My husband is leaving in seven hours and thirty-two minutes. For two weeks. Ten days, to be more precise, but for all practical purposes, two weeks. He'll come home for four days and then leave again. And this 10 days gone, 4 days home, 10 days gone, 4 days home, 10 days gone cycle will continue pretty much indefinitely. And I support him and our decision to do this 100%, but that doesn't make saying goodbye much easier. I usually don't like to post my raw, unedited, emotional thoughts on my blog, but today, it just seems the right way to express my current feelings.
I know I should feel blessed that my husband has a job, a very good job, that so far he really enjoys. I know I should feel thankful that I am married to a hard-working man who is so committed to providing for us. I know I should be glad he isn't in the military and that we won't be separated for months on end. I know I should be reminding myself that this is temporary. I know I should appreciate these things, and I do. I really do.
But right now, it hurts. Right now, I don't care if I sound like a big, whiny baby. I don't want him to be gone for two weeks, and I don't want to be alone. I don't want to be away from him for even one night. I know what it's like when half of me is in another state in a hotel and I'm...here. I know my identity is not so tied to him that I'm not my own person, but being separated still feels...wrong. And I hate it.
We will be okay. Rest assured. I know the absence will make our hearts grow fonder, and I know we can see each other via FaceTime almost every night...which will be the best part of our days. I will keep reminding myself that this is temporary. He won't be doing this traveling gig forever. Our best estimate is that he'll be doing it for two years. And having an end date (no matter how accurate it is) totally helps. Because if I thought for a second that he would be gone every two weeks for the next thirty years, I would not be able to let him go.
We can do this. I can do this. My days will be busy and full of spending time caring for my niece. Some will fly and others will drag. I will feel independent and bold some days and timid and scared on other days. I will have girls' nights and my Financial Peace class. I will have Pinterest and movies and crafting and blogging and designing. I will have church and Jesus.
But it will still be hard.
I'm not ready, and I never will be. But I will be okay.
____________________________________________
"I lift up my eyes to the mountains – where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip – he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord watches over you – the Lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord will keep you from all harm – he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." - Psalm 121:1-2 NIV (emphasis added by me)
I lift my eyes up unto the mountains
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from You, Maker of Heaven
Creator of the Earth
Oh how I need You, Lord
You are my only hope
You're my only prayer
So I will wait for You
To come and rescue me
Come and give me life
– "I Lift My Eyes Up", Strong Tower, Kutless
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Friday, November 18, 2011
Journey to Financial Peace - Part 1
Let's start at the very beginning – a very good place to start, naturally. ;o)
Early 2000s. Financial Peace University [FPU] was offered at my then church. My concept of Dave Ramsey and FPU was that this class was for middle-aged families who had major financial difficulties, as in major credit card debt, mortgage, etc. Sort of like an AA for finances. For some reason, I just had that stereotype in my head.
2009. Nate and I decided we weren't happy with our finances. We didn't have what we considered major debt, but we just knew there were a lot of things we should be doing but weren't, such as saving for retirement, and we had no idea where to start. We got Dave Ramsey's book, "The Total Money Makeover," as a gift. We excitedly read the beginning of it, and then...stopped. Not for any reason, but I don't think we had hit enough of a "rock bottom" to feel desperate enough to change our situation. Dave Ramsey says, "you have to get mad." We definitely weren't mad at that point.
2010. Toward the second half of the year, I went through a period of unemployment. I have no idea how we managed without racking up a ton of debt. Our idea of a budget was to write down the bills that we had to pay, such as our loans, etc., and then to make sure we covered them. It was an attempt, but it certainly wasn't a very good way to go about it. So suffice it to say, we weren't budgeting at the time. Right before Christmas, I was offered a job, and we moved to Texas. You can read about all that here and here.
Early 2011. We hadn't been in Texas longer than a few weeks when we felt convicted about the fact we hadn't been tithing. It's embarrassing to admit, but we hadn't tithed faithfully pretty much ever. We put in a little here and there, but the 10% God requires as per the Bible, yeah, no. We didn't. I recently heard a statistic that 5-7% of Christians tithe. I could write a whole post about this, but I'll just say that that makes it easier to admit since we obviously weren't alone. Tithing has changed our world. It requires faith. And because of that, we have been forced to get our finances under control. It's been HARD. But God is faithful.
August 2011. Remember up there where I said we hadn't hit rock bottom? Well, in August, we did. Three weeks without work in addition to three planned (but not budgeted-for) cross-country trips? If we had been budgeting properly, we could have saved the money beforehand. But, we didn't. Because of our ownlack of planning stupidity, we got ourselves into consumer credit card debt for the first time. Yeah, that one is hard to admit. Ouch. This is what Dave Ramsey calls stupid tax (the price you pay for a stupid decision). Anyway, we discovered that Financial Peace University was offered at our church, and the class had already started. BUMMER. We didn't have the money for the class materials anyway. But, we "got mad" and were determined to do something about this hole we had dug for ourselves.
September 2011. We did our first real budget in September. That process is initially so hard. To scrounge up all of the info of where every single dollar you spend goes is, well, painful. But so worth it. I can honestly look back and say it was the hardest part. We also took an Equip class at our church about what the Bible says about how to handle money. Our new way of handling our finances was definitely not perfect, but we felt encouraged. I started listening to The Dave Ramsey Show hour-long podcasts, which helped keep us motivated. We researched more about the Seven Baby Steps (which we now have memorized), and we started saving for our baby emergency fund plus cost of materials for the FPU class at our church that starts in January.
October 2011. Nate and I finally understood how the zero-based budget works and wrote out our monthly cash flow plan. Thanks to bumming materials from an old FPU kit, we started using the envelope system for groceries, eating out/date nights, personal care items, vehicle care, etc. It has helped a ton to not just use the debit card for those things. Before if we had gone over our budget by $5, I would have just said, "oh well." Now, when paying with cash, I can't do that, and it really helps us stay under our budget. At the end of the month, we finished Baby Step One: the $1,000 emergency fund plus the cost of materials for FPU! We feel so encouraged. I started listening to the 3-hour-long Dave Ramsey show at work, which continues to inspire and keep me motivated to start Baby Step Two and our debt snowball.
November 2011. We wrote our zero-based budget/monthly cash flow plan at the beginning of the month, as we will continue to do. As we are right now, we are scheduled to pay off our consumer credit card debt by the beginning of March 2012, though we would love it if we could beat that. We have budgeted for a teeny-tiny Christmas, and we will hopefully be able to scrounge up some extra income in the next few months. Nate and I are so in-sync about this, which is apparently not the case for most married couples in our situation. I am so thankful for that. Our next goals are, in this order, to pay off: our truck, my student loan, our car, and then Nate's student loan. These are based on pay-off amounts (as the interest rates are all very close to the same). Right now it looks like it will take up to two years, but then we will be finished with Baby Step Two, and we can be DEBT FREE.
You can read all about Dave Ramsey and everything he teaches on his website, but just for quick reference, the Seven Baby Steps are: 1 - $1000 emergency fund, 2 - pay off debt using the debt snowball (except the house, if applicable), 3 - build full emergency fund (3-6 months expenses), 4 - invest 15% of income in retirement, 5 - save for kids' college, 6 - pay off house, and 7 - build wealth. Since we don't have a house or kids yet, we will adjust this to fit us as recommended by Dave. Having kids and buying a house will probably fall somewhere between step 2 and step 4, depending on how quickly we can pay things off and save for other things appropriately.
I know personal finances are a very private thing for most people, and since this is the Internet, I will not share tons of details. But, Nate and I are so excited about this. We are embarrassed about the stupidity and ignorance that got us to where we were, but we don't even mind talking about it because we are on the path to get out of it. I will continue to update on our progress, probably after we start the class!
Early 2000s. Financial Peace University [FPU] was offered at my then church. My concept of Dave Ramsey and FPU was that this class was for middle-aged families who had major financial difficulties, as in major credit card debt, mortgage, etc. Sort of like an AA for finances. For some reason, I just had that stereotype in my head.
2009. Nate and I decided we weren't happy with our finances. We didn't have what we considered major debt, but we just knew there were a lot of things we should be doing but weren't, such as saving for retirement, and we had no idea where to start. We got Dave Ramsey's book, "The Total Money Makeover," as a gift. We excitedly read the beginning of it, and then...stopped. Not for any reason, but I don't think we had hit enough of a "rock bottom" to feel desperate enough to change our situation. Dave Ramsey says, "you have to get mad." We definitely weren't mad at that point.
2010. Toward the second half of the year, I went through a period of unemployment. I have no idea how we managed without racking up a ton of debt. Our idea of a budget was to write down the bills that we had to pay, such as our loans, etc., and then to make sure we covered them. It was an attempt, but it certainly wasn't a very good way to go about it. So suffice it to say, we weren't budgeting at the time. Right before Christmas, I was offered a job, and we moved to Texas. You can read about all that here and here.
Early 2011. We hadn't been in Texas longer than a few weeks when we felt convicted about the fact we hadn't been tithing. It's embarrassing to admit, but we hadn't tithed faithfully pretty much ever. We put in a little here and there, but the 10% God requires as per the Bible, yeah, no. We didn't. I recently heard a statistic that 5-7% of Christians tithe. I could write a whole post about this, but I'll just say that that makes it easier to admit since we obviously weren't alone. Tithing has changed our world. It requires faith. And because of that, we have been forced to get our finances under control. It's been HARD. But God is faithful.
August 2011. Remember up there where I said we hadn't hit rock bottom? Well, in August, we did. Three weeks without work in addition to three planned (but not budgeted-for) cross-country trips? If we had been budgeting properly, we could have saved the money beforehand. But, we didn't. Because of our own
September 2011. We did our first real budget in September. That process is initially so hard. To scrounge up all of the info of where every single dollar you spend goes is, well, painful. But so worth it. I can honestly look back and say it was the hardest part. We also took an Equip class at our church about what the Bible says about how to handle money. Our new way of handling our finances was definitely not perfect, but we felt encouraged. I started listening to The Dave Ramsey Show hour-long podcasts, which helped keep us motivated. We researched more about the Seven Baby Steps (which we now have memorized), and we started saving for our baby emergency fund plus cost of materials for the FPU class at our church that starts in January.
October 2011. Nate and I finally understood how the zero-based budget works and wrote out our monthly cash flow plan. Thanks to bumming materials from an old FPU kit, we started using the envelope system for groceries, eating out/date nights, personal care items, vehicle care, etc. It has helped a ton to not just use the debit card for those things. Before if we had gone over our budget by $5, I would have just said, "oh well." Now, when paying with cash, I can't do that, and it really helps us stay under our budget. At the end of the month, we finished Baby Step One: the $1,000 emergency fund plus the cost of materials for FPU! We feel so encouraged. I started listening to the 3-hour-long Dave Ramsey show at work, which continues to inspire and keep me motivated to start Baby Step Two and our debt snowball.
November 2011. We wrote our zero-based budget/monthly cash flow plan at the beginning of the month, as we will continue to do. As we are right now, we are scheduled to pay off our consumer credit card debt by the beginning of March 2012, though we would love it if we could beat that. We have budgeted for a teeny-tiny Christmas, and we will hopefully be able to scrounge up some extra income in the next few months. Nate and I are so in-sync about this, which is apparently not the case for most married couples in our situation. I am so thankful for that. Our next goals are, in this order, to pay off: our truck, my student loan, our car, and then Nate's student loan. These are based on pay-off amounts (as the interest rates are all very close to the same). Right now it looks like it will take up to two years, but then we will be finished with Baby Step Two, and we can be DEBT FREE.
You can read all about Dave Ramsey and everything he teaches on his website, but just for quick reference, the Seven Baby Steps are: 1 - $1000 emergency fund, 2 - pay off debt using the debt snowball (except the house, if applicable), 3 - build full emergency fund (3-6 months expenses), 4 - invest 15% of income in retirement, 5 - save for kids' college, 6 - pay off house, and 7 - build wealth. Since we don't have a house or kids yet, we will adjust this to fit us as recommended by Dave. Having kids and buying a house will probably fall somewhere between step 2 and step 4, depending on how quickly we can pay things off and save for other things appropriately.
I know personal finances are a very private thing for most people, and since this is the Internet, I will not share tons of details. But, Nate and I are so excited about this. We are embarrassed about the stupidity and ignorance that got us to where we were, but we don't even mind talking about it because we are on the path to get out of it. I will continue to update on our progress, probably after we start the class!
Saturday, August 27, 2011
Eight Months
We've officially been in Texas for eight months now. Minus this infernal, eternal summer heat, we pretty much love it here. There are lots of people and places we miss back in Michigan, but I am constantly reminded how much we are supposed to be here right now, at this exact time in our lives. It just feels so right.
I feel like I should kind of summarize what life has been like for us these past eight months, so if you've not been keeping up with us, you'll know what we've been up to. Can I really squeeze the past eight months into one post? I'm going to try . . . and GO.
January 2011
January was basically a whole month of packing and saying goodbye. The month culminated with the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad actual trip. We drove: Nate, a huge moving truck pulling our car on a trailer, and me, our truck with our dog in the passenger seat and his dog house in the bed. The weather was awful. But we prevailed. It took us 2 and a half days (when we can normally do it in 17 hours), but we made it.
February 2011
Nate job hunted, while I spent the time getting to know the ins and outs of life with an infant, and I began working as Ellie's nanny on Valentine's Day. Ellie turned 12 weeks old that day. I was also working part time doing some graphic design for a business in Michigan via the Internet. We were living with my brother, his wife, and their baby, so it was close quarters for awhile. But, we made it work. We had our meals together and divided up the chores. It was communal living at its finest, and I have fond memories of our time together. I think it especially helped Nate and Valerie, the in-laws, get to know each other better.
March 2011
Nate found a job, actually two jobs, and began working at our church and for my brother's IT company. We found an apartment about ten minutes away from my brother's house. It was so nice to finally have a place that was ours to call home. When we weren't working, we began slowly moving our things to our apartment and out of the rental storage unit where all our worldly possessions lived while we were staying with my brother. By the end of the month, the transition was complete, and we were moved in. The biggest highlight of March, for me, was getting my first pair of glasses. I knew I would have to get my eyes tested to get my license, and I knew without glasses, that I would have failed that test. So, off to the optometrist it was. I can't believe I went so long without getting my eyes tested. But, I am pretty used to them now, and I really like the frames. I'm thankful the adjustment wasn't too difficult for me.
April 2011
Now that we finally had a permanent address, we started making the adjustment of getting our vehicles licensed and registered in the State of Texas. It was a miserable experience, to be sure. I've moved lots of times, but this was the first time I've moved out of state as a vehicle owner. We jumped through the myriad of required hoops and finally got everything taken care of by the beginning of May, I think it was. We celebrated Easter with my brother's family, which was different, but in a good way. We're so thankful to have family near us so that we don't have to celebrate holidays alone.
May 2011
After the move and all of the necessary expenses involved with becoming residents and getting settled in our new house, we didn't have much left over for our yearly anniversary trip. I always like to go somewhere, just the two of us. I love to travel, and our anniversary is just the best time of year for us to do it. Since we were new to this area, we decided the best option was to have a Staycation. The only thing I regret about it was that we didn't take more pictures! We really did have the best time together. The first day, we went to breakfast at iHOP (Nate's very favorite place to eat) and then spent the day at Six Flags, which is literally about 10 minutes from our house. That night, we enjoyed the pool and hot tub at our apartment. It was the first time we had been to the pool, and it felt like we were staying at a hotel. It was lovely. The next day, our actual anniversary, we went to the Dallas Museum of Art. I've been to lots of art museums, and this certainly wasn't the finest I'd ever been too. Still, they had ancient Egyptian pieces that Nate enjoyed seeing, and I enjoyed visiting regardless. Afterward, we went to the Hard Rock Cafe, where they had a few guitars belonging to Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top. This was significant to us, as we had just gotten hooked on the show Bones, in which Gibbons occasionally guest-stars. After dinner, we wandered over to the historic site where President Kennedy was shot. Everything was closed, but we visited the monument and walked down the street where it occurred. All in all, we enjoyed our Staycation.
June 2011
My little brother's wedding was at the beginning of the month, so we took the opportunity to head to Michigan early to visit. We spent the first few days with Nate's mom and stepdad before heading to my parents' house. It had been in the triple digits weather-wise when we had left Texas, but with the humidity in Michigan combined with the lack of air conditioning most places, it was horribly hot! A few days before the wedding, I visited an old coworker of mine who I had arranged to have cut my hair. I had been growing it out since our wedding three years prior, and I was ready to have it cut. I wanted to donate to a non-profit organization, such as Locks of Love, but I didn't want it super-short. It was the shortest I've ever had it, but it turned out awesome. Kelsey did a great job. :o) My brother's wedding festivities were amazing. I had a blast hanging out with the girls, especially Becca, my new sister-in-law, and our friend and fellow bridesmaid, Angie. This wedding will always be especially memorable to me because I got to walk with my husband, as he was a groomsman. How often does that happen? It was so fun.
July 2011
The hottest month of my life. Literally. Our area of Texas was in close-to-record-breaking heat for number of consecutive days over 100 degrees. The previous record was I think 42 (or 43?) days, set in 1980. We missed the record by a few days due to a minor storm front that passed through and dropped the temperature to the upper 90s for like a day or two. We also had extreme drought conditions as we had had very little rain. We just learned to stay inside most of the time. Since everywhere is air conditioned, it didn't seem to be so terrible. The last weekend of the month, I flew to Michigan to throw a shower and bachelorette party for my best friend, Laura. (Yes, we have the same name. Yes, we're used to it. No, it's not weird for us.) It was a small gathering, but we had a great time. We went to a Tiger's game (where it was miserably hot) and then went to Hard Rock for dinner. It was a whirlwind trip for me, but it was unforgettable.
August 2011
A few weeks later, Nate and I flew back to Michigan to attend my best friend, Laura's wedding. I spent the week with Laura while Nate went to see his parents for a few days. In the past nine years of our friendship (has it really been that long?!?!), I have come to know her family and friends. It really feels like they are an extension of my family and friends. Laura and I are like the sisters each of us never had, and I love the friendship we have worked very hard to build and maintain. It has been so worth it. I told Laura the weekend after I met Andrew (but several years before they began dating), that I wanted her to end up with a guy like Andrew. I had no idea she would actually marry him, but I am so glad she did. They are perfect for each other, and I just love that they are now Mr. and Mrs. After the wedding, we came right back to Texas to take part in Ellie's dedication at church. It was awesome to go to God in prayer, together, to ask him to bless her little life and to help us be a godly example to her. As her aunt and nanny, I was honored to be a part of it. I definitely teared up. She means so very much to me, and I constantly thank God for allowing me to be a part of her life.
That brings us to the present. Thanks for being interested in our lives. We have some new things planned for September, including me getting involved volunteering at church as well as both of us attending an Equip class (a month long topical Bible study on Wednesday nights) and joining a small group at our church. Stay tuned!
I feel like I should kind of summarize what life has been like for us these past eight months, so if you've not been keeping up with us, you'll know what we've been up to. Can I really squeeze the past eight months into one post? I'm going to try . . . and GO.
January 2011
January was basically a whole month of packing and saying goodbye. The month culminated with the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad actual trip. We drove: Nate, a huge moving truck pulling our car on a trailer, and me, our truck with our dog in the passenger seat and his dog house in the bed. The weather was awful. But we prevailed. It took us 2 and a half days (when we can normally do it in 17 hours), but we made it.
February 2011
Nate job hunted, while I spent the time getting to know the ins and outs of life with an infant, and I began working as Ellie's nanny on Valentine's Day. Ellie turned 12 weeks old that day. I was also working part time doing some graphic design for a business in Michigan via the Internet. We were living with my brother, his wife, and their baby, so it was close quarters for awhile. But, we made it work. We had our meals together and divided up the chores. It was communal living at its finest, and I have fond memories of our time together. I think it especially helped Nate and Valerie, the in-laws, get to know each other better.
March 2011
Nate found a job, actually two jobs, and began working at our church and for my brother's IT company. We found an apartment about ten minutes away from my brother's house. It was so nice to finally have a place that was ours to call home. When we weren't working, we began slowly moving our things to our apartment and out of the rental storage unit where all our worldly possessions lived while we were staying with my brother. By the end of the month, the transition was complete, and we were moved in. The biggest highlight of March, for me, was getting my first pair of glasses. I knew I would have to get my eyes tested to get my license, and I knew without glasses, that I would have failed that test. So, off to the optometrist it was. I can't believe I went so long without getting my eyes tested. But, I am pretty used to them now, and I really like the frames. I'm thankful the adjustment wasn't too difficult for me.
April 2011
Now that we finally had a permanent address, we started making the adjustment of getting our vehicles licensed and registered in the State of Texas. It was a miserable experience, to be sure. I've moved lots of times, but this was the first time I've moved out of state as a vehicle owner. We jumped through the myriad of required hoops and finally got everything taken care of by the beginning of May, I think it was. We celebrated Easter with my brother's family, which was different, but in a good way. We're so thankful to have family near us so that we don't have to celebrate holidays alone.
May 2011
After the move and all of the necessary expenses involved with becoming residents and getting settled in our new house, we didn't have much left over for our yearly anniversary trip. I always like to go somewhere, just the two of us. I love to travel, and our anniversary is just the best time of year for us to do it. Since we were new to this area, we decided the best option was to have a Staycation. The only thing I regret about it was that we didn't take more pictures! We really did have the best time together. The first day, we went to breakfast at iHOP (Nate's very favorite place to eat) and then spent the day at Six Flags, which is literally about 10 minutes from our house. That night, we enjoyed the pool and hot tub at our apartment. It was the first time we had been to the pool, and it felt like we were staying at a hotel. It was lovely. The next day, our actual anniversary, we went to the Dallas Museum of Art. I've been to lots of art museums, and this certainly wasn't the finest I'd ever been too. Still, they had ancient Egyptian pieces that Nate enjoyed seeing, and I enjoyed visiting regardless. Afterward, we went to the Hard Rock Cafe, where they had a few guitars belonging to Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top. This was significant to us, as we had just gotten hooked on the show Bones, in which Gibbons occasionally guest-stars. After dinner, we wandered over to the historic site where President Kennedy was shot. Everything was closed, but we visited the monument and walked down the street where it occurred. All in all, we enjoyed our Staycation.
June 2011
My little brother's wedding was at the beginning of the month, so we took the opportunity to head to Michigan early to visit. We spent the first few days with Nate's mom and stepdad before heading to my parents' house. It had been in the triple digits weather-wise when we had left Texas, but with the humidity in Michigan combined with the lack of air conditioning most places, it was horribly hot! A few days before the wedding, I visited an old coworker of mine who I had arranged to have cut my hair. I had been growing it out since our wedding three years prior, and I was ready to have it cut. I wanted to donate to a non-profit organization, such as Locks of Love, but I didn't want it super-short. It was the shortest I've ever had it, but it turned out awesome. Kelsey did a great job. :o) My brother's wedding festivities were amazing. I had a blast hanging out with the girls, especially Becca, my new sister-in-law, and our friend and fellow bridesmaid, Angie. This wedding will always be especially memorable to me because I got to walk with my husband, as he was a groomsman. How often does that happen? It was so fun.
July 2011
The hottest month of my life. Literally. Our area of Texas was in close-to-record-breaking heat for number of consecutive days over 100 degrees. The previous record was I think 42 (or 43?) days, set in 1980. We missed the record by a few days due to a minor storm front that passed through and dropped the temperature to the upper 90s for like a day or two. We also had extreme drought conditions as we had had very little rain. We just learned to stay inside most of the time. Since everywhere is air conditioned, it didn't seem to be so terrible. The last weekend of the month, I flew to Michigan to throw a shower and bachelorette party for my best friend, Laura. (Yes, we have the same name. Yes, we're used to it. No, it's not weird for us.) It was a small gathering, but we had a great time. We went to a Tiger's game (where it was miserably hot) and then went to Hard Rock for dinner. It was a whirlwind trip for me, but it was unforgettable.
August 2011
A few weeks later, Nate and I flew back to Michigan to attend my best friend, Laura's wedding. I spent the week with Laura while Nate went to see his parents for a few days. In the past nine years of our friendship (has it really been that long?!?!), I have come to know her family and friends. It really feels like they are an extension of my family and friends. Laura and I are like the sisters each of us never had, and I love the friendship we have worked very hard to build and maintain. It has been so worth it. I told Laura the weekend after I met Andrew (but several years before they began dating), that I wanted her to end up with a guy like Andrew. I had no idea she would actually marry him, but I am so glad she did. They are perfect for each other, and I just love that they are now Mr. and Mrs. After the wedding, we came right back to Texas to take part in Ellie's dedication at church. It was awesome to go to God in prayer, together, to ask him to bless her little life and to help us be a godly example to her. As her aunt and nanny, I was honored to be a part of it. I definitely teared up. She means so very much to me, and I constantly thank God for allowing me to be a part of her life.
That brings us to the present. Thanks for being interested in our lives. We have some new things planned for September, including me getting involved volunteering at church as well as both of us attending an Equip class (a month long topical Bible study on Wednesday nights) and joining a small group at our church. Stay tuned!
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Not my first barbeque
This is not my first barbecue. I've moved a lot. I know what it is like to get attached to people and places and the memories of events that occurred when living in a place. I know how to say goodbye and how important it is to keep in touch or else lose the friends you had (pre-Facebook, of course) but how you and the friends with which you do stay in touch can reunite and feel like no time has been lost at all. I have felt the pain of being, in essence, ripped away from your seemingly amazing life, being transplanted, and having to start all over again building new friendships, moving into a new house, new school, and new town. I've done all that. Not to say that it's always been easy. At times it really was easy, but other times it has been so, so hard. This move is falling somewhere in the middle, but it's so different than all of the past moves.
How many times have you moved, Laura?
Well I'm glad you asked.
1. 6 months. From IA to IN. I don't remember that at all, obviously.
2. 4 years. From IN to MN. Barely remember it.
3. 13 years. From MN to IN. I was so excited about this move.
4. 17 years. From IN to MI. I HATED this move in every imaginable way.
5. 24 years. From Jackson, MI to Coldwater, MI. I was very excited about this move.
6. 27 years. From Coldwater, MI to Dallas, TX. Oh boy.
In case you weren't counting, this will be my sixth move. Not that you should feel sorry for me and not that I'm bragging (because neither is the case). You should just know that my dad is/was a pastor and that should explain a few things. If not, it's a topic for another post anyway.
As for Nate, this is his first move. He's never been gone from Coldwater for longer than a semester or a summer, pretty much since he was born. I'm not suggesting that moving a lot is better than never moving. It's just different. Very different. I think it sometimes makes it impossible very difficult for us to understand each other. But, as with most topics and things about our personalities, I think it's just another way we complement each other.
As we were driving down the main drag in Coldwater today, I said to Nate, "I really cannot imagine what it must be like to have lived in a place ALL your life." I honestly can't even fathom it. I mean to see a parking space where you first practiced parallel parking and the spot where you used to sit to watch parades as a child in the same town. To have attended the same church all your life. To have gone to the same dentist since you had baby teeth and drive by the hospital where your mom has worked for as long as you can remember. It blows my mind. If I were Nate, I'd be so emotionally wrapped up in the town that I'm not sure I would ever want to move.
Conversely, Nate has a horrible time figuring out and remembering where I lived when. I learned to parallel park in southern Indiana and watched parades in Minnesota. As for churches I've called "home", I lost count at 14. (Yeah, I'm not really sure if I am proud or embarrassed about that). I've been to five different dentists (not including orthodontists) and my mom has had more totally different teaching jobs in totally different towns and cities than I can even describe to you right now. It must be so odd for Nate to try to wrap his mind around the various stages and locations of my life, but somehow, he does. I love that he tries. That means so much to me.
But I am so glad that this is our first move together. I mean we moved into this house in Michigan separately, him about six months before our wedding and me when we got married. Now that we are moving to Texas, I love that I can draw on him for strength and stability but that he has my experience from living in a wide variety of places already. Gag if you want to, but we're a great match.
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