2011 Nostalgia

So tonight, I just watched my almost-thirteen-months-old niece, Ellie, for the last time in 2011. My husband would say phrasing it that way is a bit dramatic, and he's right, but right now, it just fits since I'm feeling a little nostalgic about the past year. Our lives are competely different than they were this time last year. See, it's kind of ironic since this week last year (Christmas 2010), I was just meeting my almost-one-month-old niece for the very first time. Some words I wrote after the experience, "She pretty much stole my heart before she was even born, but when I met her, words can't even describe the joy I felt holding her. I mean, she isn't my child, but I just felt this huge love for her." And that was before I spent a year almost forty hours a week with her. And that same week, Nate and I made the major life-changing decision to move to Texas so that I could be her nanny. (You can read that novel here and here. I warn you, I do not exaggerate when I say it's pretty much a novel.) And now, I can look back on the past year and honestly say we have been so blessed.

Nate has two jobs that he really, really enjoys. Right now, he is really praying for God's direction in his career because he really just wants to find something he knows he is supposed to do for the next thirty years. I feel pretty confident right now that one of the two places where he works will turn into that for him, but if not, I'm so proud of him and I know he will do whatever God wants him to do. People at his past jobs and even now at his current jobs always come up to me and tell me how much they appreciate him for how hard he works and how invested he is in doing whatever it is well. I can't adequately tell you what that does for my heart. I know what kind of man he is, but to hear it from others just brings such joy to me. It just affirms that I married the perfect man for me.

As for my employment, I have spent more time with Ellie than anyone save her parents, and when she isn't crabby, overtired, or teething (and I'm not crabby, tired, or feeling sick), I cherish pretty much every moment I have with her. I talk to her all the time. I explain things to her that there is no earthly way she can currently understand, but she listens to my voice anyway. We play and giggle and talk. We have conversations, but a lot of the time I invent what it is that she is saying since I can't understand most of her babble. I read her stories. I tell her how to be gentle when she pets the doggies (mostly my dog, Apollo, since he's the only indoor pet she interacts with regularly). I taught her that the Christmas tree is pretty, and that we can look but we can't touch. Every time I say that to her, she looks over at me and shakes her head "no". She understands more than we give her credit for, I know. She is sort of potty-training as she knows when she is wet and tells us "diaper" when she is ready to be changed. Her little voice is so sweet. I thank her for being obedient when she does what I ask, and I praise her for being a good girl even when she isn't asked. She generally claps for herself when she does something right....haha. She loves to share her toys and her food. I love all of these little moments with her. I pray I can be a good influence on her. This job isn't what I went to school for, but it is almost like practice for being a mom someday. I've wanted to be a mommy since I was four years old, so I'm so totally okay with this. I will pursue my graphic design business on the side and hopefully grow it slowly. Right now, I'm not in a hurry.

So, I have the next two weeks off to be with my husband on a road trip over Christmas which is a strange but wonderful story in and of itself, and God is continuing to bless us. That's such a common little catch phrase, but it's true and in ways I can't wait to write about. I will write another blog about the road trip and yet another about how God has blessed us. Two thousand eleven has been such a full year!

...leave to thy God to order and provide...

I often have a hard time with things not going as planned. Not that I consider myself to be a complete planner, but I would rather have a Plan A and be flexible with it than no plan at all. For example, my days off. When I have a day off, completely unscheduled, I get exactly NOTHING done. I stay in lounge clothes. I don't necessarily shower, and sometimes I forget to eat. It's sad, but it's true. I don't get the house clean or the grocery shopping done, unless I planned to do that.

So I generally run with a limited outline in my head of what the next few weeks, months, and years will or should look like. I probably should keep a day planner, but since graduating from college, I don't. Anyway, it generally helps because I like having goals. Goals are great. But, many times I try to make plans involving people or things outside of my control, things I never should have planned in the first place. And then when they don't turn out the way I expected, I just do not handle it well. At all. It's like I set myself up for disappointment.

I know better than to be this way. There are lots of verses in the Bible that remind me not to try to be in charge, but Proverbs 3:5-6 pretty much says it all.

Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, And lean not on your own understanding; 6 In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths.

I know these verses very well. I memorized them in elementary school. But I still need reminders. Because sometimes I read a Bible verse and think, yeah, yeah, I know that I should do ____. But sometimes the concepts are abstract, like trust. Your own understanding. Acknowledge Him. And if I don't take the time to absorb it, I move on because I didn't listen to what God was saying to me or even to apply it to my life. Maybe it's just me, but music (especially hymns) speaks into my life so often and gives me the reminders I so often need. For example, I'll be doing something like checking Facebook and listening to my hymn station on Pandora in the background, and bam! A phrase will just hit me.

I love the song, Be Still My Soul anyway, but the line "leave to thy God to order and provide" has never jumped out at me before. In the middle of a time when my plans were not occurring in the order I wanted them to and also when I knew I couldn't provide for some of my own needs, I heard this line of this song in a whole new way. I can plan and set goals and make lists and budget, but God is ultimately the one who orders my days and provides all of my needs and my wants even before I know what they are.

 

This image is now my desktop background, so I have constant reminders that it's okay to set goals but I need to allow God to micromanage my life.

Hanukkah!

So last night, Nate and I took our niece to a Hanukkah service and party at our church. I should preface by saying that our church has a large-ish Messianic Jewish ministry, which means they minister to Jews who believe in Jesus as the Messiah. They meet about once a month on the first Friday evening of the month, which I believe is when the Sabbath technically starts (at sundown). We have been to a service before, as it is open to anyone who wants to attend and is not limited to Jewish people only. Since I've never been to a service at a Jewish synagogue, I can't say with any degree of certainty, but I would imagine this service is a cross between our regular weekend services and a traditional Jewish service.

I love experiencing new and different things as often as I can, so going to a Messianic Jewish service was an awesome cultural experience for me. A few interesting things to mention:

• They read from the Torah in Hebrew and then again translated into English.
• They do not write out God or Lord as, in Jewish tradition, God's name is considered so holy and revered that it's too holy to try to spell or write on paper. Instead, they write G-d and L-rd.
• They sing songs in Hebrew (I think?) and in English. We sang the famous song (in the movie/musical "Fiddler on the Roof") Hava Nagila as well as others. The song that got stuck in our heads the most is "Shema Yisrael" which means "Hear O Israel" and the rest of the song translates to "the Lord, our God, the Lord is one."
• There is a group who does traditional Jewish dances during the worship part of the service, which is soooo awesome.

So they explained Hanukkah to us, which I am going to sum up to the best of my knowledge. If this is totally off, please don't be offended. This is my blog and not a history paper, so I'm not going to do a ton of research for this. I am leaving out a lot of what I'm sure are important details, so if you are curious, look it up. :o)

Basically in the time between Malachi and the Gospels, there was a really bad king who forced the Jews to worship the Greek gods in the Temple and to slaughter pigs on the altar, which is obviously a huge afront to how the Jews were to worship the One Living God as per the Law in the Old Testament. One man rose up in rebellion and started a revolution that overthrew the Empire of this bad king. They rededicated the Temple to God. During the uprising, they only had enough oil to last one day, but it is believed that God made the oil last for eight days instead of one. The Menorah is a symbol of God's constant protection and provision for his people, Israel. I believe this is recorded in Maccabees, but since that isn't in our canon and I'm too lazy to look it up, I wouldn't know for sure.

Anyway, before attending this service, I had a very limited knowledge of what Hanukkah actually is. I knew what the Menorah was and the Dreidl, but as for their meanings, I had no idea. At the end of the service, the pastor of Jewish ministries, said this, "You can basically sum up all Jewish holidays like this: They hated us and tried to kill us. We fought back. We won. Let's eat!"

We laughed so hard. Love it. After the service, we went to the party. They served some traditional Hanukkah food, which is predominantly fried to remind us of the miracle of the oil. They did some more dancing to teach anyone who wanted to learn. There were photobooths, music, driedl games and the chocolate coins all throughout, and festive decorations. So much fun. The only thing I didn't like is that there were too many people for the size of the room! My niece, Ellie, loved the driedl! It was such a good experience, and I would recommend something like it to anyone who is curious about Hanukkah.