Ten Years :: My 9-11 Memories

Everyone has their own version and their own memories of the day. Mine are not especially significant. I didn't know anyone who was affected, and I don't have anything to say that is profound or really even worth sharing. In fact, on the tenth anniversary of this historic day, I even put off thinking about it because I didn't want to remember how I felt or how sad it was. It helps me to process my thoughts by writing them down, and so that's what I shall do.

Ten years ago. I was 17. Seventeen. I've almost forgotten what it's like to be a teenager. I was recently made painfully aware of this when hearing the age (15) of a babysitter who was going to watch my niece, Ellie for me so that Nate and I could go to a comedy night at our church. I thought, fifteen is too young to babysit a nine month...oh, wait. I started babysitting when I was 12 or 13. *facepalm* But the facts are that seventeen-year-old-me and my family had just moved to Michigan like a month prior, and school had just started about two weeks before September 11. I worked at McDonald's. All of my grandparents were still living (and I now only have one living grandma). I drove myself and my 13-year-old brother to school in my parents' 1983 Chevy Celebrity. I was also enrolled at a university, where I would later earn my bachelor's degree, taking a college-level Spanish class Monday and Wednesday afternoons, but Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday afternoons were free for me to spend extra time in the lab of my favorite class, Yearbook, of which I would later be asked to be editor. This is what I wrote as it appears in my high school's 2001-2002 yearbook.
9-11
They said we'd always remember 9-11. I could never forget. Could you?
By Laura Wills, Editor of the Royal Heir 2002
      It was a normal Tuesday morning, just like any other school day. I was sitting in government class, trying to stay awake, when everything changed. Mr. Barsuhn was called out of the room, and he returned with a serious expression on his face. He told us that a terrorist-controlled plane flew into one of the towers of the World Trade Center in New York. The class sat silently in disbelief. Later, we heard that another plane flew into the other tower of the WTC.
      This experience was frightening, but God did not want us to be afraid. The Bible is full of encouragement that applied to the events of September 11, 2001. God continually tells us not to be afraid because he sees the big picture. "...'Do not be afraid, nor be dismayed; be strong and of good courage, for thus the Lord will do to all your enemies against whom you fight' (Joshua 10:25, NIV)." God has also warned us that we will have trouble in this world. "In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world (John 16:33, NIV)."
      Our nation will never be the same. Good has and will come from this tragedy. Let us never forget Who this nation stands for, and let us always be thankful for the freedom to worship Him. We must remember that God is always in control.

Obviously, I wrote this after I had had a lot of time to process the events that had happened. The things I said were true and still are. I don't believe our nation has been the same since. But that day, my emotions were raw. I spent nearly the entire school day in front of the one TV our small Christian school had in the "Cafetorium" (multipurpose cafeteria/auditorium). We started watching after the first plane hit the first tower, and so we watched LIVE while the second plane hit the second tower, the other plane hit the Pentagon, and the fourth plane crashed in Pennsylvania. That day, we had no idea that that would be the end of the planned attacks. We just knew that our nation was under attack, most likely from terrorists, and it was terrifying. For all we knew, there were many more attacks to come. For the first time in my sheltered American teenage life, I didn't feel safe. That day after school, I remember going out to dinner with my dad and my little brother to a little establishment in our small town. The restaurant was full of people, but the atmosphere was hazy and quiet. With only the news on the radio, everyone was silent in complete bewilderment.

Just today, I watched video footage of the second plane hitting the second tower of the World Trade Center. It is common footage that you can find a million times over by doing a simple search on Google or YouTube, but I hadn't seen it in years. Memories of how I felt the first time I saw it came flooding back to me. Those are the snapshots that replay in my head when I think of this day. Aside from the obvious countless lives lost, the surviving friends and family, the country at war with terrorism, and the renewed sense of patriotism, here are a few things I noticed while flipping through my high school yearbook that have changed. The New York City skyline. Airline security. Security to large public places and events (including amusement parks, tourist attractions, and sports arenas). The Sears/Willis Tower. The Internet. Facebook. The software we used to design the yearbook, Pagemaker, doesn't exist anymore; it is now called InDesign, and it's in its 5th version. There are countless more, but that's all that have come to mind just now.

The world has changed and will doubtlessly continue to change in the coming years, but of one thing I'm certain: my God is greater and more powerful than any evil in this world, and He is in control.

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"I'm pressed but not crushed; persecuted not abandoned / Struck down but not destroyed. / I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure / And his joy's gonna be my strength // Though the sorrow may last for the night / His joy comes with the morning." - Trading My Sorrows, by Darrell Evans

Project 31: Day 7: Melanie

Day 7. Write a blog to encourage another beautiful woman.

I've been praying about who God would have me write to encourage. The same beautiful woman comes to mind each time. I am beginning to understand what it means for God to lay people on your heart and that there is a reason for it. I have no idea why, but I'm pleased to write a little backstory about why and how she has encouraged me followed by a few words I have to say to her.

How We Met:

Melanie and I met and got to know each other summer 2007 at the campground where we both used to work in the housekeeping department. I'm the second on the left, and she's the one on the far right. We were at similar places in our lives at the time, and we had some great discussions. We both got engaged within weeks (it may have been more like days...I can't remember exactly) of each other. Well, the summer ended, but as people do, we added each other on Facebook to stay in touch. We didn't really converse a lot over that next year. She was a senior in college, and I was struggling getting my first "real job". It was fun, however, to watch each other wedding plan as our wedding dates were one week apart! After our weddings, I eventually discovered she had a blog, and though I hadn't started one yet at the time, I remember occasionally reading hers. I probably didn't comment much, but I enjoyed reading about the adventures of her and her husband.

The One with Her Blog That Has Encouraged Me :o)

Then she wrote this blog post about how her husband quit his job in a grad school program and how they were trusting God to provide for them with no real source of income. I remember reading how she wasn't freaking out. I knew that God must have been giving her a peace about it. I knew that was awesome and I definitely respected her for it, but I have to be honest, part of me still thought, Oh my goodness. It's so irresponsible to quit a job without another lined up. God will provide but you have to work hard. You can't just expect Him to drop money in your lap. Not that I was placing judgment on them. Like I said, I knew God would provide, but I guess I was freaking out for them just a little bit. I think knowing God will provide and being faced with having to totally rely on Him to provide are totally different things. I remember reading that to Nate. We commented that we could never do that, but on the other hand, good for them.

Well fast-forward two years. Melanie wrote this post about what had happened in the two years following and how Kevin wanted to be a pastor now, a decision he never would have made had he not originally quit his PhD program. God did a MAJOR work in me in the approximately two years in between these posts. For some reasons that were very important to me, I felt I needed to leave a job I really loved doing about seven months before I actually did leave. I had thought about it a lot. I had prayed about it. I had talked to my husband about it. We had prayed about it. I read what happened with Kevin and Melanie and was so encouraged. I remember sitting at McDonald's with my husband the day I quit my job and looking at Kevin and Mel as an example of trusting God to provide and what that really means practically. I absolutely could not believe we were considering something similar. I wanted God's will first and foremost. I was scared out of my boots, but I did it. God gave me a peace that I can't even describe to you. Nate and I both knew it was the right thing for me to do, but it was one of the scariest things I'd ever done.

Fast-forward another 5 months. In those few months, we experienced much frustration, much tightening on the finances, and many, many, many conversations about our future. In mid-December, God did a huge work in our lives. With very little warning, He basically dropped the perfect job (nanny for my niece AND freelance graphic designer) into my lap and in a matter of a week, we were moving to Texas. It was extremely sudden, but we knew with almost no doubt that it was what God wanted. For more info on this, you should probably read this and if your really bored and interested go ahead and read this too. My husband, Nate, had to quit his job and when our HSA (health savings account...a form of health insurance) runs out, we will have no health insurance. This trumps quitting my job as one of the scariest things I've done. Now suddenly, we were in Kevin and Melanie's shoes. We were doing some of the idiotic things for Christ* that they had done. They have been blessed beyond measure. God has taken their willing hearts and made something beautiful. Their ministry is flourishing. It is absolutely beautiful to watch.

The Part Where I Encourage Her

Melanie, dear, I want to thank you for writing from your heart. I want to thank you for using your God-given talents, your human quirky uniqueness, and your real life experiences for His glory. I love that you have a blog for your youth group. I love your transparency to your teens in your blog and in life. I can tell that you are a huge encouragement to them and a wonderful role model for them to look up to. Thank you for sharing your struggles and triumphs in your marriage. I smile when I think of you two working together, hand in hand, as a team. A healthy (not to be confused with perfect) marriage is so, so beautiful. Don't hate me when you read my initial reaction to Kevin's quitting his PhD program. I wanted to relate it because of the irony of how God has used my reaction to teach me more about Himself and to prepare me for others to react to me that way. I know he is preparing something for Nate and me that is the absolute best thing for us, and seeing your flourishing ministry encourages me whenever I start to doubt. I love how you share your struggles and triumphs with eating well and exercising. I love that you wear many hats and that you thrive in doing many different jobs when many people struggle juggling just one. I have no idea how the next two years will unfold for the Eccles or the Piatts, but I know God has some exciting things in store. I want to encourage you to keep doing what you're doing. Everyone has days they wonder if what they are doing really matters, and I just pray that this can be an encouragement to you in some small way. You're beautiful!

*Watch the sermon "Idiots for Christ" by Craig Groeschel via that link. Trust me, if God has ever asked you to do something crazy, you will be able to relate and will love this sermon. You can listen to the podcast instead if you prefer. :o)

The [Sarcastically] Best Post EVER

When it comes to language both written and verbal, I appreciate humorous quips as much as the next girl. It took me awhile, but I started using "fail" in a sentence, though I think saying something is "epic" is still a little too "emo" for me. I guess I have a harder time harnessing my inner 17-year-old boy than others do. I jest. However, there is one colloquial saying that I just can no longer silently tolerate. It has become a huge pet peeve for me.

My [husband, daughter, mom, etc.] is the [insert superlative adjective here, e.g. best, prettiest, smartest] EVER.

I know I'm going to sound hypersensitive, but I find this SO OFFENSIVE. Seriously. When using a superlative, you are by definition making a comparison. For non-grammarian readers, a superlative is basically a descriptive word with an -est at the end of the word. It's usually fine when using it to describe inanimate objects or ideas, but it's pretty much never fine when used about people in public.* For example, when someone tells me they have the best husband ever, I know they don't intend to say that my husband is worse by comparison, but that is exactly what they are saying. My mental reaction is usually, Hmm, I think mine's pretty swell, thank you very much.

Granted, I used to use this phrase all the time to describe people, that is until I bore the brunt of this comparison enough times that it became very hurtful to me. People don't intend it, but after awhile, especially to people whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation, it's very difficult to indirectly be told you, someone you love, or something you've done is second best. As a Christian, I think I can without question say that edifying one person while demeaning another is not really what God intends. I mean it's pretty explicit in Ephesians 4:29, no matter which version you read. The New Living Translation is not usually my go-to version, but I'm a fan of it with this verse: "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

I am in no way an expert on this. I am also in no way inferring that we should walk on eggshells around people, always worrying that we might offend others. That's just plain nonsense. But think about it, would you walk into a room full of teachers and loudly proclaim to one of them, You're the best teacher EVER!!!? No, you wouldn't. Or if you did, you'd probably get a lot of scowls. Nobody wants to be second best. Now if I told you that Dr. Pepper is the best carbonated beverage EVER, I'd be right. It absolutely is. :o) And if you told me that The Office is the funniest show EVER, I'd probably tell you that you were crazy. I don't think I'll ever understand the draw of that show. But no one would be hurt. I think the Queen of Long-Winded made her point.

I just had to get that out. A huge percentage of people I know use this phrase. I think even my husband recently used it to describe me on Facebook the other day. So I want to clarify that I am not directing this at anyone in particular and don't want anyone to feel judged by me. I just think that we too easily say things we think without considering their effect on others, and I felt the need to present people with a viewpoint on a topic about which they probably haven't given much thought. People are obviously free to formulate their own opinions.

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*I totally tell my husband that he is the best ever in private but never within earshot of other people. When other people are around, I love to publicly encourage him but try to do so without superlatives.

A Confession of My Own

I recently read the confession of a friend of mine about how connected she feels to people she doesn't really know because of blogging. I can so relate. Countless times I have found myself telling Nate about people who have so willingly opened their lives on a blog that I feel like I know. If you don't blog or read other blogs, you probably can't really understand that. I know of people who feel a similar connection when watching certain reality television.

Now I have a confession of my own. I don't have very many friends I spend time with in real life. I still have my very best friend, Laura. We talk almost every week via text, phone, a few times a year in person, Facebook, email...you know. We still have a very strong friendship...but she lives 2+ hours away. Some of my other college friends that I would consider my "close" friends I see about once a year or so and we keep in touch much the same way. But since all of my friends live AT LEAST an hour away from me, I don't see people as often as I would like. We have zero friends at our church, and there is no one we spend time with on the weekends besides family. I love spending time with our families, but it would be nice to have some other friends in our town to socialize with. So, I have somehow subconsciously resorted to making friends on the Internet.

Before you go thinking that I'm off on some weird site meeting strange people in strange ways, no. I am just finding that I'm becoming friends with people who I used to think of as acquaintances. I probably friended them on Facebook because I knew who they were, not that we were really close. And I'm SO thankful I did. At the risk of sounding really cheesy, I want to mention a few of those people who probably mean more to me than they realize.

Angie

We were classmates in high school, but we probably never really even had a conversation then. We are both pretty good friends with my brother's fiance, and thus, we have begun talking a lot more. I talk to her almost daily, and I really love it. I enjoy hearing about her life, reading her blog, and watching her son (and soon-to-be daughter, too) grow up. We are both bridesmaids in Becka and Jonathan's wedding, and so we've had a few opportunities to see each other in real life, too. I feel like we are becoming friends on our own, and I've loved that. Without the Internet, it never would have happened.

Katie

We were also classmates for a year in high school, but since we were in the same grade, we had a bit more interaction than I did with Angie. That year, I was super quiet and not very social. At all. Looking back, I am pretty sure I was going through some sort of depression. I'll have to write another blog about that another time, but suffice it to say that I didn't get to know any of my classmates very well. Even if I had, I don't think Katie and I would have had that much in common then. Not that we weren't friendly, but we just didn't have had much to talk about. Now thanks to Facebook and the blogging world, I read Katie's blog daily, and I comment on it almost as often. I designed her logo for her Katie the Frugal Lady blog. She has awesome tips on couponing, which I love, but more than that, I've loved the feeling that I'm getting to know her better. She lives in California, so we definitely don't see each other in person ever. But like with Angie, I love watching her son grow up and hearing about her struggles and triumphs. The-learning-how-to-save-more-money part is more of a bonus.

Danielle

I can't believe I almost forgot to write about Danielle as well! Through Facebook, I've gotten to see Danielle's beautiful photography. She really has a natural talent. I wanted to start the tradition of getting our family's picture taken yearly, and Danielle has been our photographer the past two years. She does an awesome job. We've begun a working relationship with each other, which I've loved. We spur each other on in our own creative enterprises, mine with graphic design and her with photography. I've designed several things for her, and she tells people about me. I've had several customers come to me saying they heard about me from Danielle. It's been fantastic. But other than that, I've loved getting to know her personally, watching her go through all of life's ups and downs and always seeming to have a smile on her face. I'm continuing to pray for her pregnancy. I know she will make a wonderful mother. :o)

Amy

I've gotten to know Amy because, well, our husbands are best friends. They certainly don't see each other as much as they'd like, but I hope that in some small way, we can help them feel more connected. I always find myself telling Nate about what's going on with Amy and Brian's cats and ask him if he's seen pictures of their new house. Amy followed along with my crazy ventures at my former work. She loved hearing about the "crazy conspiracy theorist guy" who used to come in our office and tell us some of the strangest things I've ever heard. I used to find myself relaying them on Facebook just for her benefit. I think Amy and Brian and Nate and I would spend more time together if they also did not live 2+ hours away. I think it's high time we planned to meet up with them again.

So to those four ladies especially, I appreciate you! (Although Katie and Danielle might hate me now after reading my previous blog entry.) :o)

Day 30

January 4, 2010, Nate and I went on a serious health/weight loss kick. We didn't tell anyone we were doing it until the first 30 days were up. It added a bit of excitement and intrigue, at least for us, to the goal. I posted on Facebook every so many days saying "Day 14", etc. People would ask, but I didn't tell them. Then, on Day 30, I wrote this Note. Reposted to Blogger, February 5, 2011.

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So, apparently I've garnered more interest in my 30 Day count-up than I ever expected to. It really wasn't my intention to have all of my FB friends in suspense, but rather I only wanted to keep the reason for my 30 Day count-up to myself until the results actually came to fruition. Hopefully, you'll understand why after you read this.

Without further ado, here it is:

On January 4, 2010, Nate and I began a strict regimen of exercising and watching our diet. Nothing crazy - we just wanted to be healthy. On that day, I decided to make the commitment to exercise EVERY DAY for 30 days as a habit-forming yet fast-as-possible way to reach my goal, healthy weight. I almost reached the goal. I only missed 3 days out of 30. I'm actually not at all disappointed. For me, that's amazing, especially since 4-5 days is the recommended exercise per week.

So, has it worked? Short answer: it's working. We have been watching what we eat, especially (but not only) calorie intake and have been doing regular cardio/aerobic exercise. I've lost almost 10 lbs. in 30 days, and Nate has lost almost 15! This is obviously exciting for us!

The tools we're using:

1. “Lose It!” iPod app. - This software for the iPhone/iPod Touch figures your daily calorie budget based on your current weight, your goal weight, and how many pounds you want to lose per week (with a max of 2 per week). The application is free and you can connect with friends to see how they are doing. Having other people see your progress and seeing theirs really helps spur you on! Linda Eccles introduced it to us, and we love it.

2. “Biggest Loser Workout: Cardio Max” DVD – This six-week cardio program is meant to help you maximize your weight loss in a minimum amount of time. Nate got it for me for my birthday in October 2009, but we just started using it regularly in January. We are on week 5, and while it has not been easy, it has been so, so rewarding. The three trainers, Bob, Jillian, and Kim do levels 1-3 respectively, and you add a level every two weeks. After the first 6 weeks, you can customize your workouts and do whatever combination of the workouts you want. It works so well for both of us!

3. “Eat This, Not That” book – an eye-opening, “No-Diet Weight-loss Solution” book, published by “Men’s Health” magazine, I ran into one day in Meijer last year. It offers an “eat this” option for every “not that” meal, beverage, dessert you can think of at restaurants and grocery stores. They have lots of books now, including one especially for kids, but I just have the restaurant guide and supermarket guide. There are all sorts of surprising nutrition facts, like how Nutri-Grain cereal bars are really no more than candy bars, though they sound so healthy! (Apparently the first ingredient is high fructose corn syrup and the second is corn syrup – processed forms of sugar, as it explains in the book.) It’s interesting (and sometimes depressing) to look up restaurants and find meals you’ve ordered at specific restaurants on the “eat this” or “not that” list.

That’s basically all we’re doing, and I wanted to keep track of the days via my facebook statuses with the daily “count-up”. I really only kept the reason a secret because I didn't want to say, "I'm going to start working out regularly now," and then quit after two weeks. I've done that, and it's so depressing. I don’t think people take others seriously when they say they are going to start a new habit, especially one so commonly taken as a new year’s resolution, until they see that you actually have done it. Instead I wanted to keep track of my days without telling people why until I actually followed through and succeeded.

The interest people have apparently shown, whether they’ve intended it or not, has really been encouraging for me. It makes me feel like other people are excited for me to reach my goals, even when they didn’t know what my goals were! Nate will reach his weight loss goal in April, and I am scheduled to reach mine in June (according to our Lose It! App). If you are interested, I will keep you updated, and if I have visible results, I will post pictures. :o)

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Comments:

Alyssa: Congrats! :) I wish I had your motivation. I am using Jillian Michaels: 30 Day Shred. I can feel it working but sometimes I lose motivation. :( But congrats again! :)

Elizabeth: That's awesome. Good job. Keep up the good work.

Angie: Great job! It does work! I lost 10 lbs. during the 30 days too! I still do it but sometimes it's hard to stay motivated. I haven't gained any back, so that's good! My goal is to lose 5-10 more lbs...but the last 10 are the hardest! Keep it up! :)

Christie: Great job! :)

Rebecca: I'm so happy for you!! Great job!!

Jenny: Congrats! I too have started a workout program. It's called P90x. It is awesome. I have been doing the DVD workouts but haven't done the actual diet. I am starting to just try to eat healthy. 34 days done, 56 left! It feels great to get healthy. Keep up the good work.

Valerie: Right on! Nice job! :)

Julie: Way to go!