Mrs. Wills aka My Mama

For those who do not know, my dynamic mama, Mrs. Linda Wills, is retiring from 40 years of teaching at the end of this school year (spring 2014). She taught elementary school from 1974 to 2014, give or take a few years she stayed home to raise her babies. But even when she was a stay-at-home/work-from-home mama, she was always teaching kids...daycare kids, us, and Sunday school kids, as well. We, as her family, have known for the past year or so that she was ready to retire soon, and we have all been excitedly looking forward to her having more free time for her hobbies and her grandchildren. But I don't think any of us realized, until now, the other emotions that come with the official end of a long career. So, I shall attempt to illustrate what those look like from my perspective.

Forty years ago this spring, Mrs. Wills was just finishing her first year of teaching in a little private Christian school in Florida, she went on to teach in the Twin Cities in Minnesota, the Logansport area of Indiana, a few different schools in the Mille Lacs region of Minnesota, in primary/kindergarten classes while also teaching college and supervising student teachers in Evansville, Indiana, and finally her longest tenure of around 14 years teaching in the Columbia School District in southern Michigan. Around the time she began teaching in Michigan, she got involved in the Reading Recovery program, and from my layman's view, she developed a new love for teaching children how to read. Whatever certification or official term they use in Reading Recovery for someone who teaches it, she has that. ;P She told me today that she has helped 58 students, kids who otherwise would be way behind and struggling in reading, learn how to read with Reading Recovery, and that doesn't count the after-school literacy groups or the kids who she has helped just normally in her classroom in the past 40 years.

Mrs. Wills circa 1974 and Mrs. Wills circa 2013. (sorry for the low res images)

Today, the elementary school where my mom teaches honored her and another retiring teacher in a surprise assembly. My younger brother and his family and my dad were able to attend. The school gave Mom 40 carnations for each of her 40 years teaching. Her principal said a few touching words, and several of her former students spoke and told everyone their favorite memories of having her for a teacher.

I wasn't able to be there, but I know for a fact that Mrs. Wills is an amazing teacher, and I can say that without bias because she was my teacher too, and no, I was never "homeschooled." She was my preschool teacher when I was 3 and 4. Then, when my kindergarten teacher took several weeks (months?) off for medical leave, Mrs. Wills was our long-term substitute. She also subbed for my first grade teacher. Then, she got hired full time at a private Christian school in the country where she was my second grade teacher and then third grade teacher the next year. So I've had her for a teacher more years than anyone else ever did, I think, so I think that makes me pretty much an expert on how great of a teacher she is. (My brother Jonathan is a close second, having her for a teacher for 2-3 years, if I remember correctly.)

Mom was very clear to explain to me that at home, she was mommy, but at school, she needed to be Mrs. Wills. I understood and apparently was able to compartmentalize well enough that when I was in second grade, one of my classmates heard me accidentally call her "mommy" once. This was well into the school year, and she was absolutely stunned to find out after all that time that Mrs. Wills was my mom! :D
 

I remember lots of the things we did in school. In preschool we made flying purple people eaters for a craft. I'm sure that ages me a ton because that is an OLD song, but I remember doing that. I also remember making "footprint paintings" outside by stepping in paint and then walking on a long piece of craft paper. Those teachers were saints to do such a messy craft with us preschoolers. I work with 2 and 3 year olds at my church, and I just can't imagine. I don't know if it was my mom's brainchild or not, but we made Minnesota loons in kindergarten. Funny how I remember the arts and craft projects. I know we did lots of other things, but those are the things I remember the most.

I remember Mrs. Wills' creative lessons from second and third grade very well, like when we learned about apples in September and incorporated math, problem-solving, reading, writing, art, and probably lots of other great lessons in that one theme. We did another one in October about pumpkins. I have so many memories from those years. All of the Bible verses we memorized. And the way we celebrated birthdays. The things we learned about nature. And one year, Mom and her fellow teachers wrote a play based on A Charlie Brown Christmas. There are lots and lots of amazing teachers out there, but I'm not sure how many would add the task of basically writing their own script for a Christmas play to an already busy time of year. That was HANDS DOWN the best and most memorable Christmas play I've ever been involved in – in the history of more-than-I-can-count Christmas plays I've participated in. I still remember all the details they added and how involved everyone was in designing the props and the costumes. Snoopy's dog house made out of a school desk with a cardboard cutout was just awesome. If you care to know, I was cast as the little girl, Violet, who at the beginning, Charlie Brown thanks for sending him a Christmas card. She tartly replies, "I didn't send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown!" And that was my one line. :) I am so appreciative of all the teachers who go that extra mile to make an impression on kids for decades to come.

I have had lots of excellent teachers, but I think I owe a lot to the early reading and writing skills instilled in me by my mom in early elementary school. By the time I was in 8th grade, I was helping her grade college writing papers (basically doing it myself while she double-checked my work).  She was teaching a basic writing class at a local college for students who wanted to attend college but didn't pass the writing requirements to be able to enroll. She knew I was fully capable to grade their work because she knew I learned things in elementary school that those students hadn't learned. And she taught me those things...how to spell, how to write a complete sentence with a subject and a verb and the various alternate endings, how to construct a paragraph, and how to be descriptive in creative writing. I'm still working on how to be concise. ;) Thank you for teaching me those things, mama, and thank you for having the confidence in me to use what I knew at a young age. I truly believe I'm a better writer for it.

*cue the sappy*

I was looking at the pictures of my mom in her early teaching career and noticing how much Andrew looks like her and how much she looks like her dad, my GrampE. And then I got a little emotional because I know how proud her dad was and would be of her if he were still living. I know how proud he would be because I know how proud her mother is of her. I can't even imagine what it's like to live to see your only child RETIRE from her 40-year-long career, but I know she is bursting with pride. She constantly tells me, "she works so hard." GramE's right, and Mom does it because she knows the kids deserve it. See, my grandma remembers the little kindergartener/first grader who had a HORRIBLE, cruel teacher who embarrassed her and made her cry. She remembers the little girl that swore to herself that she would grow up and be a teacher . . . and that she would be a kinder and better teacher than that woman was. I think she has fulfilled that ten-fold. My mom is engaging, driven, patient, inspiring, and so many other things any teacher would want to be said about them. I see no comparison between the two, other than the title "teacher".

So in four more days, this 40-year-long career officially ends. But she will never stop teaching. She will continue to educate every child she ever comes into contact with because that is who she is. I can't wait to see what this next phase of life holds for her and the rest of our family.  I know I speak for everyone when I say that GramE, Dad, Andrew, Jonathan, your daughters-in-law, your son-in-law, your three-and-counting grandbabies, and I are so proud of you. I love you so very much, Mrs. Wills. <3 br="">

Journey to Financial Peace - Part 1

Let's start at the very beginning – a very good place to start, naturally. ;o)

Early 2000s. Financial Peace University [FPU] was offered at my then church. My concept of Dave Ramsey and FPU was that this class was for middle-aged families who had major financial difficulties, as in major credit card debt, mortgage, etc. Sort of like an AA for finances. For some reason, I just had that stereotype in my head.

2009. Nate and I decided we weren't happy with our finances. We didn't have what we considered major debt, but we just knew there were a lot of things we should be doing but weren't, such as saving for retirement, and we had no idea where to start. We got Dave Ramsey's book, "The Total Money Makeover," as a gift. We excitedly read the beginning of it, and then...stopped. Not for any reason, but I don't think we had hit enough of a "rock bottom" to feel desperate enough to change our situation. Dave Ramsey says, "you have to get mad." We definitely weren't mad at that point.

2010. Toward the second half of the year, I went through a period of unemployment. I have no idea how we managed without racking up a ton of debt. Our idea of a budget was to write down the bills that we had to pay, such as our loans, etc., and then to make sure we covered them. It was an attempt, but it certainly wasn't a very good way to go about it. So suffice it to say, we weren't budgeting at the time. Right before Christmas, I was offered a job, and we moved to Texas. You can read about all that here and here.

Early 2011. We hadn't been in Texas longer than a few weeks when we felt convicted about the fact we hadn't been tithing. It's embarrassing to admit, but we hadn't tithed faithfully pretty much ever. We put in a little here and there, but the 10% God requires as per the Bible, yeah, no. We didn't. I recently heard a statistic that 5-7% of Christians tithe. I could write a whole post about this, but I'll just say that that makes it easier to admit since we obviously weren't alone. Tithing has changed our world. It requires faith. And because of that, we have been forced to get our finances under control. It's been HARD. But God is faithful.

August 2011. Remember up there where I said we hadn't hit rock bottom? Well, in August, we did. Three weeks without work in addition to three planned (but not budgeted-for) cross-country trips? If we had been budgeting properly, we could have saved the money beforehand. But, we didn't. Because of our own lack of planning stupidity, we got ourselves into consumer credit card debt for the first time. Yeah, that one is hard to admit. Ouch. This is what Dave Ramsey calls stupid tax (the price you pay for a stupid decision). Anyway, we discovered that Financial Peace University was offered at our church, and the class had already started. BUMMER. We didn't have the money for the class materials anyway. But, we "got mad" and were determined to do something about this hole we had dug for ourselves.

September 2011. We did our first real budget in September. That process is initially so hard. To scrounge up all of the info of where every single dollar you spend goes is, well, painful. But so worth it. I can honestly look back and say it was the hardest part. We also took an Equip class at our church about what the Bible says about how to handle money. Our new way of handling our finances was definitely not perfect, but we felt encouraged. I started listening to The Dave Ramsey Show hour-long podcasts, which helped keep us motivated. We researched more about the Seven Baby Steps (which we now have memorized), and we started saving for our baby emergency fund plus cost of materials for the FPU class at our church that starts in January.

October 2011. Nate and I finally understood how the zero-based budget works and wrote out our monthly cash flow plan. Thanks to bumming materials from an old FPU kit, we started using the envelope system for groceries, eating out/date nights, personal care items, vehicle care, etc. It has helped a ton to not just use the debit card for those things. Before if we had gone over our budget by $5, I would have just said, "oh well." Now, when paying with cash, I can't do that, and it really helps us stay under our budget. At the end of the month, we finished Baby Step One: the $1,000 emergency fund plus the cost of materials for FPU! We feel so encouraged. I started listening to the 3-hour-long Dave Ramsey show at work, which continues to inspire and keep me motivated to start Baby Step Two and our debt snowball.

November 2011. We wrote our zero-based budget/monthly cash flow plan at the beginning of the month, as we will continue to do. As we are right now, we are scheduled to pay off our consumer credit card debt by the beginning of March 2012, though we would love it if we could beat that. We have budgeted for a teeny-tiny Christmas, and we will hopefully be able to scrounge up some extra income in the next few months. Nate and I are so in-sync about this, which is apparently not the case for most married couples in our situation. I am so thankful for that. Our next goals are, in this order, to pay off: our truck, my student loan, our car, and then Nate's student loan. These are based on pay-off amounts (as the interest rates are all very close to the same). Right now it looks like it will take up to two years, but then we will be finished with Baby Step Two, and we can be DEBT FREE.

You can read all about Dave Ramsey and everything he teaches on his website, but just for quick reference, the Seven Baby Steps are: 1 - $1000 emergency fund, 2 - pay off debt using the debt snowball (except the house, if applicable), 3 - build full emergency fund (3-6 months expenses), 4 - invest 15% of income in retirement, 5 - save for kids' college, 6 - pay off house, and 7 - build wealth. Since we don't have a house or kids yet, we will adjust this to fit us as recommended by Dave. Having kids and buying a house will probably fall somewhere between step 2 and step 4, depending on how quickly we can pay things off and save for other things appropriately.

I know personal finances are a very private thing for most people, and since this is the Internet, I will not share tons of details. But, Nate and I are so excited about this. We are embarrassed about the stupidity and ignorance that got us to where we were, but we don't even mind talking about it because we are on the path to get out of it. I will continue to update on our progress, probably after we start the class!

Ten Years :: My 9-11 Memories

Everyone has their own version and their own memories of the day. Mine are not especially significant. I didn't know anyone who was affected, and I don't have anything to say that is profound or really even worth sharing. In fact, on the tenth anniversary of this historic day, I even put off thinking about it because I didn't want to remember how I felt or how sad it was. It helps me to process my thoughts by writing them down, and so that's what I shall do.

Ten years ago. I was 17. Seventeen. I've almost forgotten what it's like to be a teenager. I was recently made painfully aware of this when hearing the age (15) of a babysitter who was going to watch my niece, Ellie for me so that Nate and I could go to a comedy night at our church. I thought, fifteen is too young to babysit a nine month...oh, wait. I started babysitting when I was 12 or 13. *facepalm* But the facts are that seventeen-year-old-me and my family had just moved to Michigan like a month prior, and school had just started about two weeks before September 11. I worked at McDonald's. All of my grandparents were still living (and I now only have one living grandma). I drove myself and my 13-year-old brother to school in my parents' 1983 Chevy Celebrity. I was also enrolled at a university, where I would later earn my bachelor's degree, taking a college-level Spanish class Monday and Wednesday afternoons, but Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons were free for me to spend extra time in the lab of my favorite class, Yearbook, of which I would later be asked to be editor. This is what I wrote as it appears in my high school's 2001-2002 yearbook.
9-11
They said we'd always remember 9-11. I could never forget. Could you?
By Laura Wills, Editor of the Royal Heir 2002
      It was a normal Tuesday morning, just like any other school day. I was sitting in government class, trying to stay awake, when everything changed. Mr. Barsuhn was called out of the room, and he returned with a serious expression on his face. He told us that a terrorist-controlled plane flew into one of the towers of the World Trade Center in New York. The class sat silently in disbelief. Later, we heard that another plane flew into the other tower of the WTC.
      This experience was frightening, but God did not want us to be afraid. The Bible is full of encouragement that applied to the events of September 11, 2001. God continually tells us not to be afraid because he sees the big picture. "...'Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed; be strong and of good courage, for thus the Lord will do to all your enemies against whom you fight' (Joshua 10:25, NIV)." God has also warned us that we will have trouble in this world. "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world (John 16:33, NIV)."
      Our nation will never be the same. Good has and will come from this tragedy. Let us never forget Who this nation stands for, and let us always be thankful for the freedom to worship Him. We must remember that God is always in control.

Obviously, I wrote this after I had had a lot of time to process the events that had happened. The things I said were true and still are. I don't believe our nation has been the same since. But that day, my emotions were raw. I spent nearly the entire school day in front of the one TV our small Christian school had in the "Cafetorium" (multipurpose cafeteria/auditorium). We started watching after the first plane hit the first tower, and so we watched LIVE while the second plane hit the second tower, the other plane hit the Pentagon, and the fourth plane crashed in Pennsylvania. That day, we had no idea that that would be the end of the planned attacks. We just knew that our nation was under attack, most likely from terrorists, and it was terrifying. For all we knew, there were many more attacks to come. For the first time in my sheltered American teenage life, I didn't feel safe. That day after school, I remember going out to dinner with my dad and my little brother to a little establishment in our small town. The restaurant was full of people, but the atmosphere was hazy and quiet. With only the news on the radio, everyone was silent in complete bewilderment.

Just today, I watched video footage of the second plane hitting the second tower of the World Trade Center. It is common footage that you can find a million times over by doing a simple search on Google or YouTube, but I hadn't seen it in years. Memories of how I felt the first time I saw it came flooding back to me. Those are the snapshots that replay in my head when I think of this day. Aside from the obvious countless lives lost, the surviving friends and family, the country at war with terrorism, and the renewed sense of patriotism, here are a few things I noticed while flipping through my high school yearbook that have changed. The New York City skyline. Airline security. Security to large public places and events (including amusement parks, tourist attractions, and sports arenas). The Sears/Willis Tower. The Internet. Facebook. The software we used to design the yearbook, Pagemaker, doesn't exist anymore; it is now called InDesign, and it's in its 5th version. There are countless more, but that's all that have come to mind just now.

The world has changed and will doubtlessly continue to change in the coming years, but of one thing I'm certain: my God is greater and more powerful than any evil in this world, and He is in control.

_____________________________________________________

"I'm pressed but not crushed; persecuted not abandoned / Struck down but not destroyed. / I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure / And his joy's gonna be my strength // Though the sorrow may last for the night / His joy comes with the morning." - Trading My Sorrows, by Darrell Evans

Eight Months

We've officially been in Texas for eight months now. Minus this infernal, eternal summer heat, we pretty much love it here. There are lots of people and places we miss back in Michigan, but I am constantly reminded how much we are supposed to be here right now, at this exact time in our lives. It just feels so right.

I feel like I should kind of summarize what life has been like for us these past eight months, so if you've not been keeping up with us, you'll know what we've been up to. Can I really squeeze the past eight months into one post? I'm going to try . . . and GO.

January 2011
January was basically a whole month of packing and saying goodbye. The month culminated with the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad actual trip. We drove: Nate, a huge moving truck pulling our car on a trailer, and me, our truck with our dog in the passenger seat and his dog house in the bed. The weather was awful. But we prevailed. It took us 2 and a half days (when we can normally do it in 17 hours), but we made it.

February 2011
Nate job hunted, while I spent the time getting to know the ins and outs of life with an infant, and I began working as Ellie's nanny on Valentine's Day. Ellie turned 12 weeks old that day. I was also working part time doing some graphic design for a business in Michigan via the Internet. We were living with my brother, his wife, and their baby, so it was close quarters for awhile. But, we made it work. We had our meals together and divided up the chores. It was communal living at its finest, and I have fond memories of our time together. I think it especially helped Nate and Valerie, the in-laws, get to know each other better.

March 2011
Nate found a job, actually two jobs, and began working at our church and for my brother's IT company. We found an apartment about ten minutes away from my brother's house. It was so nice to finally have a place that was ours to call home. When we weren't working, we began slowly moving our things to our apartment and out of the rental storage unit where all our worldly possessions lived while we were staying with my brother. By the end of the month, the transition was complete, and we were moved in. The biggest highlight of March, for me, was getting my first pair of glasses. I knew I would have to get my eyes tested to get my license, and I knew without glasses, that I would have failed that test. So, off to the optometrist it was. I can't believe I went so long without getting my eyes tested. But, I am pretty used to them now, and I really like the frames. I'm thankful the adjustment wasn't too difficult for me.

April 2011
Now that we finally had a permanent address, we started making the adjustment of getting our vehicles licensed and registered in the State of Texas. It was a miserable experience, to be sure. I've moved lots of times, but this was the first time I've moved out of state as a vehicle owner. We jumped through the myriad of required hoops and finally got everything taken care of by the beginning of May, I think it was. We celebrated Easter with my brother's family, which was different, but in a good way. We're so thankful to have family near us so that we don't have to celebrate holidays alone.

May 2011
After the move and all of the necessary expenses involved with becoming residents and getting settled in our new house, we didn't have much left over for our yearly anniversary trip. I always like to go somewhere, just the two of us. I love to travel, and our anniversary is just the best time of year for us to do it. Since we were new to this area, we decided the best option was to have a Staycation. The only thing I regret about it was that we didn't take more pictures! We really did have the best time together. The first day, we went to breakfast at iHOP (Nate's very favorite place to eat) and then spent the day at Six Flags, which is literally about 10 minutes from our house. That night, we enjoyed the pool and hot tub at our apartment. It was the first time we had been to the pool, and it felt like we were staying at a hotel. It was lovely. The next day, our actual anniversary, we went to the Dallas Museum of Art. I've been to lots of art museums, and this certainly wasn't the finest I'd ever been too. Still, they had ancient Egyptian pieces that Nate enjoyed seeing, and I enjoyed visiting regardless. Afterward, we went to the Hard Rock Cafe, where they had a few guitars belonging to Billy Gibbons of ZZ Top. This was significant to us, as we had just gotten hooked on the show Bones, in which Gibbons occasionally guest-stars. After dinner, we wandered over to the historic site where President Kennedy was shot. Everything was closed, but we visited the monument and walked down the street where it occurred. All in all, we enjoyed our Staycation.

June 2011
My little brother's wedding was at the beginning of the month, so we took the opportunity to head to Michigan early to visit. We spent the first few days with Nate's mom and stepdad before heading to my parents' house. It had been in the triple digits weather-wise when we had left Texas, but with the humidity in Michigan combined with the lack of air conditioning most places, it was horribly hot! A few days before the wedding, I visited an old coworker of mine who I had arranged to have cut my hair. I had been growing it out since our wedding three years prior, and I was ready to have it cut. I wanted to donate to a non-profit organization, such as Locks of Love, but I didn't want it super-short. It was the shortest I've ever had it, but it turned out awesome. Kelsey did a great job. :o) My brother's wedding festivities were amazing. I had a blast hanging out with the girls, especially Becca, my new sister-in-law, and our friend and fellow bridesmaid, Angie. This wedding will always be especially memorable to me because I got to walk with my husband, as he was a groomsman. How often does that happen? It was so fun.

July 2011
The hottest month of my life. Literally. Our area of Texas was in close-to-record-breaking heat for number of consecutive days over 100 degrees. The previous record was I think 42 (or 43?) days, set in 1980. We missed the record by a few days due to a minor storm front that passed through and dropped the temperature to the upper 90s for like a day or two. We also had extreme drought conditions as we had had very little rain. We just learned to stay inside most of the time. Since everywhere is air conditioned, it didn't seem to be so terrible. The last weekend of the month, I flew to Michigan to throw a shower and bachelorette party for my best friend, Laura. (Yes, we have the same name. Yes, we're used to it. No, it's not weird for us.) It was a small gathering, but we had a great time. We went to a Tiger's game (where it was miserably hot) and then went to Hard Rock for dinner. It was a whirlwind trip for me, but it was unforgettable.

August 2011
A few weeks later, Nate and I flew back to Michigan to attend my best friend, Laura's wedding. I spent the week with Laura while Nate went to see his parents for a few days. In the past nine years of our friendship (has it really been that long?!?!), I have come to know her family and friends. It really feels like they are an extension of my family and friends. Laura and I are like the sisters each of us never had, and I love the friendship we have worked very hard to build and maintain. It has been so worth it. I told Laura the weekend after I met Andrew (but several years before they began dating), that I wanted her to end up with a guy like Andrew. I had no idea she would actually marry him, but I am so glad she did. They are perfect for each other, and I just love that they are now Mr. and Mrs. After the wedding, we came right back to Texas to take part in Ellie's dedication at church. It was awesome to go to God in prayer, together, to ask him to bless her little life and to help us be a godly example to her. As her aunt and nanny, I was honored to be a part of it. I definitely teared up. She means so very much to me, and I constantly thank God for allowing me to be a part of her life.

That brings us to the present. Thanks for being interested in our lives. We have some new things planned for September, including me getting involved volunteering at church as well as both of us attending an Equip class (a month long topical Bible study on Wednesday nights) and joining a small group at our church. Stay tuned!

Project 31: Day 16: Dear Ellie

Day 16.  Write a letter to your daughter, or a young girl in your life. Tell her what beauty means.

Dear Ellie,
You turned just 11 weeks old yesterday, but I already know we are going to have a special relationship. I'm not your mama. You have a very special mama, though, and sometimes when I look at you, I know you are the spitting image of her. She has gorgeous red hair and a very genuine and infectious smile. Though I'm not your daddy, I'm your daddy's sister. You have a very special daddy, too. He was the best big brother a girl like me could ever have hoped for. He took care of me, and we were best buds. Sometimes when I look at you, I can't see anyone else but him in you. But I'm not your mama or your daddy. I'm your aunt.

Your mama asked me what I want you to call me. That's kind of a confusing topic as I am also going to be your nanny, starting on the day you turn 12 weeks old. I hope you'll eventually learn to call me Aunt Laura. Your mama came up with a baby sign for you to call me as soon as you can learn it. I don't really care what you call me when you first learn to talk. I'm sure whatever it is will melt my heart. I've never had a close relationship with any of my aunts (I've only met one of the three). Uncle Nate has two fantastic aunts who I really look up to, so maybe I can go to them for advice on how to be a good aunt. For now, I'm just going to be the best aunt I can be.

I'm not sure how long I will be your nanny. I'm not sure how long it will be until you have a baby brother or sister or a baby cousin to share my time with you. But I will always be your aunt. Always. I know I'm not your only aunt. You have some fabulous aunts on your mama's side. I hope you cherish the time you get to spend with them since for now they live so very far away. Aunt Becka, on your daddy's side, is pretty great, too, though you haven't met her yet. (She and Uncle Jonathan are getting married this summer, and you get to go meet them!) But I hope that you and I have a special relationship based on the foundation we'll have from me being your nanny as well. I am so looking forward to the times we'll spend together, much more than you can possibly imagine right now. I hope I'm able to teach you lots of new things and instill in you some lasting qualities. I don't feel qualified to teach you anything, but I believe with all my heart that God called me to move to Texas to be your nanny. I know that he doesn't call the qualified but qualifies the called. I know that concept is way over your 11-week-old head, but I pray that someday when you get to read this that you'll get it. I don't have to be "able" to be your nanny. God will give me the knowledge and skills I need. I just have to be available and faithful to be used by him.


There's one more thing I want to tell you. Among all of the important things your parents and I want to teach you, I want to be an example of beauty to you. That doesn't mean that I want to look pretty and wear fancy dresses and put on makeup every day and teach you to do the same. God made us all different on the outside, and I want you to learn to embrace your own beauty as you grow. Believe me, that is easier said than done! We're pretty sure you are going to have gorgeous red hair, just like your mama, aunts, and grammy. But whether you do or not doesn't really matter. We know you are going to be beautiful because you already are. But the part of your beauty that matters the most is your inner beauty. It's the part that is important to God. Your beauty inside shines through and makes you beautiful on the outside. When you play nice with your friends or siblings, it increases your beauty. When you obey your parents, it increases your beauty. When you talk to God, it increases your beauty. When you worship Him, it increases your beauty. I know you are too young to understand right now, but before you know it, or before I know it, rather, you will understand it all too well. I am so excited to see the beautiful baby, girl, young woman, and woman you become.


I love you, Ellie Bean.


Always,
Aunt Laura

The Miss List

I'm going to miss:

:: Meijer-brand low fat Chocolate Moose Tracks Ice Cream.

:: Our fenced-in backyard.

:: Los Tres Amigos.

:: The lake.

:: Living across the driveway from Nate's grandpa, Joe Ferry.

:: Being 15 minutes from Nate's parents and 1 hour from my parents.

:: Somerset Beach Campground.

:: No water or sewer bill. (We have a well and septic system.)

:: Really, really inexpensive rent.

:: Belle Tire. (We have free tire rotation, balancing, and alignment checks. Come to find out Belle Tire is only in Michigan and Ohio. FAIL.)

:: My parents. Nate's parents. Jonathan & Rebecca.

:: Allen Antique Malls.

Things I'm NOT going to miss:

:: The snow. (I'm sure I will eventually miss it, but it's going to take a long, long, long time.)

:: Not having a garage.

:: My husband's two-hour daily commute. (It's one hour each way.)

:: Being 40 miles away from the nearest Target, farmers' markets, and the like.

:: The incredibly HARD water.

:: Did I mention the cold and snow?

:: The ginormous tree growing over our house. During every thunderstorm, I'm afraid it is going to come crashing down on us.

:: Andrew & Valerie. My niece, Ellie.

:: Small town newspapers.

:: Fireworks going off randomly throughout the year and scaring my dog half to death.

:: My tiny kitchen and lack of a dishwasher.

Texas: The Story

Chapter 1: Yes, Texas

“Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.” -Fredrick Wilcox

About two weeks ago, I was offered a job to be a full time nanny for my niece Elanor Grace Wills in the Dallas/Fort Worth area in Texas. Through much prayer and consideration, Nate and I feel very strongly that God is calling us to move to Texas. For more information on the events that brought us to this decision, please read my blog entry Texas: The Prequel. Nate currently has a few job prospects but nothing specific. Here are some of the reasons we are saying "Yes" to Texas.

We need a fresh start. I pretty much covered that in Texas: The Prequel, but Nate and I feel like we've been in a rut for almost three years. It isn't getting better. Nate currently has a full-time job he really enjoys. We met at Somerset, and we love the people there. But the commute is an hour each way, and we can't afford to move closer. While it's true I just got hired to a new job, it isn't exactly what I want either. I was and still am excited about that job, but I am pretty sure I will still be able to work for the company from home from Texas rather than from home from Michigan. I don't see it being a problem. If it works, it will in effect double my income. We are trusting that God will provide a job for Nathan after our arrival.

Texas' economy is not Michigan's economy. That is really important for Michiganders to remember. When driving around an average town or city in Michigan, it is not uncommon to see strip malls with shop vacancies. Unemployment is not uncommon in Michigan. In Texas, finding a job is not so difficult, and businesses are continually booming. "Texas is kind of a red state," as Valerie so eloquently put it. Michigan is, well, very blue. (Okay, that's not true. Michigan is red except for Detroit and Grand Rapids and Battle Creek and Lansing. Those cities make Michigan blue. Anyway, I digress.) While I am not attributing the economies wholly to the states' respective political persuasions, I do think they are a major factor. Texas does not have state income tax. Michigan does. Property tax is higher in Texas and sales tax is a percent or two higher, but if you cannot afford to own property, you basically get a tax break. I think that is a huge incentive to poorer people. Jobs are much easier to come-by in Texas, which makes moving without Nathan being employed a lot less scary. While it's sad that Michigan's economy is so bad, we have to do what is best for us and our family, not what is best for Michigan.

No daycare for Ellie. This one was a huge factor. My mom (and lots of others as well) has been worried about Ellie going to daycare. Not that daycare centers are evil or, as a rule, force a child to grow up without guidance from his or her parents, but my mom feels (and I agree) that being a stay-at-home parent in order to be able to raise one's own children is really important if it is feasible. When she heard that Valerie was going back to work, I think her heart sank a little. She so wanted to live closer to be able to watch her grandbaby. I'm sure Ellie's other relatives felt the same way. But the timing was just not right for them. It just felt SO right for me. I could watch Ellie when Andrew and Valerie were at work, and she wouldn't have to go to daycare. This would answer a lot of people's prayers. I really feel so, so humbled that they trust me so much to ask me to watch their child on a daily basis, and I'm thrilled that I will be able to get to know her and watch her grow.

Everything's bigger in Texas. Even the cities. But really, it's pretty exciting. Name a restaurant or business you've ever heard of, and they probably have one. Or ten. In Coldwater, we live about 40 miles from the nearest Target. In Dallas, there are about 10 Targets within 20 miles, even Super Targets with grocery departments (not that I would EVER grocery shop in Target...too expensive). Sonic. Chick-fil-A. Kroger. The only thing they don't have that I know I will miss is Meijer. And Belle Tire.

And some more minor reasons:

Friendly Southerners.

Gas is MUCH cheaper. It doesn't stay so freaking cold all winter. Closer to my brother and his family and having their help in getting settled.

If you know Nate and me, you know that Nate is not much of a risk-taker, and I'm not really that independent though I am a bit of a dreamer. If this was our own doing, trust me, we would not be moving to Texas. There are just too many potential risks involved, and it's just kind of scary. But believe me when I say that this is God. It totally is. When I think about that and about Ellie, I just get so excited. Do we really want to live in Texas? Honestly? No, not really. But I just can't see myself doing anything else. I can't imagine saying "no" to forty hours a week with my niece. And Nate feels the same way. We are definitely unsure as to what God has for him, but we are trusting and praying that even now, God is causing things to happen that will present the best job Nate could ever wish for.

Chapter 2: Skepticism Takes Its Toll

"Now I'm fearless with nothing left to hide / All the doubts of yesterday, love has driven them away" - Fearless, dcTalk

How can they afford to hire you?

We've gotten this question a lot. Andrew and Valerie have budgeted in the cost of putting Ellie in an average daycare. It's not cheap. But, if they can afford daycare, they can afford to hire me instead. I don't know about you, but it seems pretty simple to me.

Moving is expensive. How can you afford to move? Well, God's got it covered. While that should appease most of those who have asked us these questions, the practical side of them just needs to know. Andrew and Valerie are helping. We will stay with them for the first month or so, which will help us find a great place to live and will save us money. In reality, I'm not really sure how we can afford not to move.

But childcare isn't your degree nor your passion. Aha! You are correct and also incorrect at the same time. One of the very biggest reasons why I chose graphic design is because I knew I could do it from home. (Another reason is the "undo" button, but that's a story for another time.) I wanted to be a wife and a mom more than most anything. I love graphic design. I really do. Sometimes it's stressful, but I'm good at it and I just love doing it. But family is so important to me. I wanted to choose a career that I could do from home like my mom did with me. She sold Tupperware and ran a daycare so that she could stay home with us, though her degree is education. I am so thankful she did that, and I want to do it too but in my own way. Childcare is important to me, and I'll gain so much experience watching Ellie (and ideally future Baby Wills children) until and maybe even while I watch my own children. But I can also pursue a career I am passionate about at the same time. There is no better arrangement, in my opinion, which is why I can't even imagine saying "no" to this opportunity.

And just so you know, if it works out the way I hope it will, it means double-pay.

What's Nate going to do?

So while we are moving without a job for Nathan, we are pretty certain he'll get one within a few weeks of our arrival. Andrew could not offer Nate a job, but he has enough faith in Nate as a hard worker and good employee that he can convince the right people to consider Nate for a job at Gateway Church.

Maybe Nate will get hired, maybe not. Maybe we'll end up loving Gateway Church, and maybe we'll find somewhere else we'd rather attend. With as frightening as it is for us to move without him having a job (or insurance), we are remarkably calm about it. I guess with faith in God, it isn't so remarkable that God would ease our fears about this.

When are you moving? I can't believe I haven't mentioned this yet. Our departure date: January 25, 2011.

We chose this date so we'll have a few weeks to look for a place to live and find Nate a job and also because it's after Nate's birthday. It was important to us to be here to spend Nate's 28th birthday with Nate's mom.

Nate's official last day of work is January 15, so that we have time to pack our things. My first day of work is February 14, the day Ellie turns 12 weeks old.

Are you taking both your vehicles and all your stuff right away? Yes. While it's true that we will be back to Michigan at least twice between January and September, it is important to us to try to take everything in one trip. We don't want to continue to take advantage of free storage at our parents' houses. I feel like we have a ton of stuff, too much stuff for a couple with no kids. But, that stuff includes a whole second set of bedroom furniture that we have inherited for when we do have kids. I'd rather take it with us now than try to move it later or rather than have to buy new furniture when the time comes. We will have to store our stuff for at least a month but hopefully not a whole lot longer than that. Trying to wait to take it when we come for Jonathan and Rebecca's wedding in June just wouldn't really be feasible. I think my mom will be thankful to be rid of the rest of my stuff, anyway. Also, if we didn't take both vehicles, Nate and I would probably have a difficult time getting to work as we are not likely to be able to commute together like the arrangement we had when I worked in Jonesville.

Chapter 3: Moving and Not Looking Back

"The hardest part of moving forward is not looking back." - Felicity

I believe that quote with all my heart. It's so easy to doubt a decision you make once you've made it. Skepticism creeps in so easily. Nate's mom, Polly, told us about the December 25, 2010 (yes, that's Christmas Day) entry in Our Daily Bread, the famous daily devotional. It amazes me that a message so poignant would be on just the perfect day. Please take a minute to read it here. It's really short, I promise. :o) I especially love the quote they included from Oswald Chambers, "

Faith never knows where it is being led, but it loves and knows the One who is leading."

Also, Pastor Robert of Gateway Church said something the weekend we were in Texas that really hit home to us, "I know some of you are going through difficult times, but God would like to birth a miracle in your situation–in your Bethlehem–He wants to birth a miracle in the problems you have right now." I feel like He really did.

I hope you will continue to read our blog and to follow us on our journey as we start this adventure in Texas. We will miss all our friends, family, and colleagues in Michigan more than they will ever know, but we know that we are doing the right thing for our lives.

Texas: The Prequel

This story feels so long to me that it feels like I'm writing a book series. So I'm just going to use novel terminology. Bear with me. Or don't. You can skip to the end if you want. :o)

Chapter 1: The Smallest One

"Even the smallest person can change the course of the future." - Galadriel, Lord of the Rings

Several months ago, some time in May, I received a phone call from my brother. After several minutes of small talk, he eventually asked me if I would design a mural for him. It was an out-of-the-blue request, even coming from him, but it was also his creative, roundabout way of telling me they were going to have a baby. Of course, I squealed with delight just bursting for them to make it public on Facebook so I could feel free to tell all my friends that I was going to be an aunt. (I have 3 nieces and 2 nephews, who are children of Nate's stepsister. I love them dearly and wish I could spend more time with them, but somehow it's different that my brother is starting a family.)

Fast forward a few months to my forced parting with my former place of employment. (Read about it here.) Also, I filed for unemployment with the stupid State of Michigan, who can't make up their minds what they are going to do. I qualified, didn't qualify, they filed my claim with the wrong business, they wrote me a letter saying they had erred, and then told me I qualified again. It's been ridiculously frustrating. After almost four months of dealing with them, I still haven't received one single check. Coincidentally, my brother is still receiving bills that he hasn't paid MI income tax for me working for him, though he ceased employing me July 2009. You'd think being one of the states with the worst economies, probably the worst, that they would be more careful about sort of thing if for no other reason than out of necessity. So no thanks to the State of Michigan, things were looking grim for us, financially. I did end up going with my mom to Texas, to paint the mural in August (just after I quit my job), but I didn't see how I was going to be able to afford to visit again after the baby was born.

Well, with Baby Wills (gender unknown) being due the first week of December, the Wills family decided to travel to Texas for Christmas. Nate and I spend every other Christmas with my family and then with his family on the alternating years. This year was our year to spend it with his family, and even with a new niece/nephew coming, it was important to me to honor that. There was going to be no way we could go. I was now out of a job, and finances were going to be super-tight for Christmas. Well, Nate and I talked about it a lot. I wanted to go meet my niece/nephew more than anything. We budgeted the cost of the trip, factored in Nate's unused week of paid vacation, and with a little extra help from Christmas gift money received early, we planned to go to Texas for a week. It worked because we planned to be back in time for Christmas to spend the holiday with his family.

It turned out that Baby Wills, Elanor Grace (named after her maternal great-great- grandmother Elnora and her paternal great-grandmother Grace Arlene, and spelled Elanor after Samwise Gamgee's daughter in the Lord of the Rings), was born two weeks early: November 22, 2010. This worked out beautifully for us, as had she been born on her due date, her grandmother (Valerie's mom) would have been staying with them, and we would have had to pay for a hotel room for a few nights. As it happened, Valerie's mom came early and left before we arrived. That was a huge blessing for us.

It was absolutely wonderful to see my brother, sister-in-law, and Baby Ellie. See pictures here. She was so tiny and so precious. She pretty much stole my heart before she was even born, but when I met her, words can't even describe the joy I felt holding her. I mean, she isn't my child, but I just felt this huge love for her. We had a very enjoyable trip and a wonderful Christmas. We enjoyed the warm weather and relaxed. But I would be remiss if I said that's all that happened.

Chapter 2: Our Position

"There comes a time when one must take a position that is neither safe, nor politic, nor popular, but he must take it because his conscience tells him it is right...." - Martin Luther

During our recent trip to Texas, our lives were forever changed. That sounds cliche, but really, they were. I have to be honest. Really honest. Times have been tough – very tough for us. It's not an unusual story for a newlywed couple living in the State of Michigan. We have college loans and vehicle loans that aren't going to disappear on their own (but I'm proud to say we have ZERO credit card debit...and always will). And we want to start a family someday...but as each day, week, and month passes, we are in no way closer to being financially ready for that.

[PAUSE FOR RANT]

Okay, so I've been told more times than I can count that if we are waiting to be financially stable before we start a family that we will be waiting forever. While I understand what these information-bearers mean by this, I cannot agree that it applies to us right now. Of course it takes a huge amount of money to raise a child, but I don't think people seriously understand how important it is for us to do so after we are mostly out of debt, not while we are wallowing in it. Besides that, we're fairly sure we want to have our future child(ren) in a birthing center and not a hospital. Most insurance companies do not cover births in birthing centers, which means we would have to come up with the money ourselves. I am not really willing to sacrifice that desire just because it costs more money than the alternative. I am willing to wait until we have a more secure financial situation.

[END RANT]

Nate and I just felt stuck. When we got married, we thought we would be able to rent our current house (from family) for a few years and be able to start saving up money to afford a deposit on our own home. Two and a half years later, we are in the same situation we were in when we got married...no closer to having even a penny extra for a house downpayment. We so looked forward to our week in Texas to just get away from everything for awhile. In fact, we actually asked for Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University for Christmas. There are a people who have a lot more debt than we do, but then they probably make a lot more money than we do, too. We are thankful for what we have, but we so desire to be in a position of financial peace.

Chapter 3: The Smallest Decisions

"Sometimes it's the smallest decisions that can pretty much change your life forever." - Felicity

As do many married couples, Andrew and Valerie have this awesome tradition of going on dates weekly with each other. Nate and I do as well. On our second day there, they asked if we would babysit Ellie for an hour or two so they could go out for dinner. We promptly agreed. Ellie was a bit fussy that night. Nate and I had an awkward time managing her and trying to get dinner around for ourselves. Looking back, it's actually kind of funny. At some point in the evening, probably after we finally got her bottle heated up, I said to Nate, "Wouldn't it be great if we lived closer so we could babysit her all the time?" We both kind of laughed about it.

Then Andrew and Valerie came home. I finally got Ellie to sleep and was holding her when they sat down and asked if they could talk to us. They told us that they felt really strongly that Valerie should return to work after her 12 weeks of maternity leave. Valerie absolutely loves her job - it's her calling, and she's very good at it. They had been praying for a long, long time about what to do with Ellie when the maternity leave was up. They felt God was telling them that Valerie should go back to work, but to not worry about what to do with Ellie. They looked at several daycare centers, but nothing felt "right." While they were out at dinner, they talked it over and it occurred to them, what about Laura? They knew a lot about our financial situation, and it just dawned on them that they should hire me to provide full time care for Ellie. They offered me a job paying equal to the job I just got hired for and sort of just started in Quincy.

Nate and I were shocked. Of course, Andrew has been bugging me for years to move near him...to Texas. Since we were teenagers, we decided we wanted to live within close proximity to one another so that our kids could grow up knowing their aunts and uncles. We sort of wished we'd had that in our own lives, but we never really had the chance to know my dad's siblings very well and my mom is an only child. But Texas?

Chapter 4: Our Reactions: But Texas?!?

"Things happen to us, but it's our reactions that matter." -Felicity

It's too hot in Texas. I like seasons and I like snow (for brief amounts of time) and I don't like 115 degrees in the summer!

They live in a suburb of Dallas, and I don't like HUGE cities. I like medium-sized cities that have a small town atmosphere while still having a variety of stores and activities and culture like the big cities. Dallas is the 9th largest city in the United States. It's the third largest city in Texas, after Houston and San Antonio. If you combine Dallas and Fort Worth, which really are twin cities, they create the 5th largest city in the United States, right under New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Houston. So, it's a crazy-big city!

Texas is too far from our families. We want to live within a reasonable day of driving from our families and from anywhere we would ever want to drive. For us, that's mid-central-eastern US. We like Tennessee, Kentucky, and North Carolina, for starters. They have the climate and the driving distance we really want. You can get just about anywhere (besides out West) in 8-10 hours. Dallas is NOT any 8-10 hour drive. It's 18-19 hours!

The traffic. I really don't think that needs any explanation.

But even with all of those strikes against it, Andrew asked us to prayerfully consider it but asked us to give them our answer before we went home to Michigan. We agreed. Through the course of my life, I have told God many times that I'll go wherever He wants me to go, whether it is my ideal place or not. Afterall, I moved to Michigan 9 and a half years ago with a similar mindset as I now have about Texas. I knew that this could be no different. If God wanted us to move to Texas, we'd move. If not, we'd stay in Michigan. So with that, Nate and I began praying. We went out for lunch the next day to discuss our options. For several days, we prayed and talked and weighed our options. We were nervously excited that we were even considering such a move.

We attended two services at Andrew and Valerie's church, Gateway Church, in Southlake (another suburb of Dallas), Texas. I was pleasantly surprised at how apparent it was that God was using this church in a major way. I was definitely skeptical as megachurches have a reputation for being impersonal and lacking spiritual depth. This was not so! Sometime over the course of the weekend, we felt very strongly that this was where God wanted us to be. When we pictured ourselves living in Texas, it just felt so right. Never have I felt so strongly that God was asking me to do something (well, besides quitting my job), as I did over those few days. Nate and I were in 100% agreement. He was maybe even more sure about it than I was when we came to the decision. The only thing that was holding me back even at the very end was that Nate didn't have a job. While I was all for embarking on an exciting adventure, the practical side of me was telling me how risky this was...to move without us both having a job.

But I knew that was the faith aspect of this decision, while we initially had all of those strikes against moving to Texas, all of the signs were pointing to YES, TEXAS.

Birth of Ellie

The waiting was awful. I've never been so anxious about a baby's birth in my life. My brother and sister-in-law called yesterday (Sunday, November 21) in the afternoon to tell us that Valerie was in labor, and that they were getting ready to leave for the birthing center pretty soon.

I just about squealed on the phone, "Ohmigosh, are you serious?"

Valerie and Andrew laughed, "That was a GREAT reaction!"

Later in the afternoon, I had the opportunity to talk to them via conference call with my mom, dad, Gram E., and my little brother, Jonathan.

Every so often, Andrew would send a mass text message on the status of the labor. I was sure the baby would be born in the wee hours of the morning. Things seemed to have been moving so fast. But alas, when I awoke, no news. For twelve hours the only message I had was that labor was hard, Valerie was exhausted, and that the baby had not turned. I prayed and tried not to worry. If you know me, the trying-not-to-worry part was less than successful.

Finally, Andrew texted that all were doing well and that they were all exhausted. But still no other information. We had to read between the lines that the baby had been born. Ugh, men! I am partially joking about the gender stereotype, but that was just frustrating. We knew they had been through a lot, but we were sitting on the edge of our chairs emotionally with a text that provided no relief of our worries: "Please do not worry. All three are healthy. Valerie and I have not slept and are extremely exhausted and on bedrest. We are happy to call and share the news after some rest. Thanks. We love you all."

*sigh* At the time, it was good to know they were okay but really hard to hear so little. It was so awful to be 1,100 miles away from family through things like this. Andrew finally called at 6:15 pm to tell me that the baby had been born at 9 am, a beautiful, red-haired, baby girl named Ellie.

A Family Ordeal

Imported Livejournal entry 03.08.08 
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I had a RIDICULOUS day/night at work last night. I worked 15 hours to finish the paper. Yay for overtime though. (I think.)


Then, I woke up to quite a shock this morning. My uncle passed away in his sleep last night. I guess the "in his sleep" part is what most people would want; however, he was only like 59 or 60. This was my dad's sister's husband, and ironically, the uncle I felt closest too. Our family on that side lives so far apart that we aren't very close, but I've seen this uncle many times, especially in the last 5 or 6 years. My heart goes out to my cousins, who have lost their father. I can't imagine what that must be like for them.