, I want to be an example of beauty to you. That doesn't mean that I want to look pretty and wear fancy dresses and put on makeup every day and teach you to do the same. God made us all different on the outside, and I want you to learn to embrace your own beauty as you grow. Believe me, that is easier said than done! We're pretty sure you are going to have gorgeous red hair, just like your mama, aunts, and grammy. But whether you do or not doesn't really matter. We know you are going to be beautiful because you already are. But the part of your beauty that matters the most is your inner beauty. It's the part that is important to God. Your beauty inside shines through and makes you beautiful on the outside. When you play nice with your friends or siblings, it increases your beauty. When you obey your parents, it increases your beauty. When you talk to God, it increases your beauty. When you worship Him, it increases your beauty. I know you are too young to understand right now, but before you know it, or before I know it, rather, you will understand it all too well. I am so excited to see the beautiful baby, girl, young woman, and woman you become.


I love you, Ellie Bean.


Always,
Aunt Laura

Pre-Moving Emotions

Nate's really been taking the emotions as they come and handling them really well. As I mentioned, if I were in his shoes, I'd be a complete and utter mess. He is leaving the state and area he has known his WHOLE LIFE. I can't imagine how hard that is. Personally, I have been postponing dealing with this move emotionally. I have been too busy organizing and planning and cleaning and being practical about it that I haven't really allowed myself to really process it. Sure, I've had my semi-daily visits to Valerie and Andrew's Facebook pages to see pictures of my new charge and adorable now 8-week-old niece. Nate and I have also been immersing ourselves in everything Gateway Church, not in a cult-ish type way but just because it helps us to get excited about the awesome things we have to look forward to. Thus far, I've allowed myself to experience the exciting bits. The scary and sad bits? Not so much. I know I am going to miss people like crazy and will go through a lonely stage, but I know that the reality of the move and all of the emotions that come with it will hit me when we get to Texas. I will likely experience every emotion imaginable upon our arrival, so I guess for now I will just let myself focus on the excited bits and postpone the sob-sessions.

Not my first barbeque

This is not my first barbecue. I've moved a lot. I know what it is like to get attached to people and places and the memories of events that occurred when living in a place. I know how to say goodbye and how important it is to keep in touch or else lose the friends you had (pre-Facebook, of course) but how you and the friends with which you do stay in touch can reunite and feel like no time has been lost at all. I have felt the pain of being, in essence, ripped away from your seemingly amazing life, being transplanted, and having to start all over again building new friendships, moving into a new house, new school, and new town. I've done all that. Not to say that it's always been easy. At times it really was easy, but other times it has been so, so hard. This move is falling somewhere in the middle, but it's so different than all of the past moves.

How many times have you moved, Laura?

Well I'm glad you asked.

1. 6 months. From IA to IN. I don't remember that at all, obviously.

2. 4 years. From IN to MN. Barely remember it.

3. 13 years. From MN to IN. I was so excited about this move.

4. 17 years. From IN to MI. I HATED this move in every imaginable way.

5. 24 years. From Jackson, MI to Coldwater, MI. I was very excited about this move.

6. 27 years. From Coldwater, MI to Dallas, TX. Oh boy.

In case you weren't counting, this will be my sixth move. Not that you should feel sorry for me and not that I'm bragging (because neither is the case). You should just know that my dad is/was a pastor and that should explain a few things. If not, it's a topic for another post anyway.

As for Nate, this is his first move. He's never been gone from Coldwater for longer than a semester or a summer, pretty much since he was born. I'm not suggesting that moving a lot is better than never moving. It's just different. Very different. I think it sometimes makes it impossible very difficult for us to understand each other. But, as with most topics and things about our personalities, I think it's just another way we complement each other.

As we were driving down the main drag in Coldwater today, I said to Nate, "I really cannot imagine what it must be like to have lived in a place ALL your life." I honestly can't even fathom it. I mean to see a parking space where you first practiced parallel parking and the spot where you used to sit to watch parades as a child in the same town. To have attended the same church all your life. To have gone to the same dentist since you had baby teeth and drive by the hospital where your mom has worked for as long as you can remember. It blows my mind. If I were Nate, I'd be so emotionally wrapped up in the town that I'm not sure I would ever want to move.

Conversely, Nate has a horrible time figuring out and remembering where I lived when. I learned to parallel park in southern Indiana and watched parades in Minnesota. As for churches I've called "home", I lost count at 14. (Yeah, I'm not really sure if I am proud or embarrassed about that). I've been to five different dentists (not including orthodontists) and my mom has had more totally different teaching jobs in totally different towns and cities than I can even describe to you right now. It must be so odd for Nate to try to wrap his mind around the various stages and locations of my life, but somehow, he does. I love that he tries. That means so much to me.

But I am so glad that this is our first move together. I mean we moved into this house in Michigan separately, him about six months before our wedding and me when we got married. Now that we are moving to Texas, I love that I can draw on him for strength and stability but that he has my experience from living in a wide variety of places already. Gag if you want to, but we're a great match.

The Miss List

I'm going to miss:

:: Meijer-brand low fat Chocolate Moose Tracks Ice Cream.

:: Our fenced-in backyard.

:: Los Tres Amigos.

:: The lake.

:: Living across the driveway from Nate's grandpa, Joe Ferry.

:: Being 15 minutes from Nate's parents and 1 hour from my parents.

:: Somerset Beach Campground.

:: No water or sewer bill. (We have a well and septic system.)

:: Really, really inexpensive rent.

:: Belle Tire. (We have free tire rotation, balancing, and alignment checks. Come to find out Belle Tire is only in Michigan and Ohio. FAIL.)

:: My parents. Nate's parents. Jonathan & Rebecca.

:: Allen Antique Malls.

Things I'm NOT going to miss:

:: The snow. (I'm sure I will eventually miss it, but it's going to take a long, long, long time.)

:: Not having a garage.

:: My husband's two-hour daily commute. (It's one hour each way.)

:: Being 40 miles away from the nearest Target, farmers' markets, and the like.

:: The incredibly HARD water.

:: Did I mention the cold and snow?

:: The ginormous tree growing over our house. During every thunderstorm, I'm afraid it is going to come crashing down on us.

:: Andrew & Valerie. My niece, Ellie.

:: Small town newspapers.

:: Fireworks going off randomly throughout the year and scaring my dog half to death.

:: My tiny kitchen and lack of a dishwasher.

Texas: The Story

Chapter 1: Yes, Texas

“Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” -Fredrick Wilcox

About two weeks ago, I was offered a job to be a full time nanny for my niece Elanor Grace Wills in the Dallas/Fort Worth area in Texas. Through much prayer and consideration, Nate and I feel very strongly that God is calling us to move to Texas. For more information on the events that brought us to this decision, please read my blog entry Texas: The Prequel. Nate currently has a few job prospects but nothing specific. Here are some of the reasons we are saying "Yes" to Texas.

We need a fresh start. I pretty much covered that in Texas: The Prequel, but Nate and I feel like we've been in a rut for almost three years. It isn't getting better. Nate currently has a full-time job he really enjoys. We met at Somerset, and we love the people there. But the commute is an hour each way, and we can't afford to move closer. While it's true I just got hired to a new job, it isn't exactly what I want either. I was and still am excited about that job, but I am pretty sure I will still be able to work for the company from home from Texas rather than from home from Michigan. I don't see it being a problem. If it works, it will in effect double my income. We are trusting that God will provide a job for Nathan after our arrival.

Texas' economy is not Michigan's economy. That is really important for Michiganders to remember. When driving around an average town or city in Michigan, it is not uncommon to see strip malls with shop vacancies. Unemployment is not uncommon in Michigan. In Texas, finding a job is not so difficult, and businesses are continually booming. "Texas is kind of a red state," as Valerie so eloquently put it. Michigan is, well, very blue. (Okay, that's not true. Michigan is red except for Detroit and Grand Rapids and Battle Creek and Lansing. Those cities make Michigan blue. Anyway, I digress.) While I am not attributing the economies wholly to the states' respective political persuasions, I do think they are a major factor. Texas does not have state income tax. Michigan does. Property tax is higher in Texas and sales tax is a percent or two higher, but if you cannot afford to own property, you basically get a tax break. I think that is a huge incentive to poorer people. Jobs are much easier to come-by in Texas, which makes moving without Nathan being employed a lot less scary. While it's sad that Michigan's economy is so bad, we have to do what is best for us and our family, not what is best for Michigan.

No daycare for Ellie. This one was a huge factor. My mom (and lots of others as well) has been worried about Ellie going to daycare. Not that daycare centers are evil or, as a rule, force a child to grow up without guidance from his or her parents, but my mom feels (and I agree) that being a stay-at-home parent in order to be able to raise one's own children is really important if it is feasible. When she heard that Valerie was going back to work, I think her heart sank a little. She so wanted to live closer to be able to watch her grandbaby. I'm sure Ellie's other relatives felt the same way. But the timing was just not right for them. It just felt SO right for me. I could watch Ellie when Andrew and Valerie were at work, and she wouldn't have to go to daycare. This would answer a lot of people's prayers. I really feel so, so humbled that they trust me so much to ask me to watch their child on a daily basis, and I'm thrilled that I will be able to get to know her and watch her grow.

Everything's bigger in Texas. Even the cities. But really, it's pretty exciting. Name a restaurant or business you've ever heard of, and they probably have one. Or ten. In Coldwater, we live about 40 miles from the nearest Target. In Dallas, there are about 10 Targets within 20 miles, even Super Targets with grocery departments (not that I would EVER grocery shop in Target...too expensive). Sonic. Chick-fil-A. Kroger. The only thing they don't have that I know I will miss is Meijer. And Belle Tire.

And some more minor reasons:

Friendly Southerners.

Gas is MUCH cheaper. It doesn't stay so freaking cold all winter. Closer to my brother and his family and having their help in getting settled.

If you know Nate and me, you know that Nate is not much of a risk-taker, and I'm not really that independent though I am a bit of a dreamer. If this was our own doing, trust me, we would not be moving to Texas. There are just too many potential risks involved, and it's just kind of scary. But believe me when I say that this is God. It totally is. When I think about that and about Ellie, I just get so excited. Do we really want to live in Texas? Honestly? No, not really. But I just can't see myself doing anything else. I can't imagine saying "no" to forty hours a week with my niece. And Nate feels the same way. We are definitely unsure as to what God has for him, but we are trusting and praying that even now, God is causing things to happen that will present the best job Nate could ever wish for.

Chapter 2: Skepticism Takes Its Toll

"Now I'm fearless with nothing left to hide / All the doubts of yesterday, love has driven them away" - Fearless, dcTalk

How can they afford to hire you?

We've gotten this question a lot. Andrew and Valerie have budgeted in the cost of putting Ellie in an average daycare. It's not cheap. But, if they can afford daycare, they can afford to hire me instead. I don't know about you, but it seems pretty simple to me.

Moving is expensive. How can you afford to move? Well, God's got it covered. While that should appease most of those who have asked us these questions, the practical side of them just needs to know. Andrew and Valerie are helping. We will stay with them for the first month or so, which will help us find a great place to live and will save us money. In reality, I'm not really sure how we can afford not to move.

But childcare isn't your degree nor your passion. Aha! You are correct and also incorrect at the same time. One of the very biggest reasons why I chose graphic design is because I knew I could do it from home. (Another reason is the "undo" button, but that's a story for another time.) I wanted to be a wife and a mom more than most anything. I love graphic design. I really do. Sometimes it's stressful, but I'm good at it and I just love doing it. But family is so important to me. I wanted to choose a career that I could do from home like my mom did with me. She sold Tupperware and ran a daycare so that she could stay home with us, though her degree is education. I am so thankful she did that, and I want to do it too but in my own way. Childcare is important to me, and I'll gain so much experience watching Ellie (and ideally future Baby Wills children) until and maybe even while I watch my own children. But I can also pursue a career I am passionate about at the same time. There is no better arrangement, in my opinion, which is why I can't even imagine saying "no" to this opportunity.

And just so you know, if it works out the way I hope it will, it means double-pay.

What's Nate going to do?

So while we are moving without a job for Nathan, we are pretty certain he'll get one within a few weeks of our arrival. Andrew could not offer Nate a job, but he has enough faith in Nate as a hard worker and good employee that he can convince the right people to consider Nate for a job at Gateway Church.

Maybe Nate will get hired, maybe not. Maybe we'll end up loving Gateway Church, and maybe we'll find somewhere else we'd rather attend. With as frightening as it is for us to move without him having a job (or insurance), we are remarkably calm about it. I guess with faith in God, it isn't so remarkable that God would ease our fears about this.

When are you moving? I can't believe I haven't mentioned this yet. Our departure date: January 25, 2011.

We chose this date so we'll have a few weeks to look for a place to live and find Nate a job and also because it's after Nate's birthday. It was important to us to be here to spend Nate's 28th birthday with Nate's mom.

Nate's official last day of work is January 15, so that we have time to pack our things. My first day of work is February 14, the day Ellie turns 12 weeks old.

Are you taking both your vehicles and all your stuff right away? Yes. While it's true that we will be back to Michigan at least twice between January and September, it is important to us to try to take everything in one trip. We don't want to continue to take advantage of free storage at our parents' houses. I feel like we have a ton of stuff, too much stuff for a couple with no kids. But, that stuff includes a whole second set of bedroom furniture that we have inherited for when we do have kids. I'd rather take it with us now than try to move it later or rather than have to buy new furniture when the time comes. We will have to store our stuff for at least a month but hopefully not a whole lot longer than that. Trying to wait to take it when we come for Jonathan and Rebecca's wedding in June just wouldn't really be feasible. I think my mom will be thankful to be rid of the rest of my stuff, anyway. Also, if we didn't take both vehicles, Nate and I would probably have a difficult time getting to work as we are not likely to be able to commute together like the arrangement we had when I worked in Jonesville.

Chapter 3: Moving and Not Looking Back

"The hardest part of moving forward is not looking back." - Felicity

I believe that quote with all my heart. It's so easy to doubt a decision you make once you've made it. Skepticism creeps in so easily. Nate's mom, Polly, told us about the December 25, 2010 (yes, that's Christmas Day) entry in Our Daily Bread, the famous daily devotional. It amazes me that a message so poignant would be on just the perfect day. Please take a minute to read it here. It's really short, I promise. :o) I especially love the quote they included from Oswald Chambers, "

Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading."

Also, Pastor Robert of Gateway Church said something the weekend we were in Texas that really hit home to us, "I know some of you are going through difficult times, but God would like to birth a miracle in your situation–in your Bethlehem–He wants to birth a miracle in the problems you have right now." I feel like He really did.

I hope you will continue to read our blog and to follow us on our journey as we start this adventure in Texas. We will miss all our friends, family, and colleagues in Michigan more than they will ever know, but we know that we are doing the right thing for our lives.

Texas: The Prequel

This story feels so long to me that it feels like I'm writing a book series. So I'm just going to use novel terminology. Bear with me. Or don't. You can skip to the end if you want. :o)

Chapter 1: The Smallest One

"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." - Galadriel, Lord of the Rings

Several months ago, some time in May, I received a phone call from my brother. After several minutes of small talk, he eventually asked me if I would design a mural for him. It was an out-of-the-blue request, even coming from him, but it was also his creative, roundabout way of telling me they were going to have a baby. Of course, I squealed with delight just bursting for them to make it public on Facebook so I could feel free to tell all my friends that I was going to be an aunt. (I have 3 nieces and 2 nephews, who are children of Nate's stepsister. I love them dearly and wish I could spend more time with them, but somehow it's different that my brother is starting a family.)

Fast forward a few months to my forced parting with my former place of employment. (Read about it here.) Also, I filed for unemployment with the stupid State of Michigan, who can't make up their minds what they are going to do. I qualified, didn't qualify, they filed my claim with the wrong business, they wrote me a letter saying they had erred, and then told me I qualified again. It's been ridiculously frustrating. After almost four months of dealing with them, I still haven't received one single check. Coincidentally, my brother is still receiving bills that he hasn't paid MI income tax for me working for him, though he ceased employing me July 2009. You'd think being one of the states with the worst economies, probably the worst, that they would be more careful about sort of thing if for no other reason than out of necessity. So no thanks to the State of Michigan, things were looking grim for us, financially. I did end up going with my mom to Texas, to paint the mural in August (just after I quit my job), but I didn't see how I was going to be able to afford to visit again after the baby was born.

Well, with Baby Wills (gender unknown) being due the first week of December, the Wills family decided to travel to Texas for Christmas. Nate and I spend every other Christmas with my family and then with his family on the alternating years. This year was our year to spend it with his family, and even with a new niece/nephew coming, it was important to me to honor that. There was going to be no way we could go. I was now out of a job, and finances were going to be super-tight for Christmas. Well, Nate and I talked about it a lot. I wanted to go meet my niece/nephew more than anything. We budgeted the cost of the trip, factored in Nate's unused week of paid vacation, and with a little extra help from Christmas gift money received early, we planned to go to Texas for a week. It worked because we planned to be back in time for Christmas to spend the holiday with his family.

It turned out that Baby Wills, Elanor Grace (named after her maternal great-great- grandmother Elnora and her paternal great-grandmother Grace Arlene, and spelled Elanor after Samwise Gamgee's daughter in the Lord of the Rings), was born two weeks early: November 22, 2010. This worked out beautifully for us, as had she been born on her due date, her grandmother (Valerie's mom) would have been staying with them, and we would have had to pay for a hotel room for a few nights. As it happened, Valerie's mom came early and left before we arrived. That was a huge blessing for us.

It was absolutely wonderful to see my brother, sister-in-law, and Baby Ellie. See pictures here. She was so tiny and so precious. She pretty much stole my heart before she was even born, but when I met her, words can't even describe the joy I felt holding her. I mean, she isn't my child, but I just felt this huge love for her. We had a very enjoyable trip and a wonderful Christmas. We enjoyed the warm weather and relaxed. But I would be remiss if I said that's all that happened.

Chapter 2: Our Position

"There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because his conscience tells him it is right...." - Martin Luther

During our recent trip to Texas, our lives were forever changed. That sounds cliche, but really, they were. I have to be honest. Really honest. Times have been tough – very tough for us. It's not an unusual story for a newlywed couple living in the State of Michigan. We have college loans and vehicle loans that aren't going to disappear on their own (but I'm proud to say we have ZERO credit card debit...and always will). And we want to start a family someday...but as each day, week, and month passes, we are in no way closer to being financially ready for that.

[PAUSE FOR RANT]

Okay, so I've been told more times than I can count that if we are waiting to be financially stable before we start a family that we will be waiting forever. While I understand what these information-bearers mean by this, I cannot agree that it applies to us right now. Of course it takes a huge amount of money to raise a child, but I don't think people seriously understand how important it is for us to do so after we are mostly out of debt, not while we are wallowing in it. Besides that, we're fairly sure we want to have our future child(ren) in a birthing center and not a hospital. Most insurance companies do not cover births in birthing centers, which means we would have to come up with the money ourselves. I am not really willing to sacrifice that desire just because it costs more money than the alternative. I am willing to wait until we have a more secure financial situation.

[END RANT]

Nate and I just felt stuck. When we got married, we thought we would be able to rent our current house (from family) for a few years and be able to start saving up money to afford a deposit on our own home. Two and a half years later, we are in the same situation we were in when we got married...no closer to having even a penny extra for a house downpayment. We so looked forward to our week in Texas to just get away from everything for awhile. In fact, we actually asked for Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University for Christmas. There are a people who have a lot more debt than we do, but then they probably make a lot more money than we do, too. We are thankful for what we have, but we so desire to be in a position of financial peace.

Chapter 3: The Smallest Decisions

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can pretty much change your life forever." - Felicity

As do many married couples, Andrew and Valerie have this awesome tradition of going on dates weekly with each other. Nate and I do as well. On our second day there, they asked if we would babysit Ellie for an hour or two so they could go out for dinner. We promptly agreed. Ellie was a bit fussy that night. Nate and I had an awkward time managing her and trying to get dinner around for ourselves. Looking back, it's actually kind of funny. At some point in the evening, probably after we finally got her bottle heated up, I said to Nate, "Wouldn't it be great if we lived closer so we could babysit her all the time?" We both kind of laughed about it.

Then Andrew and Valerie came home. I finally got Ellie to sleep and was holding her when they sat down and asked if they could talk to us. They told us that they felt really strongly that Valerie should return to work after her 12 weeks of maternity leave. Valerie absolutely loves her job - it's her calling, and she's very good at it. They had been praying for a long, long time about what to do with Ellie when the maternity leave was up. They felt God was telling them that Valerie should go back to work, but to not worry about what to do with Ellie. They looked at several daycare centers, but nothing felt "right." While they were out at dinner, they talked it over and it occurred to them, what about Laura? They knew a lot about our financial situation, and it just dawned on them that they should hire me to provide full time care for Ellie. They offered me a job paying equal to the job I just got hired for and sort of just started in Quincy.

Nate and I were shocked. Of course, Andrew has been bugging me for years to move near him...to Texas. Since we were teenagers, we decided we wanted to live within close proximity to one another so that our kids could grow up knowing their aunts and uncles. We sort of wished we'd had that in our own lives, but we never really had the chance to know my dad's siblings very well and my mom is an only child. But Texas?

Chapter 4: Our Reactions: But Texas?!?

"Things happen to us, but it's our reactions that matter." -Felicity

It's too hot in Texas. I like seasons and I like snow (for brief amounts of time) and I don't like 115 degrees in the summer!

They live in a suburb of Dallas, and I don't like HUGE cities. I like medium-sized cities that have a small town atmosphere while still having a variety of stores and activities and culture like the big cities. Dallas is the 9th largest city in the United States. It's the third largest city in Texas, after Houston and San Antonio. If you combine Dallas and Fort Worth, which really are twin cities, they create the 5th largest city in the United States, right under New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston. So, it's a crazy-big city!

Texas is too far from our families. We want to live within a reasonable day of driving from our families and from anywhere we would ever want to drive. For us, that's mid-central-eastern US. We like Tennessee, Kentucky, and North Carolina, for starters. They have the climate and the driving distance we really want. You can get just about anywhere (besides out West) in 8-10 hours. Dallas is NOT any 8-10 hour drive. It's 18-19 hours!

The traffic. I really don't think that needs any explanation.

But even with all of those strikes against it, Andrew asked us to prayerfully consider it but asked us to give them our answer before we went home to Michigan. We agreed. Through the course of my life, I have told God many times that I'll go wherever He wants me to go, whether it is my ideal place or not. Afterall, I moved to Michigan 9 and a half years ago with a similar mindset as I now have about Texas. I knew that this could be no different. If God wanted us to move to Texas, we'd move. If not, we'd stay in Michigan. So with that, Nate and I began praying. We went out for lunch the next day to discuss our options. For several days, we prayed and talked and weighed our options. We were nervously excited that we were even considering such a move.

We attended two services at Andrew and Valerie's church, Gateway Church, in Southlake (another suburb of Dallas), Texas. I was pleasantly surprised at how apparent it was that God was using this church in a major way. I was definitely skeptical as megachurches have a reputation for being impersonal and lacking spiritual depth. This was not so! Sometime over the course of the weekend, we felt very strongly that this was where God wanted us to be. When we pictured ourselves living in Texas, it just felt so right. Never have I felt so strongly that God was asking me to do something (well, besides quitting my job), as I did over those few days. Nate and I were in 100% agreement. He was maybe even more sure about it than I was when we came to the decision. The only thing that was holding me back even at the very end was that Nate didn't have a job. While I was all for embarking on an exciting adventure, the practical side of me was telling me how risky this was...to move without us both having a job.

But I knew that was the faith aspect of this decision, while we initially had all of those strikes against moving to Texas, all of the signs were pointing to YES, TEXAS.