El Fin: An Abrupt End to 2013 and To This Chapter of Our Lives

Well, I've been meaning to start blogging again, but I never intended it to resume like this. It is with a very heavy heart that I share that as of yesterday, Nate, my brother, sister-in-law, several friends, and dozens of other employees I don't actually know, lost their jobs when Inflammable, my brother's company, was forced to close its doors. There are many reasons for the closing, some of which I don't even know and none of which I can elaborate about on this public blog, but I will say that my brother and the board of directors of the company are not at fault and did everything in their power to avoid this. There was just no other choice. Rather than ask all the "why" questions that everyone naturally wants to ask but which aren't ever really helpful or very comforting anyway, I would prefer to dwell on the memories, both good and bad, to process and grieve the loss of something we all held so dear, and to focus on our next steps.

It's still surreal. I remember when Inflammable was a brand new idea. Back in 2008, my brother and his best friend, Joshua, hired me to design a logo for "Inflammable." (In fact, I still have my idea sketches, all the early rough drafts, and all of the various versions saved on my computer.) To my knowledge, Andrew was the only employee for a long time. Then fast forward about 5 years, when Nate and I went on a road trip to help Andrew land a client, and then, just like that, Nate was hired full time by Inflammable. Andrew was also now at Inflammable full time, and he couldn't hire employees fast enough. Joshua and his family moved down here a few months later when he was hired on full time. The company grew like crazy, and it was exciting. Some people worried it would grow faster than it should and that would be its downfall, but it wasn't. We knew God was blessing Inflammable for whatever reason, and it was amazing to watch.

Nate traveled a lot for about a year, and we were apart SO MUCH. It was difficult, but we knew he was gaining some amazing job experience. It helped to know that it was helping us pay off our debt as fast as possible (we became big Dave Ramsey fans in case you missed that memo). We knew the separation wouldn't last forever. Then he transitioned to a local position at the company but had to work nights. I HATED that. He actually rather enjoyed the work, but I thought it was almost worse than when he traveled because even when he was off, he was sleeping when I was awake and vice versa. We hardly saw each other. But, it was more job experience that we knew would make Nate more valuable to the company and to future employers, so we hung in there. I would have expected Nate to work there another 10 years at least, but that was not to be so.

Soon Inflammable had the biggest suite in the office building. I never could get used to seeing that logo I designed so many years prior on the giant sign out in front of this super tall office building. They asked me to clean some of the offices for them, which I definitely had the experience to do after having cleaned at Somerset Beach Campground several years ago. :) If you would have told me that the last time I was there to clean would, in fact, be the last time I would ever clean for Inflammable, I wouldn't have believed you.

The staff Christmas party was scheduled to be less than a week from today, and we were so excited that there were going to be so many employees and their FAMILIES there. Last year, there were probably about 20 in attendance which included employees and their spouses, but the Christmas party the year before that was attended by just Andrew, Valerie, Ellie, Nate, me, and one other employee. That's it - six, including the baby! No one else worked there yet. So this year was going to be the biggest yet with probably 30 families attending, if I had to guess, and Valerie worked so hard to plan it for us. I suppose some of us could go out for dinner anyway, but none of us feels much like celebrating now.

It's hard to remember all of these little things that are now gone, but it's also important to note that when I say "the company closed", it's not as black and white as it sounds. It's not so easy to dismiss as tossing away a bit of junk mail. There were real people and real life was happening under the name Inflammable. There were so many hard days of work and so many wonderful ones that I don't even know about since I wasn't even technically an employee, but these are just the instances I witnessed and remember - both the good and the difficult ones. Inflammable wasn't our company, I mean Nate and I weren't the owners, but we felt so proud of this company since both of us were involved to some degree even from early on. I was, and still am, so proud of what my brother, sister-in-law, and Joshua did with that company. Excuse the cliche, but they poured their heart and soul into growing this company, and they did a dang fine job of it, too.

It's just so hard to say goodbye.
I can't believe that all of that is gone and this phase is over. 

So, now we are left to pick up the pieces. Nate and I have been through unemployment before, but never both of us at the same time. As I mentioned, I used to clean for Inflammable as well as babysit a few days a week so that Valerie could do HR, so this means that we no longer have that income either. I do not know what we would do if we hadn't started budgeting like Dave Ramsey suggests and if we hadn't taken FPU and started the debt snowball. I'm not going to get on my soapbox about it right now, but we only have one additional debt payment next to our Four Walls: rent, utilities, transportation, and food. I wish we had our fully funded emergency fund in place of 3-6 months expenses so that we didn't have to cancel our Netflix, cable, and all of those extra unnecessary things, but I am so thankful that we are where we are financially. It's going to be a stressful time regardless, but we are able to keep our wits about us and construct a plan while we navigate these waves of grief and various other emotions. I'm thankful that I have a whole month or so of safety (because of our baby emergency fund and our budgeting) before I really start to freak out. :D And an extra month is plenty of time to find at least a basic job, or so we hope. *fingers crossed*

So, if you would, please be in prayer for my brother and his family, Joshua and his family, my family, as well as all of the other employees. None of us ever expected to go into Christmas unemployed. Please pray that everyone is able to make a smooth and swift transition to wherever they are to be employed next and that all of us would have peace that God knows the future and that there is always hope.

Also, thanks for all of you who venture over to my rarely updated blog. I will try to make sure the next time I post, it won't be quite so catastrophic or newsy. ;)