Project 31: Day 4: Style 31

Day 4. Style 31. Post a pic of you in your favorite outfit.

This might not be the favorite, but it is a favorite. I got the shirt on a clearance rack for $3!!! Since I've lost a little weight, I'm glad I can wear a shirt like this without looking pregnant. :o) Oh, please ignore the background and poor quality photos. These were taken at our old house like the week before we moved.

Project 31: Day 3: Inspiration

Day 3. Who is someone you know who inspires beauty?

Oh boy. I'm going to have to think long and hard about this one. This might be a stream of consciousness post, just a warning. Someone I know. I am inspired by lots of people I don't know whose blogs I read. I don't think that counts. Hmm. Inspires beauty how? Inspires me to be beautiful? Inspires beauty in those around them? Inspires you to make things that are beautiful? I could take this so many ways. I'm going to stick with inspires me to be beautiful because that seems to fit the theme best. I make a quick mental list: Nate, mom, Polly (my mother-in-law), GramE. Then I pause and wonder, just one? No. It would be a disservice to the ones I left out if I chose only one. So, with that, I am going to bend the rules a little, and write about all four of the ones I mentioned.

My husband Nate inspires me to be beautiful by the way he affirms me and tells me I look beautiful even when I don't try and especially when I don't agree. He tells me I am beautiful almost daily, and sometimes I say, "Really? Today? I haven't showered. My hair's a mess. I look terrible today." He gets so irritated with me, and rightly so. One time, he really called me out on it. "Laura, you know when I tell you that you're beautiful and then you tell me you're not, you are basically calling me a liar. Your distrust in me really makes me feel disrespected." Ouch. But he was right, so right. I have since curbed my instinct to deny his compliment. This is one of the main reasons I knew we were so meant for each other. He tells me what I need to hear when I need to hear it in a loving but straightforward manner. Never harsh or hurtful. In love. I cherish him for that. Now on days when I don't feel beautiful and he tells me I am, I force a smile and thank him. Each time, it gets easier to accept. Because of the way he shows love to me, he makes me want to be even more beautiful on the inside and out.

My mom, Linda, who is one of the strongest women I've ever known, inspires me to be as strong as she is. As with many women, she has been through more than she deserves. But I know God allowed things to happen to her because he knew she would trust him through it all and it would make her a stronger person. I love that we've become such great friends now that I'm grown. She has always told me that I'm beautiful, for as long as I can remember. My parents were very good, they still are, at encouraging me and telling me I was beautiful and talented. I knew they really believed it and weren't just telling me because they had to. I think so easily we dismiss encouragement from parents because we feel they have a moral obligation to tell us things about ourselves, even things that aren't true. What a ridiculous notion that is. There are always positive things to say about someone; there is no need to lie and tell them they are good at something when they aren't. I was never told I was a great athlete. That would have been preposterous. I'm not an athlete at all. But I have always been told how talented I am at writing and art. Those are things I love and that I am good at. My mom was and still is such a beautiful mom. When I grow up, I want to be as great a mom to my kids as she was and is to me. She has inspired me to be a beautiful mom myself someday.

My mother-in-law, Polly, is another strong influence in my life who inspires me. Though I've only known her for the past 4-5 years, I have really loved the role she has played in my life so far. I am thankful we have lived close so that I could get to know her better and spend time with her. She and Nate have a great relationship, too, which I am so thankful for. I remember once or twice she has told me, "I prayed for you." When Nate was growing up, she prayed for the woman he would some day marry. That resonates with me so strongly, that years before we would ever meet, she was praying for me. My mom was also praying for Nate. I am so thankful to have prayer as a very early base for our marriage! Polly is also a breast cancer survivor. I hope she doesn't mind me posting that for the world to see, but after thinking about it, I wanted to tell people how it has impacted me. She struggled with breast cancer before I knew her, but I have seen the look on Nate's face when he's told me stories about it. He remembers how strong she was spiritually and physically and how strong she still is now that she's cancer-free! She is a fighter for sure, and I just find that so inspiring. I hope if I am ever faced with hard challenges that she has had to face that I can take them on with the same strength and trust in God that she has. She inspires me to be a fighter no matter what. She's also an amazing cook! Nate grew up with a mom who is a fantastic cook. No, seriously. I have a lot to live up to!

My eighty-six year old grandmother has such a rich history, and I love it when she shares her wonderful stories with me. She is my last living grandparent, the only one who was able to be there for my wedding. At 5'3, she's tougher than she looks! She has had just about every non-life threatening health problem there is! She's super healthy, though. I think she takes like one pill a day besides her vitamins, which I guess is crazy for someone her age. She still lives alone in an independent retirement community in Florida where she and my grandpa moved when I was four years old. She goes on walks every day, gardens, cooks, cleans - everything she's done for as long as I've known her. I am her only granddaughter, and she has doted on me more than you could imagine! I believe my strong love of my heritage comes from her (through my mom). Since my grandpa passed away in 2003, she and I have gotten much closer. Never have I seen two people more in love than my grandparents were. They were married for 53 years before he passed away. I miss him a ton, and I can't image how much she must miss him every moment of every day. She inspires me to leave a beautiful legacy to my grandchildren someday, like she has to me.

So, sorry if I cheated a little bit. I am daily inspired by so many people - many who I do not know! I hope it inspired you in some small way to read about these people who have touched me so greatly. This post is part of a blog challenge started by She Breathes Deeply. Read more about it here or click the Project 31 picture above.

Project 31: Day 2: Unique

Day 2: What makes you uniquely you?

I'm pretty excited about this topic, posed by She Breathes Deeply. I find it super easy to write about myself and the stuff I like. My uniqueness in home decorating, fashion, art, you-name-it is split almost in half by two very different styles. They are almost as different as night and day.

Romantic

Victorian. Organic. Lace. Ruffles. Beads. Ribbon. Ornamentation. Serifs. Edwardian. Anne of Green Gables. Dresses. Pink. Roses. Picnics. Experiences. Tea. Novels. Chick flicks. Coffee shops. Bookstores. Historical fiction. Country roads. Antiques. Antique stores. Old homes. Long hair. Daydreaming. Elegance. Dogs. England. Hymns. Tradition. Royalty. Tiny, white chapels. Painting. Writing. Dancing. Walking outdoors. Gardening. Gothic architecture.

Urban

IKEA. Form follows function. Organization. Labels. Futuristic. Apple products. Clean. Purposeful. Graphic design. Cities. Travel. Star Trek. San-serifs. Etsy. T-shirts and jeans. Geometric. Non-fiction books. Efficiency. Smart design. Realistic. Practical. Modern (not to be confused with post-modern of which I am not a fan). Praise choruses. Technology. Concerts. Spontaneity. Escalators. I Am Not A Paper Cup. Online shopping. Large, mega-churches. Podcasts. Biggest Loser DVD workouts. Yoga. Appliances. Sci-Fi. Scheduled.

Nate and I got all dressed up for a fall train ride for my birthday. My sweater, pastel shirt, and cameo shout the romantic side of me pretty loudly. Those who work with him would be shocked to learn that Nate likes to dress up. He loves Fedora style hats, and I love when he wears ties!

This is also a very "us" picture taken by my dear photographer friend, Danielle. We were wandering in a downtown area of a nearby city. This is pretty obviously the urban side. Also, notice my new blog design. It's very urban and modern. We are moving to Texas in a few days, so in honor of that, the new blog is very grungy.

As far as personality type, according to the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, I am almost exactly half introvert and half extrovert. This means I get my energy both from being with people and from being alone. Personally, I think that's pretty weird and unusual. I have not yet met anyone else like that. It's like my personality can't decide which way it wants to go. I am actually pretty thankful for this because I can relate to both introverts and extroverts.

Maybe you'd call that somewhat bi-polar or say I have a split personality. I don't know that that is true, but trust me, I've tried to choose to be all romantic or all urban stylistically. It doesn't work. Similarly, if I try to be with people ALL the time, I get really cranky. If I am alone all the time, I get really depressed. So for me, finding my uniqueness has involved allowing myself to embrace both sides of me. It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to be both and to love both. I hope to keep showing both sides of my uniqueness on the blog.

Project 31: Day 1: Beauty

So I just started following the blog She Breathes Deeply like yesterday, but I have read several of her posts and I just really like them. She's starting this new project called Project 31. I'm not going to go into detail describing it because, well, she does a great job of it herself! I decided to join and try to write one every day or as many days as I can. I've never done a blog challenge before, so we'll see how it goes!

Day 1: What does beauty mean to you?

To define beauty in my own words would be nearly impossible to do with any amount of originality, but I'll try. Beauty, as applied to people, is an outward expression of an inward condition. I also love how Peter described it (1 Peter 3:3-4): "Your beauty should not be an external one, consisting of braided hair or the wearing of gold ornaments and dresses. Instead, it should be the inner disposition of the heart, consisting in the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which God values greatly."

As an artist, I have a trained eye for external beauty. I know about the elements of design like line, color, shape, texture, etc. I also know about the principles of design including balance, unity, repetition, and the like. The elements and principles are the tools I use to define what is beautiful in nature and in art. When applied to people, especially women, it's easy to see beauty in all different shapes, colors, and textures. Think about it. Some women are curvy, and some are tall and thin. Some are dark skinned and some are pale. Some women have beautiful wrinkles, a canvas of texture, while some have beautiful soft skin. They may not embody beauty by the definition popular culture uses, but artistically, they are beautiful.

As a Christian, I have a God-given blueprint for inner beauty as well. I know about the fruits of the spirit such as love, joy, peace, patience, self-control, to name a few. The fruits are how others should see Christ in us. Obviously, it's not always the case. But it should be. It absolutely should be. A person who is beautiful on the inside is patient with her family, loves friend and foe, and is at peace mentally and physically. It's nearly impossible for everyone to display these traits all at once and all of the time.

I feel like the elements/fruits are really the defining characteristics of beauty both physically and spiritually. Isn't it true, that as cliche as it sounds, when someone is inwardly full of joy, externally they look as though they could burst with their excitement and happiness?!? And when someone is at peace, you can tell by their whole aura.

These are a few shots of me on my wedding day, two and a half years ago. Unstaged, unprompted, natural shots.

People tell me they love these two photos. I was full of joy that day. It was unmistakeable. You can't hide the fruits of the spirit. They're evident, or should be, in your daily life. A person who "speaks" them through the way she lives her life radiates beauty. It permeates her entire being. I certainly don't exhibit all of the fruits every day. There are some I'm definitely better at than others, and there are some that I have to work very hard at. Namely patience. That one's hard for me. Not every piece of I create has all or even more than one of the elements and principles in it. Similarly, some come very naturally to me while others I have to consciously work to achieve.

Every woman wants to be told she's beautiful. I'll be the first to admit I love that. I've been told it all my life by my parents and now my husband. It never gets old. Ever. But at the end of the day, I want the reason to be more than skin deep. I want to be so full of the fruits of the spirit that I radiate inner beauty. That will enhance my outer beauty more than makeup or cute outfits ever could. I want my inner beauty to be so evident that when others see my art or read my blog, they just know without being told what kind of person I am. If I could chose a legacy to leave to my future children and grandchildren, I would want it to be that I was a beautiful person, inside and out, just like the Proverbs 31 woman.

Pre-Moving Emotions

Nate's really been taking the emotions as they come and handling them really well. As I mentioned, if I were in his shoes, I'd be a complete and utter mess. He is leaving the state and area he has known his WHOLE LIFE. I can't imagine how hard that is. Personally, I have been postponing dealing with this move emotionally. I have been too busy organizing and planning and cleaning and being practical about it that I haven't really allowed myself to really process it. Sure, I've had my semi-daily visits to Valerie and Andrew's Facebook pages to see pictures of my new charge and adorable now 8-week-old niece. Nate and I have also been immersing ourselves in everything Gateway Church, not in a cult-ish type way but just because it helps us to get excited about the awesome things we have to look forward to. Thus far, I've allowed myself to experience the exciting bits. The scary and sad bits? Not so much. I know I am going to miss people like crazy and will go through a lonely stage, but I know that the reality of the move and all of the emotions that come with it will hit me when we get to Texas. I will likely experience every emotion imaginable upon our arrival, so I guess for now I will just let myself focus on the excited bits and postpone the sob-sessions.

The [Sarcastically] Best Post EVER

When it comes to language both written and verbal, I appreciate humorous quips as much as the next girl. It took me awhile, but I started using "fail" in a sentence, though I think saying something is "epic" is still a little too "emo" for me. I guess I have a harder time harnessing my inner 17-year-old boy than others do. I jest. However, there is one colloquial saying that I just can no longer silently tolerate. It has become a huge pet peeve for me.

My [husband, daughter, mom, etc.] is the [insert superlative adjective here, e.g. best, prettiest, smartest] EVER.

I know I'm going to sound hypersensitive, but I find this SO OFFENSIVE. Seriously. When using a superlative, you are by definition making a comparison. For non-grammarian readers, a superlative is basically a descriptive word with an -est at the end of the word. It's usually fine when using it to describe inanimate objects or ideas, but it's pretty much never fine when used about people in public.* For example, when someone tells me they have the best husband ever, I know they don't intend to say that my husband is worse by comparison, but that is exactly what they are saying. My mental reaction is usually, Hmm, I think mine's pretty swell, thank you very much.

Granted, I used to use this phrase all the time to describe people, that is until I bore the brunt of this comparison enough times that it became very hurtful to me. People don't intend it, but after awhile, especially to people whose Love Language is Words of Affirmation, it's very difficult to indirectly be told you, someone you love, or something you've done is second best. As a Christian, I think I can without question say that edifying one person while demeaning another is not really what God intends. I mean it's pretty explicit in Ephesians 4:29, no matter which version you read. The New Living Translation is not usually my go-to version, but I'm a fan of it with this verse: "Don't use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them."

I am in no way an expert on this. I am also in no way inferring that we should walk on eggshells around people, always worrying that we might offend others. That's just plain nonsense. But think about it, would you walk into a room full of teachers and loudly proclaim to one of them, You're the best teacher EVER!!!? No, you wouldn't. Or if you did, you'd probably get a lot of scowls. Nobody wants to be second best. Now if I told you that Dr. Pepper is the best carbonated beverage EVER, I'd be right. It absolutely is. :o) And if you told me that The Office is the funniest show EVER, I'd probably tell you that you were crazy. I don't think I'll ever understand the draw of that show. But no one would be hurt. I think the Queen of Long-Winded made her point.

I just had to get that out. A huge percentage of people I know use this phrase. I think even my husband recently used it to describe me on Facebook the other day. So I want to clarify that I am not directing this at anyone in particular and don't want anyone to feel judged by me. I just think that we too easily say things we think without considering their effect on others, and I felt the need to present people with a viewpoint on a topic about which they probably haven't given much thought. People are obviously free to formulate their own opinions.

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*I totally tell my husband that he is the best ever in private but never within earshot of other people. When other people are around, I love to publicly encourage him but try to do so without superlatives.

Not my first barbeque

This is not my first barbecue. I've moved a lot. I know what it is like to get attached to people and places and the memories of events that occurred when living in a place. I know how to say goodbye and how important it is to keep in touch or else lose the friends you had (pre-Facebook, of course) but how you and the friends with which you do stay in touch can reunite and feel like no time has been lost at all. I have felt the pain of being, in essence, ripped away from your seemingly amazing life, being transplanted, and having to start all over again building new friendships, moving into a new house, new school, and new town. I've done all that. Not to say that it's always been easy. At times it really was easy, but other times it has been so, so hard. This move is falling somewhere in the middle, but it's so different than all of the past moves.

How many times have you moved, Laura?

Well I'm glad you asked.

1. 6 months. From IA to IN. I don't remember that at all, obviously.

2. 4 years. From IN to MN. Barely remember it.

3. 13 years. From MN to IN. I was so excited about this move.

4. 17 years. From IN to MI. I HATED this move in every imaginable way.

5. 24 years. From Jackson, MI to Coldwater, MI. I was very excited about this move.

6. 27 years. From Coldwater, MI to Dallas, TX. Oh boy.

In case you weren't counting, this will be my sixth move. Not that you should feel sorry for me and not that I'm bragging (because neither is the case). You should just know that my dad is/was a pastor and that should explain a few things. If not, it's a topic for another post anyway.

As for Nate, this is his first move. He's never been gone from Coldwater for longer than a semester or a summer, pretty much since he was born. I'm not suggesting that moving a lot is better than never moving. It's just different. Very different. I think it sometimes makes it impossible very difficult for us to understand each other. But, as with most topics and things about our personalities, I think it's just another way we complement each other.

As we were driving down the main drag in Coldwater today, I said to Nate, "I really cannot imagine what it must be like to have lived in a place ALL your life." I honestly can't even fathom it. I mean to see a parking space where you first practiced parallel parking and the spot where you used to sit to watch parades as a child in the same town. To have attended the same church all your life. To have gone to the same dentist since you had baby teeth and drive by the hospital where your mom has worked for as long as you can remember. It blows my mind. If I were Nate, I'd be so emotionally wrapped up in the town that I'm not sure I would ever want to move.

Conversely, Nate has a horrible time figuring out and remembering where I lived when. I learned to parallel park in southern Indiana and watched parades in Minnesota. As for churches I've called "home", I lost count at 14. (Yeah, I'm not really sure if I am proud or embarrassed about that). I've been to five different dentists (not including orthodontists) and my mom has had more totally different teaching jobs in totally different towns and cities than I can even describe to you right now. It must be so odd for Nate to try to wrap his mind around the various stages and locations of my life, but somehow, he does. I love that he tries. That means so much to me.

But I am so glad that this is our first move together. I mean we moved into this house in Michigan separately, him about six months before our wedding and me when we got married. Now that we are moving to Texas, I love that I can draw on him for strength and stability but that he has my experience from living in a wide variety of places already. Gag if you want to, but we're a great match.